Can Your Relationship Pass the Gas Test?

WebMD

7 hours ago

June 12, 2025 – Some say passing gas in front of your partner is a sign of a healthy relationship. But does that notion pass the smell test?
Experts say yes. But what really matters is a shared understanding between partners about how to handle these inevitable – and sometimes awkward – moments.
"For one person, it might just be a normal human experience; and for another, it might be insulting and rude," said William Schroeder, LPC, a co-owner and counselor at Just Mind Counseling. "It could be seen as someone not having boundaries – or it could be seen as erotic."
As a therapist, he said, "I don't think any response is correct or incorrect, but it can help to make sure you are on the same page."
Some of this depends on gender and generation.
While the flatulence field isn't quite as well-researched as, say, heart disease or cancer, surveys suggest that the younger crowd may be more comfortable with this particular aspect of intimacy. One survey by online media company MIC found that 3 out of 4 people in their 20s and 30s regularly broke the "fart barrier" within the first year of dating. And an eHarmony survey of about 1,000 Australians found the average Aussie waited six months to pass gas in front of their partner – three months longer than it took to declare "I love you." Even then, those under the age of 24 were more likely than older respondents to break wind in the first three months of a relationship.
"I've talked about this in one-on-one conversations personally and professionally, and I found that at some point or another, people feared how they would burp and fart in front of each other," said Michelle Mouhtis, LCSW, who focuses on dating and relationships in her counseling business, That Millennial Therapist.
Boomer women were taught farting wasn't acceptable or "ladylike" and may have passed some of these ideas to their children, especially their daughters, she said. "That could be why in most heterosexual relationships, men tend to break the ice first, since these pressures weren't passed to them."
That's what Mouhtis expected in her own relationship. When she started dating her now-husband, she wanted him to cross that milestone first. When she asked, he admitted belching and passing gas grossed him out. After moving in together, Mouhtis discovered growing resentment and a mounting reliance on Gas-X.
After talking to friends and considering her actions, Mouhtis realized that not flatulating in front of her partner was a bellwether.
"I was actually holding back from him in other ways," she said.
Is Passing Gas in Front of a Partner a True Test of a Healthy Relationship?
While Mouhtis pegged her own avoidance to deeper issues, that's not always the case. People's reactions to passing gas – and the reasons behind them – can vary widely, depending on how they were socialized.
"For some, it's a sign of intimacy and ease – like you've moved from performance mode to true connection. For others, it might break the fantasy or signal a drop in romantic effort," said Jeff Guenther, LPC, who creates content under the handle @therapyjeff and hosts a podcast called Problem Solved. "Neither is right or wrong, but how each partner feels about it is important. The key is shared meaning, not shared gas."
Finding that shared meaning can be hard when couples are sharply divided. "People don't just have an opinion – they have an identity," Guenther said. For some, "it can be seen as a lack of respect or even a value system difference," said Schroeder.
For others, particularly long-term couples, "I have seen it come up as an issue on the periphery – like how someone won't leave the room or go to the bathroom and instead farts in front of them and it frustrates their partner," Schroeder said. "Most often it's [more] a metaphor for the relationship than it is the actual issue."
The meaning for you may be worth considering. "Are you holding back from your partner in other aspects of your relationship – like sharing what's bothering you?" Mouhtis said. "Is there a fear if you're fully yourself, you won't be accepted for who you are? Or are you afraid of criticism or rejection from your partner?"
How you were raised to deal with bodily functions can have a big impact too. Different cultures treat passing gas differently, Schroeder said. Many put added restrictions on women.
Talking about it can help. "Opening a dialogue about how it was treated in your own family of origin can actually lead to deeper understanding and empathy in your relationship – ultimately bringing you closer," Mouhtis said.
Talking to Your Partner About Gas
Most people don't have a direct conversation about flatulence and boundaries, therapists said. Instead, they deal with the fallout after one slips out.
"If one partner breaks the ice and farts first, and treats it with humor, it gives the other partner permission to do the same," Mouhtis said.
One approach to the subject: Take a 15-minute post-dinner "fart walk."
The "fart walk" became a 2024 online trend when influencer and cookbook author Mairlyn Smith promoted it as a healthy way to prevent bloating.
Smith's cheeky "#fartwalk" is backed by science. Several studies show that a short post-dinner walk helps lower blood sugar for people with diabetes. A 2021 study showed walking after eating helped ease symptoms of bloating.
"It's kind of the perfect setting to casually bring up bodily stuff without it feeling like a big deal," Guenther said. "Way less awkward than trying to have a fart talk while maintaining eye contact on the couch."
Bloating – that feeling of fullness or pressure in the belly area because of gas in the intestines – is common. A 2023 survey of more than 88,000 Americans found that 1 in 7 dealt with bloating in a week, with women and those with conditions like irritable bowel syndrome, celiac disease, and Crohn's disease most likely to have symptoms.
People dealing with such chronic conditions might find it necessary to talk about uncomfortable body issues earlier in relationships than others.
"For folks with GI issues, chronic conditions, or disabilities – talking about it early is not just practical, it's a sign of emotional maturity," Guenther said.
You could propose a "fart pact" with your partner, he said. "I'd describe it as a mutual agreement that we're doing this now – as in, farting in front of each other. We're not pretending we don't fart anymore."
This type of conversation, whether about flatulence or other bodily issues, is natural and important in long-term relationships, Schroeder said.
"Bodily experiences are a huge part of life, and sometimes that's around illness, caregiving, and respect for those we love," he said. "Humor and empathy are such important parts of human connection, and it helps to have hard discussions so we can find the balance we need in relationships."
Studies on Flatulence
Aging can change how often you pass gas. Though the term "old fart" is well known, a study published in Clinical Gastroenterology and Hepatology showed flatulence notably decreased with age.
The analysis of 16,000 Americans self-reporting various digestive symptoms showed younger people (ages 18 to 24) passed gas more often than older people (ages 45 to 64, and older). The report's authors theorize this could have to do with younger people eating more fermentable carbohydrates, moving more, and taking fewer medications that are known to slow intestinal movement.
Though less gas might be seen as a sign of health, some recent animal studies showed exposure to hydrogen sulfide, the chemical that makes gas smell, aided various body cells. Scientists tested artificial hydrogen sulfide and found the gas could potentially help people who get liver transplants and widen blood vessels.
While further research into hydrogen sulfide's effect on human cells is needed, there's no need to hide from a partner's smelly gas or blame yours on the dog.
Guenther said he's seeing a change with younger generations embracing acceptance.
"That dynamic seems to be shifting with Millennials and Gen Z, who are generally more body-positive and down to destigmatize stuff like this," he said.
Whichever side you land on, the health of the relationship comes down to open communication and understanding.