‘Coldplaygate' And Why Romance Thrives At Work, Despite Policies
The viral Coldplay concert video, showing former Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and his HR chief caught in an intimate moment, was viewed by over 100 million people. Despite the interest in the alleged affair, office relationships are incredibly common, and the workplace is one of the most frequent settings for extramarital affairs. The concert incident highlights how little control organizations have when it comes to managing workplace relationships.
In case you somehow missed the viral video, Astronomer CEO Andy Byron was caught hugging his firm's HR officer, Kristin Cabot, on the jumbotron at a Coldplay concert in Massachusetts. Once they realized they were on screen, the couple sprang apart. Cabot covered her face, and Byron ducked from view. One TikTok video of the incident has garnered over 123 million views.
After the pair appeared flustered by their appearance on the large screen, Chris Martin, Coldplay's lead vocalist, quipped to the crowd, 'Wow, what? Either they're having an affair, or they're just very shy. I'm not quite sure what to do.'
Once the encounter was posted online, internet sleuths quickly detected the identity of the duo, and the encounter was deemed particularly inappropriate given Byron is married. According to the company, Byron has resigned as a result of the incident.
Despite the internet sensation caused by the outing of the alleged couple, a significant percentage of extramarital affairs begin in the workplace. Estimates range from 44% to 85% of extramarital affairs are with a coworker. Paul Keable, the Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, a dating site for people seeking extramarital affairs says, "Our biggest competitor isn't other dating services—it's the workplace. It's where many people spend most of their time and energy and where people present their best selves. Naturally this creates an environment where lines can become blurred and affairs tend to take place.'
Psychologists have found additional reasons for why romance is more likely to spark in the office. For example, simply being around someone repeatedly, like in the workplace, can increase our attraction to them. This phenomenon is called the mere exposure effect. In a classic study, participants rated photos of faces more favorably the more frequently they had seen them. Another experiment showed that even brief encounters can increase attraction. In the context of work, repeated contact with colleagues will likely increase romantic interest over time. Most people don't act on this interest, but according to a 2025 Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) survey, more than half of workers have participated in a workplace romance at some point in their career.
To make things worse, organizational bans on workplace romance may have the unintended effect of making these relationships even more tempting. Researchers have found that forbidden love can increase desire and make the relationship seem more desirable, simply because it's off-limits. The same dynamic applies to extramarital affairs, where the forbidden nature makes them seem more appealing.
In many cases, workplace romances can be effectively managed by an organization, but transparency is key. Disclosing a romantic relationship to management or human resources allows the organization to monitor the situation to ensure that there is no favoritism.
But most people don't disclose their workplace romances. A 2024 survey by SHRM revealed that only 22% of those involved in workplace relationships disclosed the relationship to their employer. Another survey found that for Gen X, the percentage was even higher, with 86% keeping their relationship secret.
When employees participate in subordinate-superior relationships, they are even more likely to keep them quiet, because these relationships are particularly frowned upon at work. This secrecy makes it nearly impossible for organizations to monitor fairness or address potential conflicts of interest. Nonetheless, 11% of Gen Z employees have been in a relationship with their own subordinate or direct report, according to a Resume Genius survey. Eleven percent also report having had a relationship with their boss.
The same secrecy issue applies to extramarital affairs, which are rarely acknowledged at work, despite their potential impact on the team. There's little organizations can do to get employees to disclose these relationships.
Astronomer, the company that employed the pair at the Coldplay concert, did not respond to requests for information about their workplace romance policies. Nonetheless, they have released a statement on X, saying, 'Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability, and recently, that standard was not met.'
It's unlikely that any policy would have prevented the alleged romance at Astronomer. When the head of HR, the very person responsible for enforcing professional boundaries at work, is involved, it underscores the difficulty in controlling these relationships.
Generally, it's unreasonable for organizations to expect that workplace romances won't happen, even if they have policies forbidding them. And when they do happen, if they are extramarital or subordinate-superior relationships, it's unreasonable to expect that the romance will be disclosed. For organizations, it's often a no-win situation.
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