I love being a mom. Why do many progressives tear down motherhood?

USA Today

5 days ago

Much of mainstream media and many progressives are quick to bash motherhood and children as if the whole idea is backward, burdensome and beneath women in our supposedly enlightened age.
I love being a mom to my four kids. I can't imagine my life without them. But I've received criticism and even sinister messages from liberal readers who wished my children and me ill, because I'm a candid conservative and devoted mother.
One of the big cultural differences between the two political parties is how they talk about parenting and kids. Despite the fact that millions of women have made life choices similar to mine, progressives often refuse to accept and applaud the decision to raise a family. Many even resort to condemning motherhood, dehumanizing babies and portraying parenting as a negative experience.
In June, The New York Times opinion section published a video called "Motherhood Should Come With a Warning Label." Under the guise of discussing the financial and career penalties associated with motherhood, the video featured mothers complaining about the burden of children.
In 2023, on The Daily Show, comedian and outspoken liberal Chelsea Handler had a snarky response to allegedly being shamed for not being a mother by shaming mothers and their children: 'I've got news for everyone. Instead of shaming childless women for what we're doing to the country, you should be thanking us. We are saving society. … We have a lower carbon footprint. We're the reason there are fewer screaming children on airplanes, in movie theaters and restaurants.'
The audience erupted in applause.
The mainstream discourse that smears motherhood has emboldened moms to speak out with similar disdain. A Facebook group called "I regret having children" has 83,000 followers. A viral TikTok post from a mother about how much she regretted having a child has 1.7 million likes and more than 200,000 shares. Recently, the New York Post ran a column about an influencer who hates being a mom and has no problem advertising it.
I don't have a problem with talking about the difficulties of motherhood. Post-partum depression, feelings of isolation and the loss of income that mothers suffer (more so than fathers) are real and important issues.
But mainstream media and progressives are quick to bash motherhood and children as if the whole idea is backward, burdensome and beneath women in our supposedly enlightened age. They paint a negative picture of motherhood that isn't true and scares away younger women.
As a mom, I'm sick of it. Motherhood and parenting need a rebranding. And conservatives are up to the task.
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Actor Bob Odenkirk tapped into this recently when he joined actor Mike Birbiglia on his podcast "Working it out."
Birbiglia asked Odenkirk, "Who are you jealous of?" Odenkirk gave a touching response that brought tears to my eyes: "Anybody who's still got little kids at home, growing up. There's no question I knew what I was doing when I had kids growing up. I was being a dad. I mean that was my job."
I love the unabashed sense of joy, purpose and even longing Odenkirk describes when he says he missed raising kids. My eldest child graduated from high school this year, and I certainly understood the sentiment that time goes by quickly. When life gets busy with work and school, I try to remind myself I will miss these days, just as I already miss the days when my children were small enough for me to hold them in my lap.
I agree with Odenkirk that raising children brings mothers and fathers joy and purpose in a unique way. It also requires sacrifice, integrity and intentionality ‒ qualities everyone should embody. I wish more people would talk about the upside of parenting. More people would want to be parents if we did.
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According to a 2022 Tulane University study, becoming a parent can shift individuals toward more conservative viewpoints. There's even a conservative fertility advantage − data shows that people with kids are more likely to be Republicans.
Yet, birth rates continue to decline, which is an indication that conservatives need to be better brand ambassadors for parenting.
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The Wall Street Journal recently published a feature about conservative mothers who work and raise their children. It was a breath of fresh air. It's impossible to "have it all," and it certainly is difficult to balance motherhood and a career. But I appreciated the positive framing of the story. These conservative women love their work and kids. It is possible.
I get the need women have to vent about the frustrations and difficulties of motherhood. Conservatives should not shy from hard conversations about financial burdens, income inequity and difficulties in finding affordable childcare. We should lean into these topics and advocate for policies that can help.
Yet women, especially conservative women, also should be more vocal about the benefits of motherhood.
It's fun, fulfilling and exciting. I love being a mom and I think more people should have kids − a lot of them.
Motherhood is an incredible experience I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world. Conservative women might know that best of all.
Nicole Russell is a columnist at USA TODAY and a mother of four who lives in Texas. Contact her at [e-mail] and follow her on X, formerly Twitter: @russell_nm. Sign up for her weekly newsletter, The Right Track, here.