Late Night Watches Trump Try to Change the Subject From Epstein
Words Without Friends
As he was questioned about Jeffrey Epstein at the Oval Office on Tuesday, President Trump told reporters they should be investigating Barack Obama instead.
'Of course, whenever Trump is backed into a corner, he needs to change the subject and throw red meat to the carnivorous base — and their favorite cut is filet of Obama,' Stephen Colbert explained.
Trump described the former president as 'sedatious,' apparently meaning to say 'seditious.'
'I mean, it takes extraordinary confidence to call a former president 'sedatious,' because that is not a word.' — STEPHEN COLBERT
'Sedatious? It feels like he's mispronouncing a new Black friend's name: 'I want you to meet my friend, Sedatious.' 'Thanks, it's Sean.'' — JOSH JOHNSON
'[imitating Trump] He was 'sedatious.' He would sedate everyone around him with those long pauses of his, and then boom, he and Michelle would come in and steal the election with a series of thoughtful Netflix documentaries.' — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (In Full Flight Edition)
'Well, guys, today, while speaking to reporters at the White House, President Trump called the Epstein files controversy a 'witch hunt.' Yeah, a witch hunt as in it's a hunt for which files contain Trump.' — JIMMY FALLON
'Yeah, he called it a witch hunt. And when they heard, Glinda and Elphaba were like, 'Leave us out of this, dude.'' — JIMMY FALLON
'Today, Speaker Mike Johnson said that he's shutting down the House and letting lawmakers go on vacation early to avoid a vote releasing the Epstein files. Well, Mike Johnson said, 'Don't worry, we will not deal with this the moment we get back.'' — JIMMY FALLON
'Do you understand that they cleared Congress out for the summer like they found a dookie in the pool?' — JOSH JOHNSON
'According to court records, Trump flew on Epstein's plane at least seven times. Now, that doesn't mean he did anything illegal, but it's not a great look when you fly on the pedophile's plane enough times to earn 'Diamond Pervert' status. Don't go in the lounge.' — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Kimmel's guest host, Fortune Feimster, weighed in on the debate over Starbucks launching pumpkin spice lattes in July.
What We're Excited About on Wednesday Night
LL Cool J will sit down with Seth Meyers on 'Late Night.'
Also, Check This Out
Sacha Jenkins's documentary 'Sunday Best' celebrates Ed Sullivan's trailblazing TV career and his commitment to highlighting Black performers in the Civil Rights era.
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