‘These things show their class': When Rishi Kapoor lashed out at Deepika Padukone and Sonam Kapoor for mocking son Ranbir; what happens when jokes go too far?

Indian Express

04-08-2025

Public figures often find their personal lives under intense scrutiny, but what happens when jokes among peers cross a line? In 2009, during an episode of Koffee with Karan, actors Deepika Padukone and Sonam Kapoor made remarks about their common link, Ranbir Kapoor.
While Deepika jokingly suggested that Ranbir should endorse condoms, Sonam cast doubt on his credibility as a boyfriend. 'I don't think he can be a good boyfriend,' she said, alluding to his alleged lack of seriousness in relationships.
The remarks did not go down well with Ranbir's father, actor Rishi Kapoor, who hit back publicly. 'What can I say about this? Everyone here is like family. These two girls are like my children. I myself do not want to jump into the fight of my son and his friends. But these things said by Deepika and Sonam show their class. I just want to say that stop saying this all the time and behave with maturity,' he had said. He further added, 'Both of you are in the show because you are your fathers' daughters, not because of your work. I would advise them to stop talking about their colleagues and insulting them.'
Even though Deepika clarified later that it was said in jest, stating, 'We're all friends and if Ranbir doesn't have a problem with it, I don't see why anyone else should,' the incident left behind questions around how public conversations shape reputations and the weight of a 'joke'.
Gurleen Baruah, an existential analyst, tells indianexpress.com, 'There's no one-size-fits-all answer. It really depends on the individuals involved, the nature of the past relationship, and the intention behind the words. Humour is often used to cope, deflect, or even process unresolved feelings, but when it involves someone else—especially a former partner—context and consent matter. What's light for one person might be deeply cutting for another. A joke made publicly, without the other's presence or consent, carries a different weight. From a psychological lens, the line is crossed when humour becomes a mask for judgment, bitterness, or public shaming. It's less about political correctness and more about emotional responsibility.'
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Baruah mentions that jokes are complicated. They can be light, fun, and even bonding, but when they touch on someone's personal life, especially in public, they can also sting. 'Even if it's 'just banter,' the impact can last longer than the laugh. Some people laugh it off; others carry it for years. Especially when it plays into gossip or reinforces an existing narrative, a joke can blur into commentary.' And while humour can soften things, it doesn't always erase the emotional residue.
So yes, jokes are allowed, but timing, tone, and context matter. A playful jab among friends is one thing. A punchline on a national platform? That can land very differently.
Whether an apology repairs the damage depends on a few things—how genuine it feels, the timing, and the intent behind it. People don't always remember the 'sorry' as much as they remember the sting. That said, not all impact is permanent. What matters is how the person who's been affected makes sense of it—do they internalise it, or can they create a boundary between what was said and who they know themselves to be?
'Moving forward might mean having direct conversations, setting limits, or even reshaping public perception over time. In some cases, it also depends on how the relationship between the people involved evolves. Humour, especially in public spaces, is tricky—one person's joke can be another's bruise. But genuine repair is possible when it's paired with accountability and care,' explains Baruah.