Bipolar Disorder and the Battle for Control
I've always been a type B sort of person. I'm never truly organized. Very creative and go-with-the-flow most days.
Although that description may seem fitting for someone with bipolar disorder, having a more lackadaisical approach to life has often clashed with the ways I try to manage my condition.
Control was the major theme of my childhood. I was raised in a very strict Christian household, which meant that I had to follow a more restrictive set of rules and expectations than some of my non-religious peers. I didn't have a choice of what I wore, what I watched on TV, how I spoke, or even who I was friends with. Privacy and free will didn't exist in my childhood or adolescence, so I've never had a healthy relationship with the idea of control.
My 2016 bipolar II diagnosis definitely contributed to this dysfunctional connection. Learning that a lot of my behaviors or habits were caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain made me feel like I didn't have a steady grip on my own well-being. Knowing that I would experience hypomanic or depressive episodes for the rest of my life – at times I couldn't predict or choose – made me worry that I would never fully be in control of my own life. Even now, it's sometimes hard to not let those feelings overshadow my identity.
The medications I take to manage my bipolar disorder and other diagnoses are a lifesaver. Literally. They help me remain as stable as possible and truly feel like myself. I rarely experience depressive or hypomanic symptoms, and I'm able to feel my emotions and go through tough times without totally spiraling.
If I'm being honest, though, accepting that I'll probably need to stay on these medications forever in order to stay mentally well wasn't easy. Although I've been treated for bipolar disorder for many years, the urge to 'take back control' instead of sticking to my treatment plan and following my health care providers' instructions still comes up from time to time.
I've been guilty of missing or purposely skipping doses of my medication more times than I'd like to admit. In my early 20s, I sometimes went months without taking them.
You can imagine how badly this backfired. Plenty of episodes and hospital stays could have been avoided if I had just accepted that I was prescribed things like medication and regular therapy for a reason.
Now that I'm in my 30s, I recognize how irresponsible and harmful those choices were, but I can also see how they served as a way for me to feel a sense of authority over my illness.
Honestly, the battle I've fought to gain power over my mental health may never really be over. I am only human, so I anticipate that past frustrations or feelings around free will could still pop up from time to time.
Despite this, I will always be thankful that I've had access to the amazing care I've been given for my mental health and the ways it has improved my sense of self. In other words, I'm trying my best to find empowerment in giving up a little 'power.'
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Forbes
22 minutes ago
- Forbes
Ulike Hair Removal: A Look At The Brand's Most Advanced IPL Device
This article was created in partnership with Ulike to showcase its Air 10 IPL hair removal device. The Air 10 is designed with cutting-edge features to help you achieve smooth skin that lasts. Swimsuit season is here, and you might be considering ways to get rid of stubborn body hair. As an alternative to razors or at-home waxing kits, which have short-term results, Ulike hair removal devices use intense pulsed light (IPL) technology to target melanin in the hair follicles, putting them into a dormant state to hinder further growth. The brand's most advanced device—the lightweight Ulike Air 10—is built to deliver full-body hair reduction with results in as little as two weeks. Plus, its skin protection and cooling features help ensure safety and comfort with each session. Right now, you can save 26% on your purchase. Here's everything you need to know about the Ulike Air 10 so you can decide if it's right for you (make sure to refer to the brand's hair and skin tone chart to determine if IPL hair removal is a suitable option for you). Flashes: 300,000 | Light type: IPL | Power modes: 4 | FDA-cleared: Yes The Ulike Air 10 has a wide treatment surface and powerful dual lights to visibly reduce hair in just two weeks when you use it every other day. With the device's quick-flashing AutoGlide mode, you can tackle your legs, armpits, arms, bikini line, face and chest in around 10 minutes. Sapphire Ice Cooling technology helps the Air 10 maintain a 65-degree-Fahrenheit contact temperature to minimize burns, pain and irritation with use—even in sensitive regions. Plus, its SkinSensor automatically adapts the intensity of each flash to your skin tone, pausing in areas that are darker (and therefore absorb higher levels of energy) to ensure adequate protection. The Ulike Air 10's four power modes allow you to customize treatment depending on how thick your hair is and which body part you are targeting. Fast mode is ideal for regular maintenance, large areas and quick touch-ups; Normal is best for removing fine-to-normal hair on most body parts; High is meant for removing coarse hair on the arms, legs, chest and back; and the laser-inspired Super Hair Removal (SHR) mode powerfully disrupts growth on the armpits, chest, beard or bikini line. When you use SHR mode for your every-other-day sessions in the first two weeks, you can expect up to a 96% reduction in hair density. IPL offers a range of benefits compared to other hair removal options. While shaving and waxing can cause redness, burns and skin irritation, and only remove hair for a short period of time, IPL is nearly painless for most and delivers long-lasting results. In terms of convenience, laser hair removal usually requires visiting a clinic for professional treatment, but you can use the Ulike Air 10 from the comfort of your home. Plus, it's a far less expensive method than laser hair removal, and you skip the costs of either salon or at-home waxing treatments or shaving supplies as well. The Ulike Air 10 is currently 26% off, so if you shop now, you can save even more. To use the Ulike Air 10, prepare your skin by shaving hairs longer than 2mm. Then pick your mode, place the device against your target area and engage the flashes to begin treatment. The brand recommends using the Air 10 three times a week for the first month followed by biweekly or monthly sessions for touch-ups. Each treatment encourages body hair to grow back thinner, lighter and less often. Flashes: 300,000 | Light type: IPL | Power modes: 3 | FDA-cleared: Yes The Air 3—Ulike's baseline hair removal device—is easy to use and provides noticeable hair reduction in as little as three weeks, making it Forbes Vetted's pick for the best full-body at-home laser hair removal device. Use Soft mode for your face and upper lip, Body mode for your arms and legs, and Power mode for your bikini area and armpits. You can remove hair from your entire body in about 12 minutes using the thumb-free AutoGlide mode. Plus, like the Air 10, the Air 3 is designed with Sapphire Ice Cooling technology to help prevent burns and irritation. Flashes: 300,000 | Light type: IPL | Power modes: 3 | FDA-cleared: Yes While Ulike devices are gender-neutral, the Ulike X features a mode with high energy output to tackle the thick body hair commonly found on men's armpits, face, pubic area, abdomen and more. It has a wide treatment window and dual lights for effective results, cooling technology and sensors to safely adjust the intensity of flashes. The intensity levels are Normal for eliminating fine to medium hair, Fast for quick touch-ups and High for thick, coarse hair. Additional modes include AutoGlide for treating large areas and Manual for precise removal. While Ulike hair removal devices can't permanently stop hair from growing back, regular maintenance sessions help keep the follicles dormant, preventing regrowth over time. For prolonged results, the brand recommends one or two treatments per month (after doing three sessions a week for the first month). You might be able to stop using the device for an extended period; however, it's possible your hair will return in six to 12 weeks, requiring additional follow-up sessions. While laser hair removal works by flashing rays to burn hair follicles, IPL uses mild light beams that induce follicles into a dormant state. While side effects are possible with either approach, those caused by IPL tend to be less severe. Ulike hair removal is also nearly painless for most, due to having a lower intensity than laser and incorporating cooling technology into its devices. IPL also uses a broad spectrum of light that can adjust to different skin types and hair colors; laser hair removal uses an intense, single-focused wavelength that is more likely to cause damage.
CBS News
38 minutes ago
- CBS News
FDA food inspector vacancies near 20% after Trump hiring freeze
Nearly 1 in 5 positions across the Food and Drug Administration's human food inspection divisions are now vacant, multiple agency officials tell CBS News, in the wake of departures encouraged by the Trump administration's cost-cutting efforts and a government-wide hiring freeze that had stalled efforts to replenish their ranks. While the FDA has long struggled with hiring and retaining qualified investigators to inspect food producers and distributors, multiple federal health officials — who spoke on the condition of anonymity and were not authorized to speak to the press — say that the staffing gap has worsened due to early retirements and resignations. "The FDA remains fully capable of fulfilling its public health mission to protect the safety of the American people. Under Commissioner Makary's leadership, the agency continues to meet its inspection obligations, ensuring that all facilities are reviewed within mandated timeframes," Emily Hilliard, a spokesperson for the Department of Health and Human Services, told CBS News. FDA Commissioner Dr. Marty Makary has claimed in interviews that no inspectors were laid off at the agency as a result of the sweeping restructuring ordered by Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. that began in April, but has not acknowledged the retirements and resignations. And despite Makary's statements, multiple FDA officials said they are worried about worsening attrition in the agency's ranks of investigators. "They're not going to admit our mission is at risk and we're missing timeframes, even though I've heard that's happening," a current FDA official told CBS News in a message. A separate current FDA official and one former official said that close to 20% of investigational positions are vacant across the agency's human foods inspectorate. "Since 2017, our ability to fulfill its public health mission is increasingly constrained by reduced inspectional capacity. We continue to face significant obstacles in recruiting and retaining qualified investigators, particularly in the foods program, where nearly 90 investigative positions remain vacant," the agency said last month in response to a draft of a report by the HHS inspector general. The inspector general had concluded that the FDA would need to increase inspections by more than 3,000 each year, in order to meet its goals. Under requirements laid out by Congress, the FDA is required to inspect food facilities at specific intervals, benchmarks that government watchdogs have long faulted the agency for falling short of. "For FDA to meet the inspection timeframes moving forward, it would need to inspect approximately 7,000 high-risk facilities each year. However, FDA inspected only about 58 percent of that amount," the inspector general's June 2025 report said. Around 40% of investigator positions are vacant for the group of investigators tasked with inspecting "critical foods" like infant formula plants, a current official said. "Critical foods has had difficulty with staffing because every inspection is high profile and the team is traveling more often than not. It isn't sustainable for everyone," a former FDA official said. The job of an FDA investigator has gotten harder in recent months, as the Trump administration imposed additional hurdles to make small purchases necessary for their work, ranging from buying everyday supplies to shipping samples, officials said. "The reality is that the extra steps in budget approval processes have caused inspections to be delayed, and investigators have had to take on administrative tasks that eat into their time being productive. Everything was taking longer," the former FDA official said. Many administrative staff and laboratory scientists supporting the FDA's food inspectors were also eliminated through layoffs, resulting in backlogs of testing and reimbursements. Some have since been reinstated by the agency. One current and one former FDA official said the agency also had many investigators that were in the process of being hired months ago, before attempts to fill the slots were blocked by an order signed by President Trump that now extends through July 15. Multiple officials said Friday morning they were hopeful that the Trump administration might grant an exemption to the hiring freeze after weeks of lobbying by officials within the agency. On Friday afternoon, after HHS responded to a CBS News request for comment about this story, the FDA published its first new hiring announcement for food investigators in months, among a handful of new job postings. "This position is being filled under a stream-lined hiring authority," the job posting reads.
Fox News
an hour ago
- Fox News
Far-left House candidate rallies around healthcare for illegal immigrants: 'How is it controversial?'
Kat Abughazaleh, a 26-year-old Democratic candidate for Illinois' ninth congressional district in the U.S. House of Representatives, said "every single person in the world deserves healthcare," even illegal immigrants. "How is it controversial?" Abughazaleh asked a CNN "NewsNight" panel on Thursday night. The young progressive candidate, with a campaign website that reads, "I don't have health insurance, and I'm running for Congress," repeatedly told the panel that every person is entitled to healthcare when asked if that includes illegal immigrants. "I'm such a monster… How is it controversial that I don't want someone to die in the hospital if they can't afford it?" Abughazaleh asked. President Donald Trump's One Big Beautiful Bill Act is currently under consideration by a Republican-led White House and Congress. The president has championed the legislation as fulfilling his key campaign promises, including border security, American energy production and tax cuts. House Republicans have celebrated Medicaid reform included in the megabill, which they say eliminates waste, fraud and abuse in the welfare program to deliver for Americans who need coverage most. Removing illegal immigrants from Medicaid is one of the key provisions of that Medicaid reform. Meanwhile, Democrats have railed against possible Medicaid cuts since Trump was elected in November. Every House Democrat voted against the bill, and Democrats are already defining Medicaid cuts as a driving issue ahead of competitive midterm elections in 2026. The bill does not cut Medicaid for the most vulnerable, according to Rep. Erin Houchin, R-Ind., who served on three major committees leading budget markup in the reconciliation process. Houchin told Fox News Digital that targeting waste, fraud and abuse in the Medicaid program cuts benefits to illegal immigrants, those ineligible to receive benefits who are currently receiving benefits, duplicate enrollees in one or more states and those who are able-bodied but are choosing not to work. "Your bill is going to cut coverage for 11 million Americans and it'll still cost more than universal healthcare. Healthcare is a human right, you absolute ghouls," Abughazaleh said in response to a Republican National Committee (RNC) rapid response account calling her comments, "madness." Abughazaleh said she is running for the U.S. House of Representatives because, "Our leaders are out of touch." The young Democrat is challenging Rep. Jan Schakowsky, D-Ill., who has served decades in congress. Abughazaleh is a former staffer for the progressive watchdog group, Media Matters, and a progressive influencer.
