Woman Vows to Never Host Mother's Day After Mother-in-Law Refuses to Attend Birthday Party She Spent Days Preparing for

Yahoo

08-05-2025

After spending days preparing a birthday celebration, a woman's mother-in-law refused to attend over a perceived slight
Feeling hurt and unappreciated, the woman told her husband she would no longer host events for his mother
With Mother's Day approaching, her firm stance on boundaries is straining their marriageA woman is seeking support from the Reddit community after a difficult decision regarding her mother-in-law led to conflict in her marriage. In her post, she details the ongoing tension with her husband's family, particularly his mother, and how it has affected their plans for Mother's Day.
She explains that she and her husband have been together for eight years, and while she gets along well with most of his family, her relationship with her mother-in-law has always been 'rocky.'
'That being said, I get along with his family very well and share my husband's love of hosting parties and gatherings,' she writes, highlighting her efforts to be a part of family traditions.
Recently, drama erupted after one of her sisters-in-law began distancing herself from the rest of the family, claiming she felt excluded.
The woman recalls, 'A couple months ago for MIL's birthday, my husband had sent out a text to the family chat to invite everyone over,' describing how all family celebrations are typically potluck-style, with the host family doing most of the work.
Despite being included in the group chat, the sister-in-law complained to their mother that she hadn't received a formal invitation, saying she would feel 'like an intruder' if she attended. The mother-in-law then called her son, insisting he call his sister to apologize and invite her personally, but he declined, explaining, 'she's in the chat and no one else received anything 'formal' and she was welcome like everyone else.'
On the day of the birthday celebration, the woman says she did the majority of the preparations, only to be disappointed when her mother-in-law didn't show up. 'She told another SIL she would not be sharing a meal with someone who blatantly excluded one of her children,' she writes, adding that the rest of the family chose to enjoy the gathering anyway.
After everyone left, her husband apologized for his mother's absence and thanked her for her hard work, but the experience left her heartbroken. 'Why would MIL not think about the effort that was made?' she writes, sharing how much the situation hurt her.
She calmly told her husband that they would no longer be hosting celebrations for his mother at their home, and he agreed at the time. However, when he later suggested inviting the family over for Mother's Day, she immediately refused, explaining, 'SIL is still behaving the same, MIL never apologized for what she did, and I refuse to have a redo.'
Her husband tried to argue that Mother's Day was different from his mom's birthday, but she stood firm, clarifying, 'anything to do with celebrating his mom is now off the table.' She said she was still willing to go out to dinner or bring something store-bought to another family member's house, but she would no longer spend hours preparing for his mother.
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When her husband asked how long this new boundary would last, she told him it would be permanent. He pressed her on whether she had forgiven his mother, and she replied that she had, but these were her new boundaries.
He accused her of harboring resentment and making the situation into a bigger problem, but ultimately agreed they would not host for Mother's Day, though he felt she was being 'petty.' Reflecting on the conversation, she admits, 'I might be, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm not wrong for this boundary.'
Commenters generally have the poster's back.
"Both MIL and SIL sound rude and childish - the apple didn't fall far from the tree there," one writes. "You made it clear to your husband about your boundary for your hosting future events for MIL and he is now back-pedalling. If he wants to host, he can do it elsewhere or one of the other 4 siblings can step up. If SIL wants to be included, why can't she host? The whole family just sounds exhausting."
Adds another, "Tell him if your MIL is coming over, he can do all the cleaning, shopping, and food prep for the occasion, but you won't be putting in that effort for someone who doesn't appreciate it. My guess is he'll nope right out of that idea."
Read the original article on People