Julia Stiles reveals her secret struggle with disordered eating after industry pressures left her worried about weight gain
The 10 Things I Hate About You star, 44, who has three children with her husband Preston Cook, adds that only since becoming a mother did she start to heal her relationship with food - and herself.
'In my twenties and early thirties, being an actress, there was so much focus on your appearance and how you're going to fit into certain clothes,' she said.
'I'm not the first person to say this - and even coming from a mother who never emphasised those things - food and all that stuff was so stressful.'
Speaking on the latest episode of How to Fail With Elizabeth Day, Julia explained: 'I couldn't help but have a disordered relationship with it all.'
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She added: 'I'm not talking about an eating disorder - it was just restrictive, regimented, stressful. I always worried that it was going to be out of my control. Like, what if I gain weight?
'There was stress around what your body looks like and trying to mould your body into a certain size.
'As an actress, we go and promote on a red carpet, and we have to wear sample sizes from fashion designers. So it's always, "Are we going to fit into the sample size?"'
Julia added that she was once given useful advice from fellow actress Julia Roberts, 57, while they were filming the 2003 movie, Mona Lisa Smile.
'She was an amazing example for us, and she was so maternal with all the young women on that set. She was coming from a lot of experience of being not just a woman, but also a woman where your appearance is focused on so heavily.
'She said to us, "You're going to look back on these photos of you in your twenties and be like, I was beautiful - why didn't I see that?" And she's totally right!'
Julia now has three children - Strummer, seven, Arlo, three, and Henry, two - with her husband Preston, a camera assistant whom she met on the set of Blackway. They married in 2017 after a two-year engagement.
'I think my relationship with my body and food and diet and exercise and my appearance radically changed when I had kids,' she continued.
Speaking on the latest episode of How to Fail With Elizabeth Day , Julia explained: 'As an actress we have to wear sample sizes. So it's always, "Are we going to fit into it"' (pictured in February 2025)
Julia added: 'Being pregnant, nourishing a baby, growing a baby, all that stuff - and then also directing a movie, which is similar to having a baby in some ways - creatively and spiritually.
'When I decided I wanted to have kids, I started looking at things differently: I need this machine to work, so I need to fuel my body and I need to nourish it and I need to fuel this baby and nourish it. And everything just fell into place. I relaxed.
'I naturally wanted to eat the things that were going to make me feel better and help me grow. It all just became easier.
'And having a baby - three babies now - I'm like, woah, my body can do magical, wonderful, amazing things. And when I relaxed and I started to trust it more, everything fell into place. It's doing totally what it's supposed to do.'
She has just directed her first feature film, Wish You Were Here, which she says also helped transform her attitude to diet and her body.
'It was the first time I was on a film set - seeing cameras, grips and electrics, hair, makeup, and the costume department - and I wasn't stressed about the snack table,' she said.
'With directing, I'm not focused on every little detail of my appearance. I'm focused outward on the task at hand. So I don't have time to think about all the imperfections.
'I actually need to fuel my body so that I can get through the 15-hour workday... If I have the afternoon to get through and I'm losing energy, I'm going to have some M&M's and I don't care. Or I need this egg sandwich in the morning because I need my brain to focus and I need energy.'
Declaring her past body image issues 'a waste of f***ing time', Julia added that, sadly, she believes a lot of women silently struggle with similar problems.
'I've moved on,' she said. 'I've learned to be kinder in the way I think about my body and look at my body - to be kinder to myself but also trust your body... When I got pregnant, had children - even going into labour - trusting my body that it would know what to do just changed everything on a cellular level. And the same thing with directing a movie.
'I would be running on fumes, like, no sleep having just had a five-month-old baby. I didn't have time to think about, am I going to get back in shape to fit into those sample sizes?'
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