What happens when stars say 'I don't?' Meet the people who help divorcing celebrities get their Hollywood ending.

Yahoo

5 days ago

Ever wonder how much strategizing goes into a celebrity divorce? A lot. Insiders tell us just how much is planned when famous figures announce they're calling it quits.
Breaking up in Hollywood is an art form.
It's not just about which half of the couple gets the mansions or the money — it's about who controls the narrative, who is spinning the breakup and who has the better professionals working overtime to make sure a star's image doesn't get caught in the cross fire.
Beneath every headline and strategic statement from a celebrity's camp or exclusive source, there's a carefully choreographed dance going on that most people don't see. There's a high-powered divorce attorney, typically costing more than $1,000 an hour, managing the division of assets. There's a longtime publicist who's been by a star's side through highs and lows, ensuring the split is framed in the best possible light. Then there's the X factor: the media. No matter how prepared a famous figure thinks they are for the attention that comes with a big life change, some of the best-laid plans can still unravel in the face of public scrutiny.
Celebrity divorces may seem like a personal matter, but in Tinseltown, they're a public spectacle. I spoke with a seasoned publicist, a top divorce attorney, a social media manager and an actress who've had front-row seats to these high-stakes splits. They took me behind the scenes of how these high-profile divorces are handled, because in the world of fame, it's never just about 'I don't' — it's about what happens after the vows fall apart.
Step 1: It's over
I talked to one actress whose divorce from another star made headlines in recent years. She preferred her name not be used but confirmed that one of the first calls she made was to her publicist.
"Going through a divorce isn't fun, whether you're famous or not. But if you are a 'celebrity,' then you know when you file, it's going to be reported about in the press," she tells me.
When a celebrity decides they are filing for divorce from their spouse, fans may or may not have caught wind of it in the press. Sometimes it's a slow trickle of reports that a split is imminent, like what happened as Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, or Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck all respectively decoupled. Other times, it's a total surprise, similar to the 2016 shocker that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were going their separate ways.
While those in the stars' inner circle may have had an idea of what was really going on beyond the headlines, what happens next is managed by professionals far beyond the realm of close friendships.
'You lean on your close friends for the emotional part," the actress says. "But you need a team to handle the business side of things."
Step 2: Build your team
A celebrity's team usually consists of a manager, agent and publicist. Depending on their level of fame, there might be assistants and in-house content creators to help with running their social media accounts. When a celebrity is going through a divorce, it's the publicist who takes the lead in navigating the incoming storm.
Sarah Schmidt, a celebrity publicist who has handled multiple client breakups, tells me that ideally, any publicists working on the talent's account are "looped in early enough to plan the announcement and quietly craft the surrounding narrative."
Schmidt, president of PR firm Interdependence, says if it's possible, a celebrity's publicity team is quietly crafting all of this before the public has any idea. They also work in tandem with the attorney chosen to represent the celebrity in the divorce.
"When I get hired by a celebrity, 80% of the time, a handler of the celebrity calls me and they kind of vet me," divorce attorney Nancy Chemtob, from Chemtob Moss Forman & Beyda, tells me. "Then after that, I meet with my client."
At that first meeting, Chemtob, who has represented stars like Mary-Kate Olsen, Tory Burch and Bobby Flay, says the first question she usually gets is, "Should I conflict out attorneys?" That means a star will go meet with other high-profile lawyers around town so that their soon-to-be ex cannot use that lawyer. In some cases, she will advise it, although it's rare.
"What ends up happening is your spouse is left with mid-level attorneys who will say 'Wow, this is the biggest case in the whole world,' and just keep [proceedings] going," Chemtob says. "I want to be on a level playing field with [the opposing attorney], so that someone I work with would have respect for me, and I would have respect for them, making the case easier, more settleable and our clients would have less stress."
With a lawyer in place, Schmidt says her staff then works on strategy. That includes crafting a "a clear, human-forward statement" for the celebrity to release.
You've probably read many of those statements. The stars made the decision to part with 'thoughtful consideration.' If it's not too contentious, there will be a line about separating with 'love' and 'respect," and that it was an "amicable" joint decision. The former couple will request 'privacy' during the 'difficult' time, especially for their children, and focus on "co-parenting."
Schmidt says they look to "identify trusted reporters or outlets" to disseminate the news "responsibly."
Then it's go time.
Step 3: File the papers, issue the statements
With a PR plan in place and a lawyer hired, it's time to mobilize — and the celebrity will officially file for divorce. Once that paperwork is filed at the courthouse, the first place people typically read about it is on TMZ, usually within 24 hours.
In an ideal world, Chemtob says, most of the settlement details are already hashed out before a star moves to dissolve the marriage.
"If it's a celebrity divorce, and they're both celebrities, there's typically always a prenuptial agreement," she says. "That makes it very easy for us to say, 'This is what you get, this is what you don't get.' Those divorces work out well."
Meanwhile, a star's publicity team goes to work. These days, statements are typically issued on social media. I talked to one former social media manager, who worked for an A-lister as they navigated a public divorce, who wasn't looped in until the last minute.
"It's a conversation between the talent and their PR team," the woman, who asked to remain anonymous due to an NDA, tells me about how involved a social media manager is in terms of the messaging.
"[Publicists] usually ask the social media manager to pull back or just stay quiet until further notice," she says.
When it does come time to post the message, the publicist takes the reins. According to this social media manager, she was hands-off when it came to uploading the statement on the star's Instagram. "The talent will typically post this one on their own… It's too personal to ask a social media manager to handle," she says.
If the divorce is between two celebrities and the stars are going the "amicable" route, there is typically some interaction between both publicity teams. For example, a joint announcement is made in an effort to show a united front.
"We work behind the scenes to coordinate with the other party's team, choreograph timing, align on visuals and reinforce the client's humanity," Schmidt says.
Celebrity divorces can sometimes be a real-life version of those Choose Your Own Adventure books. The ideal option is that the split really is peaceful, a prenup is in place and an easy custody agreement is worked out, if necessary. Option B: If it's contentious, the ugliness stays behind closed doors. There is a third scenario where the divorce absolutely erupts in the public arena, and the press is someone's best weapon.
"The biggest nightmare that we all know of is Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie," Chemtob says.
In 2016, Jolie filed for divorce, which was triggered by an alleged family dispute on a private plane. The highly publicized split turned contentious fast, with both parties battling over custody of their six children and details of their multimillion-dollar estate. A settlement was only finalized in December 2024. They are still set to face off in court later this year regarding the sale of their French vineyard, Château Miraval.
Step 4: Control the narrative
Now, it's time to shift gears and focus on managing the media firestorm. The first wave of attention can make or break how the public perceives the breakup, all of my sources tell me. The friendly celebrity divorce seems to be a rarity. Schmidt says shaping the story requires not just timing, but a sharp awareness of what information is shared and how it's presented.
"Publicists are trained for both foresight and fast pivots," Schmidt says. "Once the news breaks, it's about controlling the first wave of media requests, aligning with legal on what cannot be said and monitoring sentiment minute by minute. The public forms opinions fast, especially on social media, so one misstep or disingenuous phrase, tone or look can spiral into another whole news cycle."
In some cases, the other side may plant stories to their own trusted press list. "We prepare an internal outline about how to handle potential misinformation or backlash across platforms," Schmidt says.
Chemtob urges her clients to keep their circle small.
"I basically say that they can only have two best friends. And they have to tell me who those two best friends are, and they can't talk to anyone else," she says.
This is such a crucial strategy because it underscores the immense pressure a celebrity faces during a divorce. In an era where any tidbit can end up on an anonymous gossip blog, confidentiality becomes more important than ever. Limiting the number of people involved in the process minimizes the risk of leaks or misinformation, essential for maintaining control over the narrative.
Chemtob also emphasizes how important it is for her to be aligned with the star's PR team in terms of press strategy. In some cases, that could mean knowing her client wants the attention.
"If my celebrity client wants privacy, they should get the privacy. But on the other hand, there are a lot of times in divorces that it's so salacious that people don't want the privacy. They want to show the world how they've been harmed," she says.
Step 5: Prepare for curveballs
One of Schmidt's most complicated cases involved a celebrity divorce where both parties were represented by the same publicity firm while simultaneously launching "a major co-branded product."
'In that particular case, we had to completely rework months of messaging, media planning and brand positioning to authentically reflect the new reality without losing momentum or breaking contractual agreements with the brand who had already invested significantly in the launch," Schmidt explains. 'You're not just managing a statement; you're managing perception, timing and often millions of dollars in brand risk.'
Even once the dust settles, the work isn't over. When the headlines start to fade, there are still challenges.
On the legal side, Chemtob says, the landscape can be just as complicated when children or complex financial assets are involved and a prenuptial agreement doesn't cover it all.
Step 6: Rebuild
Celebrity divorces rarely remain in the rearview mirror. The public continues to watch, and how a star handles the aftermath can affect their career, moving forward.
Affleck, for example, handled things masterfully after his Aug. 2024 split from Lopez. He kept a low profile, focused on his work, and when it was time for his first big press tour in March 2025, he gave relatable quotes about parenting and personal growth, subtly shifting the narrative. Maintaining there was 'no scandal, no soap opera, no intrigue' behind their breakup, he further emphasized that by bringing her kids to his premiere of The Accountant 2.
Then there is the blueprint of an amicable split, laid out by Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's 2014 'conscious uncoupling.' Their divorce was framed as a model of modern co-parenting, focusing on mutual respect and understanding. This approach allowed them to remain on good terms publicly and professionally, mitigating the tabloid circus that often follows a breakup.
"The biggest misconception is that we're spinning fiction,' Schmidt says. 'In reality, we're protecting truth, privacy and long-term reputation. Divorce is personal, but in Hollywood, it's also public. How it's handled can define a legacy."
Solve the daily Crossword