Selfish WhatsApp trend sweeping UK has gone too far – I'm ready to bin phone over chat misery that's only getting worse
That's how many times WhatsApp pinged me last week. It works out at over 300 texts a day. I'm exhausted, and a nightmare app trend is making it even worse.
5
The Sun's tech editor Sean Keach is at his wit's end with WhatsApp
Credit: Sean Keach
5
There's seemingly no end of WhatsApp notifications – and group chats are to blame
Credit: Alamy
I'm talking about group chats. Endless buzzing conversations with loved ones, pals, colleagues, strangers, and people I don't even like.
It seems like everything gets its own group chat these days.
For a start, you've got chats with every possible configuration of family and pals you could imagine.
Then there are the groups for long-forgotten after-work drinks, stag dos and birthday parties that won't die. They pop up every few weeks like notification zombies, eating away at my brain and my patience.
Why does being pulled into a chat for arranging some beers mean I'm condemned to a lifetime of tedious GIFs and tired memes?
Yes, I know I can leave group chats, or just archive them.
But it's like playing whack-a-mole. Leaving them seems to invite even more into my life. It's like one of those cursed dolls from a
horror
movie.
Unsolicited invitations to conversations I don't need to be a part of abound. Dozens of groups, all bombarding me like a digital Luftwaffe.
Most read in Phones & Gadgets
I just went into WhatsApp Settings > Storage and Data > Network Usage to look at my all time stats. I've sent about 200,000 messages since getting WhatsApp, and received nearly 700,000. I can't keep pace.
And when I go into Settings > Screen Time on my iPhone to look at my WhatsApp notification count, I'm opening WhatsApp 16 times a day on average – with thousands of pop-ups a week.
WhatsApp reveals exacty how to block one of your contacts
By my maths, last week there were nearly 19 notifications every time I opened the app. It's sickening. This isn't how humans were meant to live. My phone isn't always with me – so even going outdoors doesn't fix it.
There's no escape unless I chuck my mobile in the bin. It's tempting.
Isolated, most of these group chats don't seem too bad. I even like most of the people in them, honestly.
But their misery is greater than the sum of their parts. They come together like a snowball of spam, crushing me under the immense weight of mindless chatter.
SHOWER THOUGHTS
The whole concept of online chatting is oppressive too.
Just the other day, I was texting a pal and felt bad about going to hop in the shower mid-conversation. What if they think I'm ignoring them? Will they think something happened to me? It's obviously nonsense, but the app makes it feel like you're "always on".
I felt like a prisoner in my own bathroom.
I did shower in the end, obviously. I won't let the apps win. But their dominating effect is real.
The sad truth is that I get so many messages that it's literally impossible to read, absorb, and reply to them all in a meaningful way.
Not unless I pack my job in, cut off my hobbies, and glue myself to my phone.
5
I'm getting about 430 notifications a day on my phone – and almost all of them are from WhatsApp
Credit: Sean Keach
5
I'm receiving way more texts than I can possibly send
Credit: Sean Keach
I don't even think I'm particularly popular. Some of you reading this probably have it even worse. How do you cope?
The worst thing is, I'm hardly using social media. I've basically come off Facebook and Instagram to try to
If I was using those apps too, I don't know how I'd deal with the onslaught.
At least my bosses pay me to read my work emails. Trawling through my WhatsApp chats is thankless.
It's gotten so bad that some days, I don't even bother opening the app. I think: if it's important, I'll hear about it in another way.
Better yet, I remind myself that I can just talk to these people in person. Ask them about their lives in the flesh: "How are you? Going anywhere
nice
? What have you been
cooking
for dinner lately?"
It doesn't need to be a constant back-and-forth on WhatsApp.
One small saving grace I've found is the iPhone's
TRY 'SLEEP FOCUS' TO SAVE YOURSELF
It's not the perfect solution to your WhatsApp nightmare, but it's a start...
Just go into Settings > Focus > Sleep on an iPhone.
Then you can customise your Sleep Focus to shut out notifications while you're in bed.
You can set up a schedule, so you won't see notifications until you leave the Focus in the morning.
The schedule can even have different times for weekdays versus the weekend.
And it'll even warn people trying to iMessage you that you've got notifications silenced (though they'll be given the option to break through).
You can even set it up to allow notifications from specific people. I have mine set to allow my wife and closest family members – but you can block everyone if you prefer.
Picture Credit: The Sun / Apple
This mutes notifications coming through at night, and hides them when I wake up. It's only when I come out of the Sleep Focus that they appear.
So I get some small respite from the WhatsApp carnage until my day properly begins. But it's not enough. There has to be a better way.
PEN TO PAPER
Honestly, I'm convinced we need to go back to writing letters.
A couple of weeks ago, I read out a handwritten letter from a family member to my wife's 90-year-old grandad. It was a big update on their life in Australia, and it felt like a special moment.
The message was an occasion. Not just a ping.
Nothing feels special with WhatsApp. It's just a constant flurry of thoughts, feelings, updates, and memes.
Wouldn't it be nice to write a letter to distant friends or far-off family members, maybe once a quarter? Tell them all the main bits, write it with love, and then get excited for the big update coming back in the post.
There's no pressure to reply right away. Certainly no damning "blue ticks" cruelly revealing when I've peeled the envelope open.
5
Maybe the solution is simple: sending letters again
Credit: Getty
And try "tagging" me with a bit of paper. I dare you. The closest you'll get to rushing me is a first-class stamp.
It would make chatting with loved ones feel more special.
Read more on the Irish Sun
We'd all be reminded of what is actually important in our lives – and who we really want to share those thoughts, feelings, updates, and moments with.
And you can bet I won't be getting 2,000 letters a week.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
The Irish Sun
2 hours ago
- The Irish Sun
The sneaky ways cheats conceal their DMs on Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp AND text – & secret folder they hide apps in
SECRET codes for WhatsApp chats and 'restricted' Instagram followers – these are just two of the tricks that cheaters use to hide their DMs. But it turns out that there are loads of ways to conceal private messages on social media apps, including Facebook - and even regular old SMS texts aren't safe from love rat antics. 11 Archived Chats are an easy way for a sneaky cheat to hide their Facebook Messenger DMs Credit: The Sun 11 It takes just a quick swipe to hide a chat away in the Archived folder on Facebook Credit: The Sun If that wasn't enough, the apps themselves might also be "hidden" from view. Maybe you've got a wayward partner in your life, or you're looking for your own ways to boost the privacy of your chats. Here's The Sun's tech team reveals what to look out for... Facebook One of the easiest ways to hide a Facebook Messenger conversation is to just "mute" it (to silence notifications) and then "archive" it, hiding it in a separate folder. The Archived Chats is a separate folder that keeps specific conversations separate from your main feed of conversations. So you'd only know what's in there by clicking on it. A more tactical method for someone trying to conceal a chat is the Restrict feature. If you 'Restrict' someone, it means you'll see less of the person without blocking them. Importantly, it'll remove their conversation from your chats list and mute it. So someone having an affair could very easily keep a contact "restricted" to make sure the chat stays hidden. Facebook Messenger also has a Disappearing Messages feature that WhatsApp reveals exacty how to block one of your contacts You can see if it's on for a chat by going into the conversation settings and tapping on Disappearing Messages. This is an easy way for someone to have regular conversations that automatically cleanse themselves – removing all evidence of a chat. And a final option would be a partner creating a "private" Facebook Group that you're not a member of. You'd be blocked from seeing the posts, and there's not much you can do about it. It's even possible to hide groups from you, to keep you in the dark. But if they're logged into their account on a PC or phone, it would be visible on their own profile on that device. Instagram The most basic way that an Instagram user might be concealing something from you is by muting individual DM conversations. They do this by swiping left on the chat panel, tapping the three dots, then choosing the mute option. This prevents notifications from that chat alone from appearing, meaning they don't have to mute all pop-ups. 11 Instagram lets you mute message notifications for specific chats Credit: The Sun But that's not the only method. One particularly sneaky Instagram trick involves making use of the "Restricted" setting. This is meant to be So if you Restrict a person, it'll hide their comments from everyone else. 11 Using the Restrict feature will hide a conversation from the main feed completely – and mute it too Credit: The Sun And their DMs will go to your message requests, and limit notifications. This is what cheaters rely on: any messages from that person will go into the Message Requests folder. It means that the DMs won't show up in your main inbox, and won't trigger any pop-up alerts. WhatsApp The first way someone on WhatsApp might be hiding their texts is a combination of two features: Archive and Mute. 11 You can mute and archive a conversation in WhatsApp very easily Credit: The Sun Mute will prevent pop-ups from a conversation, and Archive will hide the conversation in a special folder. To find the Archived folder, just look at the top of the chat feed. It should be there with a tag showing how many unread messages are in there. You might need to scroll down slightly to see it. For even more privacy, someone might be using the If you want to read a message in Locked Chats, the phone's owner needs to unlock it with a phone passcode, Face ID, or fingerprint. 11 The Locked Chats folder is one of the most secure spots for adulterous texts Credit: The Sun Any type of chat can be locked, including groups and muted conversations. To find the Locked Chats, you'll need to click the lock icon. That only appears if you swipe down on your chat inbox. But a suspicious phone owner can go even further – by If you're trying to do it on your own phone, you'd go into the Locked Chats folder, tap on settings, then toggle Hide Locked Chats on. Then you'll need to create a secret code – it could be anything. That way, the Locked Chats folder will only appear if you type the secret code into the search bar on the chats tab. If you forget the code and make a new one, the chats will be unlocked and cleared. Sadly, the Locked Chats folder won't appear if you don't know the secret code. 11 Setting up a secret code means the Locked Chats folder becomes totally invisible – a love rat's dream Credit: The Sun The only way to tell if someone has a secret folder would be to click Lock Chat on another chat. If that conversation then disappears but there's no visible Locked Chats folder, it means the folder is hidden. Of course, you then wouldn't be able to unlock that conversation – so you'd raise suspicions. Another WhatsApp feature that someone might be taking advantage of is automatic message deletion. The official name is 11 Disappearing Messages automatically wipes away any evidence of an online fling Credit: The Sun This could be 24 hours, seven days, or 90 days. Once the deadline lands, they're gone forever (unless you choose to manually "keep" them). It can be applied to all WhatsApp chats in Settings > Privacy > Default Message Timer. Or it'll show in specific chats: tap the contact's name or group subject, choose Disappearing Messages, and see what it's set to. It's a great feature for also for betrayal. Texts One cunning way a cheater might conceal their antics is by giving their lover a fake name. Maybe the contact is saved as John Smith, Royal Mail, or even UK Gov. Any nickname is an option to conceal the deceit. There is something that can give this away. If the contact has a WhatsApp account, their true identity and picture may appear there – no matter what they're saved as on your regular texting app. They'll appear as their true self in the WhatsApp contacts panel. SIGNS OF AN APP BEING USED There's a dead giveaway that someone is using an app – even a hidden one... It's all right there in Screen Time on iPhone (or in Digital Wellbeing on Android). You can easily see what apps are being used and when. The feature is meant to let you track your own phone usage, and hopefully pull back on how much you're using your mobile. But it also reveals exact app habits, even if you've tried to hide them. It's a cheater's worst nightmare. You'll find both of them in the Settings app Picture Credit: The Sun There's also a cheeky loophole for hiding texts that they might be exploiting. On iPhone, there's a little-known This is a hidden folder where the texts you've scrubbed from your phone go to die. They'll stay there for 30 days before vanishing forever. 11 Deleting texts and then restoring them later is a clever trick that can be used by cheaters Credit: The Sun So a sneaky cheater could be deleting their chats to hide them, then restoring them at a moment's notice to continue the affair. These binned conversations can be found in the Recently Deleted folder in your Messages inboxes. Secret apps First off, keep in mind that there are lots of apps that people might use for chatting. So look out for lesser-known apps like Kik, WeChat, or Signal. They're not necessarily suspicious: lots of people use Signal for its privacy protections, for instance. But it could also be a sign of foul play. Secondly, remember that apps can be hidden – so they Your iPhone has a hidden folder, right at the bottom of the App Library panel (the one on the far right of your Home Screen). It's impossible to tell if any apps are in the Hidden folder unless you unlock it with a passcode or Face ID. 11 Hide and Require Face ID will make any app invisible – and locks it away in a sealed folder Credit: The Sun And Android phones have The only way to get in and see would be knowing the passcode to take a look. It's also possible that a scheming partner might be using a disguised app. Some dating apps let you change the app icon appearance, and you can The Sun recently revealed how a love rat could give a dodgy app a makeover as an innocent calculator. There's also a chance that your partner is deleting these apps and then reinstalling them when they need them. Your phone's app store history will show the order of downloaded apps, included apps that have been "claimed" but aren't currently installed. That's a dead giveaway that an app has been recently installed and then binned. 11 The Hidden folder on iPhone won't reveal its secrets unless you know the passcode Credit: The Sun
The Irish Sun
4 hours ago
- The Irish Sun
‘Final warning' to over 40m Brits as BBC iPlayer to stop working TOMORROW – check if you're eligible for a free upgrade
VIRGIN Media customers are urged to check their TV equipment as BBC iPlayer will stop working on select boxes from tomorrow. The popular streaming service 2 A shop sign for Virgin Media in central London Credit: PA:Press Association 2 The BBC iPlayer logo is displayed on a smartphone screen Credit: Alamy Virgin has told customers with its The Sun previously to drop support last month. They said the change only affected a Households with the older boxes are eligible for a free upgrade to a newer model. read more in tech But as of tomorrow, MAKING THE SWITCH Those with V6 and Virgin TV 360 boxes will still be able to access the streaming service as normal. The platform allows TV fans to catch up on popular BBC shows from Doctor Who to EastEnders. A Virgin Media spokesperson previously told The Sun: "We have written directly to the small proportion of customers with a TiVo box, who have used BBC iPlayer within the past six months, to inform them that their box will not support iPlayer from 23 July. Most read in Tech "As we have previously communicated directly to relevant customers, anyone with a TiVo box is able to upgrade to a new Virgin TV 360 box at no extra cost." It comes as Virgin Media O2 has become the latest The company says it offer "faster, more reliable and more energy-efficient" 4G and . Customers in It will also affect Giffgaff, Sky Mobile and Tesco Mobile customers - as they all use Virgin Media O2's network. WHY DOES TECH STOP WORKING? By Jamie Harris, Assistant Technology and Science Editor at The Sun It's annoying when tech and gadgets are discontinued, rendering some features useless. Fortunately, companies have got better at lengthening how long they support kit. It tends to only happen after quite a few years have passed and the user numbers have dropped quite low. The truth of the matter is, firms have to keep updating and servicing this older tech which costs them money. When there's only a small number of people left using them older gadgets, it's harder to justify the cost. Moreover, new features on things like apps may not work on dated kit. So ultimately, in the end support is dropped for these gadgets so all their energy, money and time can be put into the newer ones.
The Irish Sun
7 hours ago
- The Irish Sun
UK's biggest mobile provider dishes out free data boost to 41 million customers – find out if you qualify
MORE than 34 million people will receive a big boost to their mobile service this summer at no extra cost. And it should cut down on dreaded poor connection when your phone says it has 5G. 3 Customers can expect better connections in certain areas Credit: Alamy 3 Company aims to make better form of 5G available to 41million by spring 2026 Credit: Alamy EE is unleashing the best version of 5G, known as When connected to 5G standalone you essentially receive the best form of 5G there is. At the moment, a lot of the 5G your phone gets is actually non-standalone, which is some 4G tech mixed in with 5G upgrades, therefore connections aren't at their full speed potential. But the BT-owned company has been making progress on replacing its kit to the full whack 5G standalone standard. By the end of August, the firm says its 5G standalone network will be available to more than half of the UK population. It claims this will make EE the UK's biggest 5G standalone network less than a year on from launch. Some areas that have recently had the tech switched on include Carlisle, Chesterfield, Hemel Hempstead, Newcastle-under-Lyme, Gosport, Slough, Stoke-on-Trent, Sutton Coldfield and York. But this summer, the following 38 areas will notice more reliable, speedy 5G too. Most read in Tech Aberdeen Beverley Blyth Boston Canterbury Chippenham Cleethorpes Crawley Derby Exmouth Great Malvern Grimsby Halifax Harlow Havant Inverness Ipswich Leyland Lichfield Loughborough Norwich Paignton Peterborough Royal Leamington Spa Salisbury Shrewsbury St Albans St Neots Sutton in Ashfield Trowbridge Wellingborough Whitley Bay Windsor Winsford Wishaw Wokingham Wrexham Yeovil EE says it is also rolling out voice over 5G standalone (Vo5G), a feature that improves voice calls with faster setup times, reducing the delay between dialling a number and the phone starting to ring. "Whether you are video calling from a crowded train station, livestreaming on social media from a sold-out concert, or simply staying in touch with your family and friends over the summer holidays, 5G standalone on EE makes your experience smoother, faster and more secure," explained Greg McCall, Chief Networks Officer at BT Group. "Delivering a high-quality mobile experience every day for millions of people is what matters to us, it's what has driven us to build the UK's most reliable network and why we're now delivering 5G standalone to more people in more places across the UK." EE's aims to make 5G standalone available to more than 41million people by spring 2026. 3 Calls will also connect faster thanks to the new tech Credit: Getty
