Let us count the 3,515 ways in which Democrats are lame

Washington Post

2 days ago

Everybody has advice for the Democrats. Especially Democrats.
Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz said over the weekend that it's time for Democrats 'to be a little meaner.'
Maryland Gov. Wes Moore, appearing at the same South Carolina event as Walz, said Democrats must 'become the party of 'yes' and 'now.''
Last week, former Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel told the Wall Street Journal that Democrats need to move to the center and stop being so 'toxic' and 'weak and woke.'
This followed former transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg's admonition that Democrats need to reach 'people who don't think like us,' strategist James Carville's instructions that Democrats stop using words such as 'equity' and oligarchy,' and Michigan Sen. Elissa Slotkin's assertion that the Democrats need to find 'alpha energy.'
Story continues below advertisement
Advertisement
Many in the punditocracy have joined the game, using the Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson book to say 'Democrats need to learn from the Biden cover-up fiasco' and 'Democrats need to take ownership of the fact that they totally screwed up on Biden.'
On Tuesday, Politico's Elena Schneider reported on the launch of a new Democratic think tank whose founder thinks Democrats 'need to break down ideological lanes and reject interest group agendas.'
With so many things they 'need' to do, the Democratic Party's to-do list is getting exceedingly long. How long? A Nexis search finds 3,515 instances of phrases demanding 'Democrats need to' and 'Democrats must' in news articles and transcripts over the past three months, and another 3,680 instances of the more lenient admonition 'Democrats should.' A search of the Factiva database also finds these phrases by the thousands.
There are apparently no contribution limits on free advice to the party. More of these helpful recommendations pour in every day from Democratic politicians, journalists, pundits, strategists, activists — and Fox News anchors, whose concern for the party's well-being is touching. Among the more compelling pieces of advice I came across:
Story continues below advertisement
Advertisement
'Democrats need to reconnect with 'young men' who just want to 'get laid and have fun.''
'Democrats need to mirror how a herd of elephants at the San Diego Zoo responded to a recent earthquake.'
'Democrats need to point out that Florida Republicans support tooth decay.'
'Democrats should try flag-shagging.'
'Democrats need to start asking the real question: Are you not entertained?'
With such a sound strategic plan, how could Democrats lose?
Ostensibly, Democrats are coming in for such constructive criticism because of the party's low standing in public esteem. Only 34.7 percent of Americans have a favorable view of the party, compared with 58.3 percent holding an unfavorable view, according the RealClear Polling average. Yet the Republican Party isn't doing much better, with a 42 percent favorable rating and 52.6 percent unfavorable. And Democrats are actually leading in the 'generic ballot' (if the election were held today, which party's candidate would you vote for?) even though the RCP average includes silly polls such as Trump's favorite, Rasmussen.
The real reason for the surfeit of why-Democrats-suck critiques is that Democrats themselves love to engage in anguished soul-searching. Republicans did an autopsy after their 2012 loss, summarily rejected all its recommendations and then won the next presidential election. But Democrats love self-loathing. As Semafor's Dave Weigel described it last week: '1) Dem focus groups say the party's brand is 'woke and weak.' 2) Rahm and Slotkin use high profile interviews to repeat the focus group findings. 3) Other Dems get asked why the party looks 'woke and weak.' This is peak message discipline.'
I don't pretend to know what Democrats ought to be doing. I've written before that the party's future direction, and its future leader, will be determined not by Washington hacks but by the voters in the 2028 primary process. Until then, the party's most important jobs are to stop Trump's assaults on the rule of law and limit the suffering caused by his sabotage of the federal government. The navel-gazing is a waste of time.
Story continues below advertisement
Advertisement
Therefore, as a public service, I have read through the Democrats-are-lame critiques so you don't have to. These are the highlights, culled from transcripts and news reports from the last month containing the phrase 'Democrats need to':
'Democrats need to fight President Donald Trump everywhere.'
'Democrats need to work with President Donald Trump, not against him.'
'Democrats need to rail against Mr. Trump, Elon Musk and the billionaire class.'
'Democrats need to look to Donald Trump as an example.'
'Democrats need to embrace males with affection.'
'Democrats need to mansplain to men.'
'Democrats need to shore up their identity.'
'Democrats need to make sure they ditch the identity politics.'
'Democrats need to energize their base voters.'
'Democrats need to move to the middle.'
'Democrats need to build a broader coalition of groups.'
'Democrats need to persuade nonvoters.'
'Democrats need to be fearless.'
'Democrats need to be careful.'
'Democrats need to encourage more debate within their ranks, not less.'
'Democrats need to sort out infighting — and quickly.'
Story continues below advertisement
Advertisement
'Democrats need to fight more.'
'Democrats need to engage in deep introspection.'
'Democrats need to be forward-looking.'
'Democrats need to perform an autopsy.'
'Democrats need to listen to the voters.'
'Democrats need to have a frank conversation — with themselves.'
'Democrats need to develop an appealing economic message.'
'Democrats need to prioritize public safety.'
'Democrats need to offer solutions to our immigration challenges.'
'Democrats need to resolve organizational problems.'
'Democrats need to stop dithering about process and rules.'
'Democrats need to take control from the left wing elements of the party.'
'Democrats need to pay attention to the way Ocasio-Cortez … continues to be able to speak to so many millions of people.'
'Democrats need to jazz up their messaging — and fast.'
'Old Democrats need to quit — now.'
Story continues below advertisement
Advertisement
In summary, Democrats don't attack Trump enough, except in cases where they attack him too much. They are too cautious and timid, unless they are too aggressive. They are too woke, while at the same time too centrist. There is too much bickering within the party, or not enough. They have the wrong policies, or perhaps it's the wrong message, or maybe the wrong leaders. Furthermore, Democrats need to
'build,'
'regroup,'
'go on the offensive,'
'find plausible candidates,'
'sound less judgmental,'
'rethink the words they use,'
'take a 'specific and granular' approach,'
'be ruthless,'
'expand the map,'
'break out of information silos,'
'nominate someone who is 'more mainstream,''
'regain credibility,'
'aggressively rethink their future,'
and
'change course.'
Just to name a few.
Whatever the problem actually is, Democrats are sure to figure it out. They just need to spend even more time navel-gazing:
'Democrats need to do some real soul-searching'
and
'Democrats need to be particularly rigorous and introspective about why they are so unpopular.'
Alternatively, they could pack it in with the introspection — and go out and win an election.