Bella Ramsey admits they 'don't have access to femininity' and it 'doesn't serve their purpose' despite sharing regrets over coming out as non-binary

Daily Mail​

05-05-2025

Bella Ramsey has admitted 'they don't feel they have access to feminity,' despite previously sharing how they regret coming out as non-binary.
The Last Of Us star, 21, revealed in 2023 that they are genderfluid and use they/them pronouns, admitting 'being gendered isn't something that I particularly like'.
Speaking on The Louis Theroux Podcast, Bella shared that the idea of femininity 'doesn't serve their purpose,' which partially led them to come out as non-binary.
Explaining why they chose to identify as genderfluid, Bella explained: 'I never thought about pronouns really until season one of The Last of Us was coming out.
'Suddenly I had to choose what pronoun I wanted people to write about me with. I was so stressed out about it because I didn't know, and I didn't really care. But I found the whole thing quite stressful still.
'There was a thing on Last of Us this season, it was a question again of, on set what should people refer to me by?
'And I just said, my thing at the moment is call me how you see me. I'm so aware that I get into a taxi and the taxi guy's gonna call me 'she'.
'It's just a natural thing that happens in your brain... which I completely get. I've never been strict about 'they/them', because I think I just don't really care.
'Also, I'm very comfortable in who I am. I know how important it is for other people, but for me it's not as important right now.'
Bella went onto tell Louis that they 'never really felt female,' and in recent years has been looking into the idea of femininity.
They said: 'This is where I've been looking into this a lot recently. I've tried to do a lot of research from both sides.
'I've been watching a lot of gender critical researchers and people talking about the opposite end of the spectrum, being transgender doesn't exist.
'And I've been trying my own journey, I guess, understanding what it actually is. Because there's been a lot of times I'm like, what even is the neurology of, or the psychology of being non-binary.
'I rejected that word for so long by the way, because I didn't want it to be trendy. It's been very obvious since I was young.
'I always called myself a tomboy, but it wasn't that I was a boyish girl, I was always like a bit of an in-between. Leaning most of the boys side. To be honest, I grew up more as a little boy than I did a little girl.
'I always felt more masculine or more on that side of the spectrum. I guess at the moment I don't feel like I have access to femininity.
'I think when I'm trying to avoid being perceived as a woman in my everyday life, the idea of me exploring femininity in any way feels like, that doesn't serve my purpose.
'You know what I mean? I feel a bit like sad about that sometimes, but I think it's also a journey.'
As Louis noted that they said they 'felt sad' about it, Bella added: 'Like the idea of femininity being something that I think is so beautiful, but me not feeling like I have any access to it at the moment.
'But within a masculine mould, you know how there's more feminine guys, the whole Harry Style's wearing a dress.
'That's what it is. It's femininity within the structure of masculinity, I suppose. I don't know. I feel like it's now just words that don't mean anything.'
In an interview last month, Bella shared that 'part of them regrets coming out as non-binary,' after seeing the reaction to the news.
Two years on from the announcement, Bella confessed they are in two minds about coming out, admitting the reaction has been a 'mixed bag'.
Speaking to The Observer, Bella confessed: 'Part of me looks back and I wish that I didn't, because I didn't want it to become a headline and a big thing.
'And obviously it was going to, and I didn't really understand that at the time. And I wasn't really prepared for that. But on the other hand, people have said to me that it's been very helpful for them seeing some representation.
'So it's been a mixed bag, but overall, I think it was a good thing, just for me living more freely, without feeling like I'm keeping a secret'.
Bella went on to note that while they are happy to talk about their gender identity they don't want it to 'be the focus', and they just want everyone to be 'chill' about it.
The British actor, who shot to fame on Game Of Thrones as Lyanna Mormont, told the New York Times that she found it 'exciting' when she was referred to as 'he.'
She said: 'I guess my gender has always been very fluid. Someone would call me she or her and I wouldn't think about it, but I knew that if someone called me he it was a bit exciting.'
The star said she ticks 'non-binary' if it is an option on a form, before adding: 'I'm very much just a person.
'Being gendered isn't something that I particularly like, but in terms of pronouns, I really couldn't care less.'
Last month, Bella admitted it's been tough to 'still figure things out' when it comes to their gender identity when they don't have the 'privilege' of exploring their identity in private.
They told Vogue: 'Part of the job of being an actor is that you're supposed to have an answer to every question that people ask you. But actually the answer can be: "I don't know and I'm not ready to talk about that"'.
Bella continued: 'If I did want to explore other things, like facets of my gender identity, that would be done publicly'.
'As much as I would try and keep it private, if someone recognises me on the street, say if I'm presenting differently, [and] takes a photo, then that is just talked about'.
Bella wore a chest binder '90 per cent' of the time filming The Last Of Us, which takes place during a global pandemic that has transformed the infected into zombie-like creatures.
Elsewhere in the chat, Bella revealed they were diagnosed with autism during the first season of the HBO series, which filmed from June 2021 until July 2022.
While they'd previously spoken about their neurodivergence, but for 'some reason didn't want to' share their official diagnosis before now.
Bella, who plays Ellie in the post apocalyptic drama, said: 'I got diagnosed with autism when I was filming season one of The Last of Us'.
Autism is a lifelong developmental disability that affects how people perceive the world and interact with others.
They told the publication: '[The diagnosis was] Freeing, it enables me to walk through the world with more grace towards myself about not being able to do the easy everyday tasks that everyone else seems to be able to do.'
'The label of being autistic has been so helpful to me because that's helped me to understand myself, but gender and sexuality-wise, labels do not feel comfy for me in any capacity, because I feel like I'm putting myself into a box. I feel trapped'.
Bella also spoke about their gender identity with her co-star Pedro Pascal, whose sibling Lux is a trans woman.
They said: 'They weren't always deep [conversations] they could be funny and humorous, the whole spectrum. We were just very honest and open with each other.'
The Louis Theroux Podcast is available on Spotify and all podcast platforms.