No screens, no screams: Here's how modern moms are ‘restaurant training' their kids to crush their zombie tablet behavior

Yahoo

6 days ago

When it comes to NYC dining, mom Jamie Boxer doesn't kid around.
The Brooklynite is one in the expanding pack of parents proudly 'restaurant training' their tykes to eat, drink, be merry and behave in public spaces — strictly sans digital distractions or temper tantrums.
'I love New York City dining. We have some of the best food in the world, and I want my kids to join me in that love,' Boxer, 36, of Williamsburg, told The Post.
'If kids learn how to enjoy an outing without screens at early ages, they'll know how to talk and connect in-person as they get older,' explained Boxer, a speech pathologist and co-content creator of @Table4Tots, a review of Gotham's kid-friendly grub hubs. 'That's the whole point of going out to eat.'
The millennial connoisseur of choice chow, a married mom of two under age 6, often brings her brood along when patronizing local hotspots like Lilia, or the swank Eataly eateries.
And far past city limits, other foodie mothers and fathers of Beta babies, Alphas and even younger Gen Zers are eating up the restaurant training trend, too.
From the U.S. to the UK and beyond, proactive parents are endeavoring to reverse the ills of the dreaded 'iPad Kid' curse.
It's a plague to preschoolers and up — youngsters who routinely spend countless hours staring at tablets and phones, without developing social, mental and emotional strengths.
Researchers recently deemed the high-tech codependence a 'deleterious' cycle that can trigger behavioral problems in children with excessive screen time privileges. It's a bone of contention that causes parents to spend approximately 96 hours fighting with their kids each year, per a recent survey.
More troubling, two-thirds (67%) of the adults polled fear they're missing 'precious moments' with their minis due to screen time addictions.
And those fleeting family memories are often made around the breakfast, lunch or dinner table.
Mariah Grumet Humbert, a Manhattan-based etiquette trainer, says moms and dads planning to ban iPads at mealtime — especially while dining out — should begin weaning kiddos off of gadgets at home.
'Etiquette isn't about being stuffy or fancy, it's about giving kids tools, not rules,' Humbert, of Old Soul Etiquette, told The Post. 'Play restaurant at home and make it fun.'
'Teach them to set the table so they understand the placement of things, place a napkin on their lap, sit properly at the table,' she continued. 'Talk about the common courtesies of conversation, using inside voices, making eye contact, speaking politely to the waitstaff and waiting to eat until everyone is served.'
'If they mess up, empower them,' urged Humbert, suggesting parents liken manners to magic. 'Gently remind them to use their table superpowers.'
Bronx mom Rosdaly Ramirez's three sons, ages 7 to 2, are bite-size etiquette superstars.
But they didn't start that way.
'We used to give our kids the phones so they'd sit still, but we realized the distractions were taking away from family time,' admitted Ramirez, 34, of her and hubby Ruben.
The duo relied on screens so much that technology became a 'babysitter' to their boys.
So, they unplugged their home TV and vetoed electronics at their nearby nosheries.
'Now, we talk and play games like eye-spy because it's interactive; it makes them pay attention to their surroundings and get to know the world around them,' the social worker said.
'The more exposure they have to the world, even at a restaurant, the better prepared they'll be to navigate it with confidence and self-awareness,' she added.
Danielle Currie agrees.
The Jacksonville, Florida-dwelling married mother of three — a 6-year-old daughter and 4-year-old twins — even gives her tots pre-dinner pep talks about restaurant etiquette before hitting Michelin-level hotspots.
'We'll have a little chat in the car, letting them know the behavior we expect,' said Currie, 32, a bridal boutique owner and critic of the gentle parenting movement — an overly permissive rearing style.
'Our kids behave way differently than kids with gentle parents. They're happy with boundaries.'
'We didn't grow up bringing iPads to dinner,' she added. 'We don't want that for our kids.'
The same goes for Ashley McCarley — the Alabama mama would rather her bunch be bored.
'Boredom forces them to get creative, engage in conversation, read the menu and order their own food,' said McCarley, 30, whose restaurant-trained trio, ages 11, 4 and 2, boasts sophisticated palates that prefer steak and crab legs over chicken fingers and fries.
'Creativity birthed out of boredom causes them to make up games that we can play as a family while we wait for our food,' she said, lauding restaurant training as her biggest parenting flex. 'They're learning life skills and spending quality time together versus staring at their individual iPads.'
Beyond U.S. borders in Toronto, mom Tory Halpin's pups — ages 5, 4, 2, and 4 months old — don't even know iPads exist.
'We want our kids to exist in a world without virtual entertainment, and we teach them that it's impolite to be on screens at dinner,' said the 33-year-old Canadian parenting influencer — admitting, however, that following her own rules can be challenging.
'It's hard not reaching for my phone at the table, but my husband and I are setting an example,' Halpin laughed. 'If the kids catch us, they say, 'That's not polite.''
Hannah Morgan, from London, began training her daughter Alma early — before she even said her first word.
'We took her to a restaurant at 10 days old,' said the momfluencer, 27. 'The first step in our training was to introduce her to noisy, busy places, with different people and smells, so she becomes comfortable in restaurant environments.'
And now that Alma's reached those terrible twos, she's the perfect pint-size patron at the British capital's upscale bistros, from Bardo St. James's to Gordon Ramsay restaurants.
'The best parenting advice I was given was, 'Make your baby slot into your life instead of slotting into theirs,'' said Morgan. 'My baby fits in at any restaurant, and people are always so impressed how well she behaves without [digital] distractions.'
Meanwhile, back in Midtown Manhattan, Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette, is cheering on the table trend — she's even launched a 'Mini Manners' series for tots under age 6, designed to teach children the do's and don'ts of public dining.
'Restaurant training kids gives parents their social lives back,' the protocol pro, a mom of two, told The Post. 'There's less stress and more fun without screens.'
Meier was happy to share her top 10 tips for restaurant training your tribe with Post readers — and here they are.
How to restaurant train your kids, according to an expert
Define 'restaurant etiquette' to kids as kindness and respect for others in a shared space
Praise kids for sitting properly, using napkins rather than their sleeves, at the table.
Show kids how to eat neatly on their plates and properly hold utensils, how to make meaningful eye contact during conversations and while ordering
Emphasize the importance of saying 'please' and 'thank you' at the table
Don't be afraid to bring newborns to restaurants; start training them early
Step outside for a quick breather if you're kid is having a tough time
For teens, reward their good etiquette by letting them choose the next restaurant or dessert spot
Kids are mimicking your behavior, so make sure to mind your restaurant manners.
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