The one thing Kemi Badenoch can't live without

Telegraph

21-03-2025

Kemi Badenoch might dismiss Nigel Farage as a reality TV star, but she has no plans to follow him into the jungle. 'Never,' she told me on GB News. ' Love Island?' I asked. 'No... I'm an engineer. I'm not an actress. I don't want to be on TV while people watch me eat horrible things. It's not for me.' How about a luxury for Desert Island Discs, I asked. 'You've caught me off guard there,' she said. 'Probably my Netflix subscription.'
Sound effects
Archers chronicler Julie Beckett has lifted the lid on one of the Radio 4 soap's steamiest moments: the shower sex scene between Sid Perks, the landlord of The Bull pub, and country and western singer Jolene Rogers, 25 years ago, later described by Sue Townsend's Adrian Mole as sounding 'like two warthogs mating'.
Beckett, who directed the scene and has written a book Archers Unseen on the long running BBC drama, told The Archers' Podcast that a special shower cubicle was built in the studio. She continued: 'Jolene washed Sid's back in the shower, so in the shower cubicle with them was a third person for the entirety of the scene, slapping on the shower gel and making sure it all sounded authentic. It was hilarious and wonderful. And no sex happened at all.'
Just two Radio 4 listeners complained. And Sid and Jolene didn't even need an intimacy co-ordinator.
Mickey Mouse book
As a new woke version of Snow White opens, A N Wilson, biographer of Queen Victoria, Charles Darwin and Adolf Hitler, has been signed up to write Walt Disney's life story.
'It is top secret and a big bucks deal,' he revealed at The Oldie magazine's literary lunch. 'I can't even say who commissioned it, but it will take five years,' he added. Wilson is promising a 'warts and all' account and has even tracked down Disney's descendants in Gloucestershire.
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work he goes.
Sausage success
Former Tory MP Sir Philip Davies told a party at the Royal Overseas League to celebrate his knighthood that he owes his political career to sausages. Applying to be an election candidate for Shipley 25 years ago, when he worked as an Asda customer relations manager, he told the selection panel of a customer who claimed Asda was racist because it was selling 'thick Irish sausages'. He added: 'The customer isn't always right, you know.'
While the story made the panel laugh, Davies was not selected. Undeterred Davies tried again ahead of the 2005 general election. As he walked into the interview room, he heard an association elder whisper: 'It's the Irish sausages man!' He was selected, elected, and served 19 years as Shipley's splendidly outspoken MP.
Awks Jason!
Refreshingly honest Harry Potter actor Jason Isaacs has been sharing embarrassing encounters with other stars. 'I sat next to Jeff Goldblum at a wedding. My very first job was with Jeff on The Tall Guy. I reminded him of that and he went 'Is that my fork?' and then didn't speak to me again,' he told Rob Brydon's podcast.
Backstage on a chat show Isaacs bumped into musician Chris Isaak. He said: 'How are you doing? My name is Jason Isaacs and people are always asking if we are related.' Isaak replied: 'I'm tuning my guitar.'' And that was it.
We got there first
Donald Trump's idea to scrap the US Department of Education is not new: fictional PM Jim Hacker considered axing the Department for Education in an episode of Yes, Prime Minister, 40 years ago, and replacing it with a National Education Service. He wondered what his top civil servant Sir Humphrey Appleby would say. His political adviser Dorothy Wainwright said she wanted to be there. 'To witness the clash between the political will and the administrative will?' asked Hacker. 'I think it will be a clash between the political will and the administrative won't,' replied Wainwright.
Farewell, Harry
Harry Burgess, long time security guard at Conservative Campaign Headquarters, has died after a short illness. No-nonsense Burgess, awarded the British Empire Medal by the King in January, 'was never happier than when he was having pie and mash in Clacton,' according to one colleague. He treated the prime ministers and cleaners the same. The staffer added: 'When everyone else was getting dressed up because the PM was arriving, he'd just shrug. Andrea Leadsom once turned up when she was at the height of her power and he was like, 'And who are you then, love?''
Peterborough, published every Friday at 7pm, is edited by Christopher Hope. You can reach him at [e-mail]