‘Really Stupid Park': SF commuters use Great Highway park-naming contest to vent
SAN FRANCISCO (KRON) — Residents and commuters in San Francisco's Fourth District vented their frustrations with the permanent closure of a two-mile stretch of the Great Highway in March by submitting politically charged suggestions to San Francisco Recreation and Parks' 'Great Park Naming Contest.'
Records obtained by KRON4 show that citizens submitted nearly 4,300 suggestions to San Francisco Recreation and Parks' park-naming contest. Responses ranged from silly to crude to thoughtful.
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Of the thousands of entries, roughly 100 recommended some variation of 'Parky McParkface' — a reference to the United Kingdom's famous research vessel Boaty McBoatface. More than 100 other submissions criticized or supported District 4 Supervisor Joel Engardio, who played a major role in the park's creation.
In November, 54% of San Francisco voters approved Proposition K — an Engardio-backed ordinance, which permanently shuttered the segment of the Great Highway to establish a new public park. A majority of San Francisco residents in the Great Highway area, however, opposed the measure, citing traffic concerns.
The backlash from local residents and Great Highway commuters spurred a movement to recall Engardio. In December, Engardio issued a statement in response to District 4 voters' cries for a recall.
'Many of them have told me they didn't feel heard in their objection to it being on the ballot,' Engardio wrote. 'I take this feedback to heart because it's important to me that everyone is heard.'
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The frustrations of the citizens against Prop K were apparent in the names submitted to San Francisco Recreation and Parks — some of which are listed below. KRON4 has edited the list of submissions down to feature some popular, funny and meaningful responses. The new, still-unnamed park officially opens April 12.
Park Name
Reasoning for Proposed Name
Engardio's Folly
'He had the audacity to go against his constituents' wishes and won!'
Joel Engardio Park
'I typically do not like it when things are named after politicians, but I think this park should be an exception. I believe Joel was very instrumental in getting this park made and he sacrificed a lot of political capital to do and also had to stand up to a lot of verbal abuse.'
Recall Joel Engardio Park
'If Joel Engardio had not acted against the will of his constituents, this closure would never have happened.'
Engardio's End
'Supervisor Engardio betrayed his constituency by supporting this and now he faces recall for his treachery.'
Point of Contention Park
'Point of Contention Park is the perfect name for this 'park' as it was shoved down the throats of the citizens of San Francisco by uber-progressive loudmouths who insist on taking away every single road in the city, foot by foot and mile by mile, as part of their never-ending war on cars and roadway traffic, despite the fact cars remain the most popular and practical choice for most of the city's residents …'
The Joel Engardio Screw You District 4 Park
'Many parks, buildings, and other structures are name[d] after local politicians, as should this one.'
The Great Scamway or The deLUXe Scamway
'Saying we need a park where we already have one, and the false advertising that went with that, constitutes a great scam, by the Great scammer himself, Joel Engardio (and his sidekick, Lucas Lux)!'
Engardio ParK
'As supervisor for the Sunset, Joel Engardio believed in the potential of the Upper Great Highway being converted into a park. He may even lose his position as a result of this support. Either way, naming the park after the supervisor would be a stunning and brave decision by all San Franciscans. The upper case K is a nod to Proposition K, which paved the way for the park to be created.'
King Joel Park
'Joel Engardio screwed his own constituents by acting in secret without public meeting or input — or even letting us know his plans to put a proposition on the ballot that seriously impacted the lives and neighborhoods in the Outer Sunset. He acted like a king who rules without regard to his subjects.'
Deadly Sunset Streets Park
'Outer Sunset streets are more dangerous and crowded because of the closure of Great Highway — and Supe Engardio's lies, secrecy, and disregard of perspectives of his own constituents. Let's call this what it is.'
Benedict Engardio Park
'Recognizes how the West Side was betrayed by its supervisor.'
Engardio's Boondoggle
'D4 Supervisor performed political magic by convincing voters to turn a highway into a faux park that will get minimal use.'
Traffic Congestion Park
'Will clog up traffic real bad and only people living in the Richmond and sunset will pay a price.'
Joel Engardio is a Sellout Park
'Alternatives could be Bicycle Coalition Park, YIMBY Park, or The Neighborhood Didn't Want This Park.''
There's No Place to (Park)
'It's pretty freaking obvious if you live out here where it's already almost impossible to find a place to put your car let alone with additional visitors. But I am sure Joel Engardio must have some plan for that he just hasn't shared with us yet!'
Joel Engardio
'This is to honor Joel Engardio, the supervisor of district 4 of San Francisco, in case he is recalled by a group of people who don't accept the results of our democracy election. Joel is the victim of hatred of the prop K's opponents when the ballot result wasn't their favor.'
Joel P Engardio Great Highway Park
'It would be funny.'
Traitor Joel Expressway
'Because Joel along with all of you are traitors to the west side. This from a multi-generation sunset resident.'
Park Name
Reasoning for Proposed Name
This Is Stupid, Let's Not Do It
'I have to find another way to commute to work. So let's not close this road. Like my justification SF?'
Parky McParkface
'In the great culture and history of the Internet, this is the only appropriate name.'
Really Stupid Park
'It's a road!!!!'
Worst Park Ever
'It's a highway.'
Karl's Place
'Let's name it after Karl the Fog! The park's greenery will be sustained by Karl, I'm sure.'
Adios Cars
'True and multi-cultural.'
Bring a Jacket Park
'The fog sometimes comes in unexpectedly for people, it would be good to have a reminder.'
No One Who Lives Here Voted for This Park
'It seems like only people who live nowhere near the great highway want this to be a park and everyone who uses it or lives near it wants a road.'
Glide of The Tiddleywinks
The Great Detour Traffic Jam Gridlock Parkway
'Because that's what I expect to experience each time I travel from Daly City …'
Barren Stretch of Asphalt in the Service of the Idle Non-Working 'Park'
'The 'park' will still be paved. It was created by a city-wide referendum under misleading promotion, and only the far-off eastern neighborhoods voted for it, whereas the working communities actually next to it voted to keep things as is. The major use of the 'park' will be some guy from Noe Valley driving an SUV to it, parking, unloading his bicycle, and idling around for an hour before he packs up and drives home …'
The Tickler
'This park will tickle your sensations of joy and belonging, in an outside sense. Let's all get tickled at The Tickler.'
Shark Park
'Because I like the name.'
Hella
'Hella is a word that is as San Francisco as its Cable Cars. The new park is 'Hella big.' The new park is 'Hella fun …''
Nowhere To Park
'As a long-time San Francisco native, and someone who spent my early years driving on the great highway to go to ocean beach, drive to UCSF for endocrinology appointments, and enjoy coffee in the sunset, I feel like this name encapsulates a lot about what makes this area so great. People are proud to be in the sunset and around the (former) great highway, but still have the pride to critique things they still want to change about the city they love.'
Daddy's Little Park
'Daddy loves his parks.'
Skibbity Rizzler 9,000
'Build a park for the young folks, name a park for the young folks!'
The UGH for upper great highway!
'It's how quite a few of native San Francisco residents are feeling!'
Miso Soup
'Good soup.'
Gary
Danny Glover's Gettin' Too Old for This Park
'Honor the amazing SF bred Danny Glover, of course.'
Park Name
Reasoning for Proposed Name
Playland Park by the Beach
'Obviously, nothing is left to really remind of these times in the city's history, yet Playland must have been an immensely memorable place for so many San Franciscans. It is completely forgot unbelievable that there's nothing left on site informing those who don't know and haven't heard of it. A magical place. Forgotten. We need to hold on to our places' stories a little better. This would be a great way to do so …
The Great Parkway
'It's historically been known as The Great Highway. It's becoming a park. A parkway is defined as 'an open landscaped highway.' So calling it The Great Parkway reflects its history, it's existence as a park, and its definition.'
People's Park
'It's a space for people instead of cars and one that allows us all to enjoy the amazing western end of the city and edge of the continent. Especially in a time when people seem to matter less than data centers and rockets, this reminds us all that we're in charge.'
(The) Great Pacific Esplanade
'It's a nod to both JFK Promenade as inspiration and to Great Highway for being on the site previously. But Esplanade is a word that captures the human experience, retaking of the space for people, not cars. As a Midwest transplant, there is nothing more grand than strolling along the Pacific Ocean on a sunny afternoon. Strolling down San Francisco's Great Pacific Esplanade will feel all of that simultaneous grandeur and serenity.'
Yelamu Way
'This honors the Ohlone people who were here first, though all current SF residents are 'western people' as the word Yelamu confers. Way is a nod to the Great HighWAY. These two words together bring all of San Francisco's history forward, honoring the past by giving this land back to the people.'
Fogpatch Park
'The sunny side of the city has the Dogpatch. The west side should have the Fogpatch.'
Oceanview Park
'The name Oceanview Park would incorporate the existing landmark of Ocean Beach and remove any reference to highway as this evokes thoughts of vehicles and noise. Oceanview Park would set a picture in the mind of local San Franciscans and tourists alike as a place to view the Pacific Ocean and access Ocean Beach.'
Karl's Expanse
'Favorite place for Karl the Fog when he comes to town.'
Golden Sunsets Promenade
'This name describes how the park is used (promenade) and one of its biggest attributes (sunset viewing) and also incorporates the word golden (as in Golden State/Gate) and sunset (the neighborhood the park is in). It is a functional name that also markets the park well.'
Pickleweed and Snowy Plovers Park
'These precious sand dunes once covered most of the western expanse of San Francisco. All of us who live and work in The Outer Richmond, Richmond, and Sunset neighborhoods need only dig a few inches down in our yards to reach the built over sand dunes. These precious remaining dunes along Ocean Beach are the only remaining local natural habitat for the fragile ecosystem of the Snowy Plovers and the dunes are full of pink, white and yellow glossy floral bloom from both the Pickleweed and Ice plants that creep over the dunes — so gorgeous, and such a treasure.'
Golden Dunes Park
'Golden Dunes Park references the golden sands of Ocean Beach, the proximity to Golden Gate Park, the history of the Outside Lands region as miles of sand dunes, and the adjacent Sunset District's romantic name.The name Golden Dunes Park, somewhat romantic in itself, also evokes the transitional nature of the space between the powerful surf, golden sands, and the bustling city by the Golden Gate that we see today.'
Rainbow Park or Rainbow Park of the Great Highway
'San Francisco has always been a colorful city. People of all colors and walks of life give the city it's character. Rainbow park sounds like a fun and magical park that kids can easily pronounce …'
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