Best of the Babylon Bee: Obama distraught as Trump bombs nuke factory he paid for
Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.
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A staff member at Obama's Martha's Vineyard estate confirmed that the former president was upset by Iran's failure to carry out mass death and destruction. READ MORE
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The bright orange ball in the sky appeared late Sunday morning and stayed in the sky for a few hours, causing the deaths of millions of residents of Great Britain. READ MORE
The limited edition MS-13 bobblehead features a Latinx cis-male with face tattoos and a penchant for vandalism. READ MORE
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Speculation persisted that Texas Republicans were merely tired of their Democrat-leaning capital city and wanted it nuked from orbit so they could move the state's capital to San Antonio. READ MORE
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Newsweek
34 minutes ago
- Newsweek
Iran Will Now Copy North Korea's Nuke Strategy—Top Intel Democrat Fears
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. Military strikes on Iran's nuclear sites will prompt Tehran to pursue its atomic ambitions in secret, much like the way North Korea operates its program, Representative Jim Himes has said. The Connecticut Democrat and ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee, told MSNBC how he was worried the attack on Iranian nuclear sites would force Tehran to give up diplomacy and end any chances of transparency over its nuclear program. A news broadcast on a screen at a railway station in Seoul on February 9, 2023, shows a North Korean military parade held in Pyongyang to mark the 75th founding anniversary of its armed forces. A news broadcast on a screen at a railway station in Seoul on February 9, 2023, shows a North Korean military parade held in Pyongyang to mark the 75th founding anniversary of its armed forces. JUNG YEON-JE/Getty Images Why It Matters President Donald Trump has boasted that U.S. strikes had destroyed Iran's ability to develop a nuclear bomb, but early intelligence reports cited by CNN and The New York Times have raised doubts about the operation's effectiveness. The comments from Himes echo concerns that if Iran's nuclear program is not fully incapacitated, Tehran will pursue its program in secret, away from the eyes of the West, which could pose a bigger long-term security risk. What To Know Himes is a Democrat among the so-called "Gang of Eight" leaders within Congress who are briefed on classified intelligence matters. In his interview on MSNBC, he told host Jen Psaki that from Iran's perspective, the diplomatic route over its nuclear program did not work, given that in 2018, Trump pulled the U.S. out of the 2015 Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA), which had slowed Tehran's progress toward a nuclear weapon. Then, when negotiations took place earlier this month, Israel launched Operation Rising Lion, which Tehran would take as proof that diplomacy did not work, Himes said. The congressman added that Iran might view its only alternative as taking a leaf out of North Korea's book and developing a bomb in secret, wary of what has happened to the countries that gave up their nuclear weapons, like Ukraine and Libya. This image from April 15, 2021, shows Representative Jim Himes (D-CT) during a House Intelligence Committee hearing about worldwide threats, on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C. This image from April 15, 2021, shows Representative Jim Himes (D-CT) during a House Intelligence Committee hearing about worldwide threats, on Capitol Hill in Washington, also said his worry was not over a military attack on U.S. naval assets in the Middle East, but rather that Tehran would lie low for several months and develop a nuclear weapon in secret. The Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS) said in October 2024 that military strikes on Iran risked Tehran driving its nuclear development program further underground. Daryl Kimball, executive director of the Arms Control Association (ACA) has said that U.S. strikes may temporarily set back Iran's nuclear program, but would likely prove such weapons are needed for deterrence and that Washington is not interested in diplomacy. National Iranian American Council (NIAC) President Jamal Abdi said in a statement to Newsweek that significant questions remain about key components of Iran's nuclear program, and where it goes from here. What People Are Saying Rep. Jim Himes, Connecticut Democrat and ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee, on MSNBC: "My worry is not that there's going to be a military attack on our naval assets in Bahrain or on our airfield in Qatar. My worry is that the going to do exactly what North Korea does. "[Iran's] alternative is to look at North Korea, which developed a bomb in secret," he added. Daryl Kimball, executive director of the Arms Control Association (ACA) in a statement: "Military strikes alone cannot destroy Iran's extensive nuclear knowledge." What Happens Next Pending a full damage report, the impact of U.S. strikes on Iran's nuclear facilities will remain the subject of speculation. Meanwhile, questions remain over the Islamic Republic's stockpile of enriched uranium, whose whereabouts are unknown, according to the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA), Rafael Grossi.
San Francisco Chronicle
43 minutes ago
- San Francisco Chronicle
Ohio plans swift appeal as court declares private school voucher system unconstitutional
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Ohio signaled on Wednesday that it will swiftly appeal a court ruling declaring the state's private school voucher system unconstitutional, a decision celebrated by public school advocates and condemned by a prominent Christian education organization. Republican Attorney General Dave Yost said in a statement that he is confident the state will ultimately win. He assured Ohio families that the judge's order allows the program to remain operational as the lawsuit is argued, "so parents don't have to panic or worry about other options while the court process plays out.' Franklin County Common Pleas Judge Jaiza Page granted summary judgment Tuesday in a 2022 lawsuit joined by hundreds of public school districts, known collectively as Vouchers Hurt Ohio, as well as some parents, students and a fair school funding group. The plaintiffs had argued that Ohio's 28-year-old school voucher plan, known as EdChoice, has over time created an unconstitutional system of separately funded private schools and led to resegregation of some districts because mostly nonminority students take advantage of the program. Page, a Democrat, agreed that the program violates a provision of the Ohio Constitution requiring 'a thorough and efficient system of common schools," but rejected claims that it violated the equal protection clause. She used her 47-page decision to recount Ohio's history of funding schools, noting that evidence presented in the case spanned from before statehood to the 2023 state budget bill that established a universal voucher program providing tuition to nonpublic schools, including religious ones, to any family in the state. Page notably rejected the widely used 'school choice' legal argument, which says that voucher programs involve spending decisions made by individual parents, not by the state. The judge found that argument failed in this case. She said families aren't the EdChoice program's final decision-makers: 'The ultimate decision to accept prospective students, and by doing so receive EdChoice funds, lies with the private school.' The Ohio Christian Education Network, the rapidly expanding education arm of the Center for Christian Virtue, expressed strong disagreement with the ruling. 'This decision is poorly reasoned and ignores mountains of previous school choice jurisprudence at both (the) state and federal levels,' Troy McIntosh, the network's executive director, said in a statement. 'The fact is that this decision is not only an improper legal decision, but it could result in almost 100,000 Ohio students being tossed out of the school they have chosen to attend." The Ohio Education Association, the state's largest teachers union, praised the ruling as a win for the nearly 90% of K-12 students who attend Ohio's public schools. "Although this legal victory is likely the first step in a much longer process through the appeals courts, the ruling Tuesday represents a huge victory for Ohio's public school educators, school communities, and students who have seen critical resources diverted from our public schools for years to fund private school tuition payments for mostly-wealthy families whose children had never attended their local public schools in the first place,' OEA President Scott DiMauro said in a statement.
San Francisco Chronicle
43 minutes ago
- San Francisco Chronicle
A look at how Trump's big bill could change the US immigration system
President Donald Trump's spending cuts and border security package would inject roughly $150 billion into his mass deportation agenda over the next four years, funding everything from an extension of the United States' southern border wall to detention centers to thousands of additional law enforcement staff. The current annual budget for Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the government's primary department for immigration enforcement, is around $10 billion. If the Republican president's big bill passes in Congress, the immense cash infusion could reshape America's immigration system by expanding the law enforcement and detention network while increasing costs to legally immigrate to the U.S. The Senate is debating its own version of the bill, which largely aligns with the House's approach when it comes to these issues. In recent days, Republicans have focused on sometimes-violent protests against Trump's immigration crackdown to press for quick passage over Democratic opposition. That's what happened earlier in June when protests triggered unrest in parts of Los Angeles. 'The lawlessness happening in LA is ANOTHER reason why we need to pass the One Big Beautiful Bill IMMEDIATELY,' House Speaker Mike Johnson wrote on X. 'It provides the ESSENTIAL funding needed to secure our nation's borders.' Plenty, though, remains unclear about the legislation. 'One thing about this bill, these sections are super vague,' said Adam Isacson, a researcher with the Washington-based human rights advocacy organization WOLA, including multibillion-dollar expenditures sometimes explained in just a few vague lines. 'There's no real specificity in the bill about how it's going to be spent.' Here's a look at some key immigration sections of the 1,000-page bill, as approved by the House, and what it could mean for the U.S. government's posture on immigration: PROJECT: The wall WHAT THE BILL SAYS: The bill sets aside $46.5 billion for what the House Homeland Security Committee calls an 'integrated border barrier system,' including fencing, water barriers, law enforcement access roads and technology like movement sensors. The funding would complete 701 miles (1,128 kilometers) of primary walls and 900 miles (1,448 kilometers) of river barriers along the U.S.-Mexico border, according to the committee. It is the bill's largest expenditure. 'Any lawmaker who claims to care about border security will need to put their money where their mouth is and work to advance these recommendations,' said the committee's chairman, Republican Rep. Mark Green of Tennessee. THE IMPACT: Building the wall has long been one of Trump's signature promises, but its impacts beyond political symbolism are unclear. Illegal border crossings have plunged since Trump took office in January amid a string of orders on immigration, including the suspension of the asylum system. Simply ending asylum meant tens of thousands of people who would've surrendered to law enforcement instead of trying to avoid capture didn't even attempt to cross. Plus, the effectiveness of border walls is hotly debated, even in populated areas where barriers tend to be heavily reinforced. Human smugglers, often linked to drug cartels, have used tunnels, ladders and power tools to cross walls. But, experts note that though illegal crossings are down now, that can change rapidly. PROJECT: Detention facilities and staff WHAT THE BILL SAYS: The bill, which top White House aide and immigration hawk Stephen Miller has called 'the most essential piece of legislation currently under consideration in the entire Western World,' sets aside $45 billion to expand the network of immigrant detention facilities for adult migrants and families. The standards in adult facilities, the bill notes, would be set at 'the sole discretion of the Secretary of Homeland Security.' More than $12 billion was also requested for 18,000 new ICE and Border Patrol personnel. THE IMPACT: ICE has said it wants to increase its current detention capacity from about 41,000 people to 100,000. It's part of what ICE's acting director, Todd Lyons, has suggested is a deportation system that could function 'like Amazon, trying to get your product delivered in 24 hours.' ICE currently has about 6,000 deportation officers, a number that's been stagnant for years. While expanding staff and detention centers would make it easier for the administration to increase deportations, even the tens of billions of dollars the bill requests may not be enough to meet Trump's goals. Miller has said ICE should be making 3,000 arrests per day of people in the country illegally. That's a vast increase over the roughly 650 arrested a day in the first five months of Trump's second term. But the plans are a boon to America's private prison industry, with stock prices for the two dominant companies, Geo Group Inc. and CoreCivic, up more than 50% since Trump's election. PROJECT: Immigration courts WHAT THE BILL SAYS: The legislation sets aside $1.25 billion for the immigration court system, with funds to hire more immigration judges and support staff and to expand courtroom capacity. The courts' annual budget currently stands at roughly $850 million. THE IMPACT: The immigration court system, which has roughly 700 judges, has struggled for years with chronic understaffing and a backlog that has reached more than 3.6 million cases. Judges typically take more than five years to make decisions. It's a chaotic system, with overworked judges, a shortage of translators and immigrants who often don't have lawyers. The chaos has grown in recent weeks, with immigration courts seeing a spike in arrests outside courtrooms as agents wait to detain immigrants attending routine hearings. The arrests have spread fed confusion and fear, especially among asylum-seekers, who are accustomed to remaining free while their cases plod their way through the system. The proposed funding would be "a significant increase, and from an institutional perspective it's urgently needed money,' said Greg Chen, director of government relations for the American Immigration Lawyers Association. But he also believes the rising numbers of courthouse arrests reflect an administration looking for ways to bypass immigration courts. PROJECT: Immigration fees WHAT THE BILL SAYS: The bill overhauls the system of immigration costs, with dramatic increases and new fees imposed for once-free services. Applying for asylum, which has long been free, will now cost $1,000, with asylum-seekers paying another $550 for employment applications. Among other fee increases, appealing an immigration judge decision jumps from $110 to $900 and applying for temporary protected status, which allows people from certain countries facing civil unrest or natural disasters to stay temporarily in the U.S., goes from $50 to $500.
