
86% Of Employees Say Remote Work Fuels Office Romances, New Study
The viral "kiss-cam" incident of Astronomer CEO and his HR Chief at the Coldplay concert, has catapulted the evolving, often complex, dynamics of romance in today's professional landscape into the public spotlight. The firestorm indicates a need for public discussions of office romances that have, for the most part, been lacking. Plus, the incident reflects how technology and remote work are reshaping office romances, removing physical boundaries, opening the door to emotional connections and underscoring a dire need for well-defined company policies on office romances.
Office Romances: Cupid In The Workplace
Employees spend so much of time at the office, communicating and working with colleagues that it's only natural for office romances to occur. When clear company policies are absent, office romances, especially between a supervisor and an employee, raise concerns about the potential impact on fairness and company culture, especially when an HR leader is involved.
According to a study I reported on for Forbes.com a few years ago, HR personnel dated coworkers at a higher rate than any other department. Blind's 'Workplace Romance in America' survey of 8,784 employees from some of the country's most prominent companies, revealed that 42% of HR personnel had dated coworkers at some point, and nearly eight percent were currently dating coworkers.
Employees (39%) in the Marketing and Communications department confessed to dating coworkers, and 36% working in Sales, Service and Support departments said they dated coworkers. Companies with the highest rate of employees dating one another were ExxonMobil (14%), StubHub (13%) and DigitalOcean (11%).
Earlier this year, SHRM Thought Leadership surveyed 1,071 U.S. workers and 2,283 HR personnel and found that 52% of U.S. workers are currently or have been in a workplace romance. And some of those employees admit that they engage in public displays of affection during the romance, despite knowing it's inappropriate.
Another study this year, Zety's Modern Workplace Romance Report of over 1,000 U.S. employees, found an even higher incidence of office romances than the SHRM research. Zety's findings show that 79% of employees admit they've had a long-term workplace romance, and 15% say they have had more than one.
A total of 41% admit their most recent romantic partner is a supervisor or manager, mirroring the 'kiss-cam' story. A notable 91% admit to using flirting or charm to advance their career or gain favoritism. And 69% admit to receiving inappropriate perks from workplace relationships.
The Zety study focuses more on the link between remote work and office romances than previous studies. The results show 51% frequently notice romantic tension or flirtatious behavior between colleagues during virtual meetings. An additional 62% have initiated a romantic or flirtatious message to a colleague via a remote work platform (like Slack, Teams or email), 27% have received this type of message and six percent experienced both. Another 71% know a colleague who has used a dating app to initiate workplace romances, and 26% are aware of multiple colleagues who have done so.
Why Remote Work Fuels Office Romances
With the rise in remote work, it would seem that the physical separation would reduce the numbers of office romances, but the opposite is true. I spoke with Zety career expert, Toni Frana, about why remote work is changing the way we navigate office romances, and she shared five reasons with me.
Frana told me that while remote work limits physical barriers, it opens up a set of emotional connections, in fact, possibly even accelerating intimacy. 'Zety's survey found that 86% of employees believe remote work makes it easier to form romantic connections,' she says. 'Virtual meetings create windows into people's lives. Coworkers may see your living room, pets and even your casual dress for work. These glimpses into the personal side of a coworker can build bonds that wouldn't ordinarily be built in an office environment.'
Frana responds to the finding that more than half (51%) of employees in the Zety survey frequently notice flirtatious behavior during virtual meetings. 'The absence of traditional oversight, combined with the informality of remote communication (think emojis, after hours Slack messages and Zoom banter), creates more opportunities for boundaries to be crossed whether it's intentional or not.'
In fact, she points out that differential power dynamics may be harder to detect, citing that 41% of respondents confess their most recent workplace romance was with a supervisor or manager. 'When hierarchical relationships play out behind screens, the risks of favoritism and ethical breaches increase,' she states. 'It's even more concerning when HR professionals are involved, because they are the ones tasked with upholding workplace policies and should not be operating in gray areas.'
"Transparency and accountability are crucial, especially in cases involving leadership," Frana explains. 'Nearly seven in 10 employees (69%) have witnessed inappropriate perks tied to workplace relationships, and 91% admit to flirting for career advancement or favoritism. When employees see double standards or rule-bending, it erodes morale and breeds distrust, both in people and in company culture.'
Frana stresses the importance for clearly-defines and enforceable rules around workplace relationships, especially those involving power imbalances. 'Policies should address virtual behavior, outline reporting protocols and avoid one-size-fits-all language that doesn't reflect how today's workforce actually communicates' she asserts. 'Remote work could complicate oversight, so clear, direct communication around any rules or policies is a crucial step in making sure employees are on the same page when it comes to the rules of office romance.'
A Final Wrap On Office Romances
Office romances without official boundaries fuel gossip, and office gossip creates a toxic culture. 'Gossip isn't just irritating,' says Eva Chan, lead career expert at Resume Genius, 'it can tear down team morale and trust. Employees want environments where they feel respected, and when gossip spreads, it's a sign that something bigger is off in the workplace culture.'
No one is powerful enough to stop Cupid in his tracks when love is in the air--or even on Slack. The digital age has, in many ways, complicated an already common and complex situation. But it's obvious from the experts that clear, structured and well-defined company policies must be in place that allow office romances within agreed-upon guidelines.
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