Women Are Sharing The Things Guys Flex To Appear "More Masculine" That Actually Have The Complete Opposite Effect

Yahoo

02-07-2025

Few things are more painful than being stuck in a conversation with a man who thinks he's being smooth and charming, when really, he's just waving a giant red flag.
In the spirit of calling it like it is (and hopefully opening up a little dialogue along the way), here are 19 things women say men flex to "appear masculine" that actually have the opposite effect, whether it be harmful, cringey, or just plain not cute:
1."Refusing to wear sunscreen — like, you're not tougher than the sun and you'll age like a raisin."
—Wild_Cauliflower_970
2."Had a guy flex that he worked as an HVAC on roofs and decided he didn't need any water on the two hottest days of the year last year, and then ended up in the hospital. THEN he tried to flex, not sleeping, and I'm just sitting there like, of ALL the things to flex on, you chose those two, and you are fully aware I'm a nurse?? What??"
—theblackcanaryyy
3."Bragging about 'being alpha.'"
—HurricaneDrill213
"You say 'Alpha Male.' We hear 'Deactivate Vagina.'"
—RaptureInRed
4."Walking with their arms bowed out. No, Carl, that doesn't make your muscles look bigger. A literal flex, I suppose."
—Ilovethe90sforreal
5."Bragging (usually lying and making up stories) about how they have so much money, women, power, and how strong they are. No, I do not want to hear about how you can get any woman you want and beat up any man if they look at you funny. You're not cool; you're an insecure moron."
—_allycat
6."Aggression repulses me, even the small things like puffing their chest out or shouting at someone who bumped into them accidentally, huge ick, and sometimes it feels like a lot of men do it intentionally because they have a female audience."
—Leolou6
7."Talking about how easily they could 'fuck someone up' to show us you're a protector. All it says is that you 1) probably can't and 2) are the kind of dumbass who will unnecessarily escalate situations. A 'protector' carries themself in such a way as to never make talking it necessary and is also intelligent enough to get out of the situation before violence becomes necessary."
—whitezhang
8."Flexing with your car like revving the engine or driving too fast."
—decensum8thhouse
9."When they're obsessed with their fast cars or lifted trucks. Please stop taking photos with your car for your dating profile 🙏."
—spookycamphero
10."Not sure if it's a flex, but guys that boldly say they don't change their baby's diapers, specifically if it's a poopy diaper. These are the same guys that brag they'd die for their family, but they'll let an infant sit in crap all day until their wife changes the diaper for them. There's nothing masculine about being afraid to help your own child."
—piper33245
11."Not knowing how to do basic tasks like cooking or cleaning. You don't look like a masculine alpha; you look like a dependent child."
—Agitated-Cup-2657
12."Acting like they have no emotions."
—No-Sandwich1511
13."Acting like you're less of a man if you dress nicely and fix your hair and overall appearance."
—WintertheName
14."Refusing to do anything that they think is girly or gay makes a guy look insecure and weak, and so much less masculine than if they just did the thing. Things that make a dude look good: rocking the pink shirt, letting a niece/daughter paint your nails, liking cats, cooking/cleaning/doing laundry like it's no big deal, decorating a living space like an adult, unapologetically liking girl music or movies too, buying tampons for your partner or sister, holding a purse when asked, being involved in daughter's activities as well as son's..."
—rinky79
15."Acknowledging their own body count as if it's a badge of honor. Makes no difference if you slept with 100 women. You just look like an asshole with no respect for who gave you their time."
—BowlApprehensive6093
16."When they claim to be players. That's embarrassing."
—Ambitious-Comb-1731
17."Talking nonstop about their gym gains but forgetting that being humble and kind is way more attractive."
—kiradabaddie
18."1) Not taking care of your skin — moisturizer, sunscreen, washing/exfoliating daily/as needed. 2) Saying, 'I don't read' not because they can't, just pure unwillingness to read/listen to books, articles, anything, basically being willfully ignorant. 3) Refusing to be seen as soft/vulnerable/emotional. For example, not holding hands, refusing to kiss or hug, ignoring their girl in favor of being with the bros, and being seen as 'tough.' Hiding/forcing down emotions, even when they'd be expected and accepted (like crying at a funeral, jumping at a haunted house, or being excited to pet a puppy)."
—elisespeaces
And lastly, as for what does make men attractive...basically, the exact opposite of what some guys try to project:
19."Kind of the opposite...but one of the sexiest things about my husband is that he's quietly calm and confident. Like this man is unshakeable. He's never jealous. He's never boastful or aggressive. It's honestly so hot. So I suppose to answer your question: boastful, aggressive, jealous men reek of low self-esteem/low confidence, and it's not only a huge red flag, it's a gigantic turn-off. Nothing will make me outright laugh and think of a guy as a 'poor little man' than those traits."
—canconfirmamrug
Got any others to add? Drop 'em down below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.