Parents asked whether teens should be allowed to go on holiday alone with mates
The question of when teenagers are ready to jet off on holiday without their parents is a hot topic amongst anxious mums and dads, worried about everything from excessive boozing to getting too much sun.
It's not simply about age; it's about how responsible the teenager is, according to Justine Roberts, Mumsnet founder and CEO: "For Mumsnet users, whether or not a teen is ready to go on holiday without their parents has less to do with age and more to do with how responsible they are."
Many parents look for signs like being able to whip up a meal, manage their time, take care of finances, and make sound judgements, particularly regarding alcohol, she adds.
The right time for a solo trip could be 17 or 18, according to parents contributing on the parenting site, though some think 16 might work in certain cases: "Most parents seem to agree that 17 or 18 is about the right age for a first trip with friends. Some think 16 is okay in certain situations – especially if the teen is very mature and going with a sensible older group – but the general consensus is that 17 is the preferred minimum."
When do you think the right age is for a teenager to go on holiday solo? Enter our poll or comment below.
The added bonus of turning 18 is, as Roberts notes, the ease of fewer legal and practical hurdles in travel.
On the other hand, Matt Buttery, chief at Triple P UK & Ireland parenting programme, insists family circumstances can vary hugely, emphasizing: "There isn't a one-size-fits-all answer for when parents should allow their teenagers to go on holiday without them.
"Parents should consider not only their teenager's age but also their maturity and ability to handle responsibility in everyday life."
Tanith Carey, author of 'What's My Teenager Thinking?' advises: "Instead of seeing their upcoming getaway as a painful period of endless worrying for you, think about what they'll learn about themselves, and the memories they'll make,".
"The fact is, they're probably at no more risk of serious accidents abroad than they are at home, and they probably won't get up to much more than they would at the average teenage party or on a night out in a city centre in the UK."
Despite the potential positives, the concern parents feel over their child's first separate holiday remains real.
Fear not - there are still practical steps parents can take to ensure peace of mind:
1. Agree communication methods.
Buttery reveals that having ground rules for keeping in touch can help reassure parents once they've consented to their teen's solo adventure. "If parents feel their teen is ready, what matters most is clear, open, and honest communication," Buttery asserts.
"It's essential to discuss expectations, set boundaries, and agree on communication methods while they're away. This isn't about controlling their every move, but helping them feel confident and safe during their time apart."
However, Carey cautions parents to keep contact minimal, suggesting a family WhatsApp group might suffice. "Try to avoid insisting they repeatedly check in with you, which will send the message you don't think they can do it alone," she notes.
"You're likely to hear more from them if you don't interrogate or send loads of questions about what they're doing."
2. Help them organise
Parents may find it beneficial to collaborate with their offspring in planning their travels (if the youngsters are amenable), Buttery suggests. "This helps you stay informed about their plans, and gives you a chance to spend time together too," he explains.
"It can also allow parents to make clear to their children the laws and travel guidance of the location they're visiting."
Carey recommends that, whether involved in the holiday preparations or not, parents should express optimism as their teens lay out their plans. "Quietly show your interest in a way that demonstrates you have faith they're ready to go it alone, rather than sending the implied message that they can't do this without you, which is likely to make them more anxious or secretive about what they really get up to on the holiday.
"If you're positive, they're more likely to involve you in their planning, and you'll feel more reassured they're safe when they're away."
3. Share your wisdom
Carey suggests that if your teen asks for travel tips, share the lessons you've learned from your own travels, including the reasonable precautions you've taken, like buying travel insurance, copying important documents, and noting emergency contacts.
"Get them to do a bit of research or check out some YouTube travel guides, as well as information on common tourist scams in that country," she advises. "It could help head off any nasty surprises."
4. Use tech
Roberts says that as well as the basics like avoiding areas known for pickpocketing or where drink spiking is a concern, many parents take advantage of tech like location-sharing apps. "They can keep an eye on teens without having to constantly hassle them," she says.
"In many cases they also set up group chats with other parents to share any news, as well as seek reassurance."
Rather than bombastically saying 'Don't do this, don't do that,' Carey advises parents to focus on safety in the third person, for example by saying avoiding things such as mixing alcohol and heights like hotel balconies is something we all need to do, regardless of age.
"Your teen may want their independence, but they don't want to end up in a foreign hospital either," she points out.
5. Urge them to buddy up
Mumsnet's Roberts recommends advising young holidaymakers to use a 'buddy system' so that they're never alone, which can help prevent any one of them from ending up in risky situations.
Moreover, at around 17 years old, youngsters may not be as susceptible to peer pressure as they once were, but it's still a threat that needs to be addressed according to Carey. "They're still capable of spurring each other on to drink too much and copy risky behaviour," she cautions.
She encourages parents to help their children reflect on previous experiences where following along with friends made them uncomfortable and to trust their instincts.
Carey also unveils strategies for teenagers to resist peer pressure by offering ways to say no, with examples like 'I don't feel like it,', 'No, I'm not into it,' or 'I don't want to do anything that could affect the rest of our holiday. '.
Finally, Roberts emphasises the desire of every parent: "More than anything, parents want to feel confident that their teen will stick to agreed rules, stay in contact and be (relatively) sensible."
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