What is 'banksying' & are LGBTQ+ daters more likely to be victims? Sex & dating experts weigh in
Then, add in the diverse types of relationship models out there, from polyamory and open relationships to soft-swapping and Living Apart Together, and things get even trickier to figure out.
And now, a new toxic dating trend is sweeping the nation and leaving dating hopefuls in the lurch. It's called 'banksying,' a clever name for a cruel way to end a relationship by slowly destroying it from the inside out.
But what is 'banksying,' how harmful is it, and are LGBTQ+ people more likely to be the victim or perpetrator of it? We talked to sex and relationship experts to give you the lowdown on this toxic new dating trend.
What is 'banksying,' and where did the term originate?
Bobica10/Shutterstock
Bankysing is a new Gen Z dating term that gets its name from the infamous street artist Banksy, known for his mysterious art that pops up out of nowhere. But instead of a satirical piece of street art that self-destructs — like one of Banksy's paintings did — it's a selfish way to end a relationship to protect yourself by withdrawing emotionally and destroying the relationship from within, so that when the relationship ends, you're prepared and your partner is blindsided.
'The easiest way to describe banksying is as 'quiet quitting' for relationships,' Milla Impola, a sex, condom, and lube expert for ONE Condoms, tells PRIDE. 'One partner decides they're no longer inspired by the relationship and slowly begins to pull away emotionally. They conceal these feelings from their partner because they're not quite ready to jump ship, and they need time to emotionally prepare to part ways. When the time does come to end things, they feel less upset because they've already been preparing, but their partner is often left blindsided and hurt.'
Basically, someone who is 'banksying' their partner has given themselves the opportunity to pre-grieve the end of the relationship, detach emotionally, and begin making plans for their future, while the unsuspecting partner ends up blindsided when the axe finally drops.
How is 'banksying' different than ghosting?
Ghosting is when someone ducks out of a relationship without saying a word. One day, they're just gone and cut off contact. With banksying, you stop reaching out as frequently, don't return phone calls or texts as often, make up excuses to cancel plans, and become more emotionally distant.
'Banksying involves enough interaction, albeit sparse and inconsistent, to sabotage the relationship from the inside,' explains Ally Iseman, a queer, kink-aware certified relationship coach and founder of Passport 2 Pleasure. 'Think of it like this: a ghost leaves nothing behind, like it was never there. Banksy leaves their work behind them, even if it destroys itself.'
Is banksying more harmful than ghosting?
Bankysing may be even more insidious because instead of leaving the relationship without telling you, someone attempting this move is emotionally manipulating their partner instead of admitting they want out. Ghosting may be cruel, but at least it's unambiguous. Banksying leaves your partner in limbo, not knowing why you're withdrawing and making them question the status of the relationship.
According to Iseman, 'Having breadcrumbs of a relationship, even if they are rotting the relationship from the inside, can be hard to step away from' because, unlike with ghosting, 'Banksying leaves you something to hold onto, even if it's elusive and inconsistent.'
Why would someone do this?
Banksying can be tied to people's fear of confrontation, emotional codependency, or lack of communication skills. But according to Anthony Canapi, a marriage and family therapist, LGBTQ+ dating expert, and the founder & CEO of Best Man Matchmaking and Transcend Matchmaking, some people also engage in this behavior because they crave emotional intimacy but 'don't have the bandwidth to commit because it becomes overwhelming." They may also do it because they want the relationship but don't want to put in the work, or they're insecure.
'People who feel they don't deserve love or fear eventual rejection might pull a 'Banksy' before they get hurt and feel it's the easier out rather than being honest,' and they may be hoping the other person will 'get the hint' and end things themselves.
Impola agrees, saying, 'Let's be real: ending relationships usually sucks. While breakups might be hard, showing your partner respect in that final moment is worth it.'
Are LGBTQ+ people more likely to engage in or experience banksying?
Banksying isn't unique to LGBTQ+ relationships, but queer people may be more likely to experience it. 'LGBTQ+ individuals may face unique challenges around communication, identity, or safety in relationships, especially in environments where they don't feel fully accepted,' Impola explains. 'These added complexities could contribute to different ways of navigating breakups, but the core behavior of banksying isn't limited to any one group.'
Healing after being banksy'd
Twinsterphoto/Shutterstock
'Breakups aren't fun, no matter how they go down. If you experience banksying, know that your emotions are valid,' Impola reminds. 'Frustration, sadness, regret… no matter what, it's normal to experience a flood of feelings when a relationship ends unexpectedly.' If you want to confront the person who treated you this way, make sure you go in knowing you might not get the closure you want, and ask yourself if you are ok with that. 'Sometimes the best thing we can do is radically accept what we can't change and move forward with the lessons we've learned,' she advises.
Canapi also recommends not letting yourself fall into the trap of self-blame. It can be hard not to question your own worth when someone ends a relationship in such an emotionally manipulative way, but try to remember how amazing you are. 'They then start thinking they're the issue, when actually, if you've been Banksy'd, it's more about them than you. It's a red flag in disguise,' he says.
What does this toxic dating trend say about modern dating and hookup culture?
Canapi, who is the founder and CEO of two LGBTQ+ matchmaking services, says that while dating apps have made it easier to create 'intense emotional intimacy quickly' there is also a greater chance of harm, especially if you add in love bomdbing, trauma bonding, or banksying.
'Banksying is, at its core, a disappearing act to avoid emotional consequences, and in turn, you're causing so much more harm because it's promoting closure as optional; 'If I were to banksy them, they will get the hint that I'm not interested,' but fail to realize you're leaving someone at a cognitive rumination, where they replay everything trying to find clues or mistakes on what went wrong, when you're the one who has done wrong because you couldn't speak up,' he says.
What should you do if you're considering banksying someone?
If you're feeling the itch to get out of your relationship but think it would be easier to push your partner away and emotionally detach first, ask yourself why. Canapi recommends asking yourself these three questions: 'Am I feeling overwhelmed? Am I scared of intimacy, rejection, or hurting them? Do I genuinely not want this, or am I afraid of being vulnerable or honest?'
And then you need to be prepared to end the relationship in an open and honest way so that you're not wasting their time or your own. 'If you made someone feel seen, safe, or excited, and then go bye bye, your absence echoes loudly. Although it's hard, and it's not fun to be truthful and honest, that's what you signed up for.'
Have you decided to end your relationship and want to do it in a mature way, but have no idea how to start? Canapi has some prompts to get the conversation started.
Try one of these:
I've really enjoyed getting to know you, but I'm not in a place to continue this.
I realized I'm not ready for something deeper. You deserve someone who is.
Canapi says, 'You may be a person trying to navigate modern dating, maybe without the tools or emotional safety to do it well, but there's a way to do it ethically and that respects the other person. Next time, leave clarity, not confusion.'
Sources Cited:
Milla Impola, a sex, condom, and lube expert for ONE Condoms.
Ally Iseman, a queer, kink-aware certified relationship coach and founder of Passport 2 Pleasure.
Anthony Canapi, a marriage and family therapist, LGBTQ+ dating expert, and the founder & CEO of Best Man Matchmaking and Transcend Matchmaking.
This article originally appeared on Pride: What is 'banksying' & are LGBTQ+ daters more likely to be victims? Sex & dating experts weigh in
RELATED
Not getting dating app matches? These 5 common mistakes may be to blame experts say
15 Dating Tips For Gay Introverts, How To Get The Guy Even When You're Shy
15 pieces of dating advice for gay/bi men that actually don't suck
Solve the daily Crossword
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
New York Post
an hour ago
- New York Post
‘Delusional' bride bans Gen Z sister from ‘childfree' wedding — yet demands a gift: ‘You're not mature enough'
This bride's commitment to keeping her big day childless is childish. Banning babies at a formal fête is fair. However, barring your 19-year-old sibling from your alcohol-free nuptials, simply because she's not over the age of 21, but demanding the excluded Gen Z fork over a wedding present, is foul — so says incensed social media savages. 5 A 19-year-old revealed that she's been deemed too young and 'immature' to attend her sister's wedding, but is still expected to give the bride and groom a gift. Yuliia – 'My older half-sister [didn't] invite me to her childfree wedding as I am nineteen, expects a gift,' an enraged, anonymous Redditor titled a post in the platform's 'Family Drama' forum. The offended youngster shared screenshots of the bride-to-be's rude request for a goodie from the wedding registry, despite her refusal to extend an invitation. 'It's super common for people who can't make it to send a small gift,' argued the future newlywed, to which the teen responded, 'Can't make it [is not the same as] not invited.' Talk about unbridled audacity. 5 Social media readers were stunned by the 'delusional' bride's unwillingness to invite her adult sister to the wedding. Ljupco Smokovski – Hosting a child-free matrimonial ceremony is a rising movement among couples heading towards the altar. In fact, a staggering 46% of pairs are keeping kiddos off of their guest lists while tying the knot this year, according to a 2025 wedding trends report via Zola. Still, a few sweethearts are taking the ban a bit too far. Some lovebirds hire wedding nannies to ensure little ones stay out of sight and earshot during their hitching, while others disinvite people with children, rendering their extremely exclusive ceremonies totally tot-less. But when it comes to the bride snubbing her legal-aged little sis, the internet is not on the engaged diva's side. 5 The Gen Z was stunned by her sister's request for a gift even though she was not invited to the wedding. Reddit/weddingshaming 5 The unbending bride argued that the Zoomer was not 'mature enough' to attend adult events. Reddit/weddingshaming 5 Outraged Reddit users agreed with the Gen Z, calling her sister 'crazy' for demanding a wedding gift. Reddit/weddingshaming 'Your sister is delusional,' a commenter assured the 19-year-old. 'This is one of the craziest things I've ever seen,' said a separate supporter. 'Older teens aren't children regarding being invited to a wedding — and mine was child-free.' 'It's not that she doesn't want anyone under drinking age,' another suggested. 'She's just cheap and doesn't want to pay for the extra plate for someone she doesn't care about having there.' One helpful spectator even offered the Zoomer a sweet response to the bridezilla's petition for a present. ''I consulted Reddit. The general consensus was that it is wholly unreasonable to expect children to purchase wedding gifts. That is their parents' responsibility. As a child who is not invited to your wedding, I can't imagine any circumstance where it is my responsibility to buy a wedding gift.''
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
Tweens Keep Saying 'Clock It'—Here's What It Actually Means
Spoiler: It's not about telling time. We were unpacking for a trip when my brother noticed that our grandmother packed three different pairs of sneakers in her suitcase. Without missing a beat, he said, "You act like you're going to work out, but we all know those shoes aren't leaving the bag." All of a sudden, our 12-year-old niece chimed in, raised her eyebrows, opened her palm, tapped her middle finger on her thumb, and said "Clock it." Immediately I thought, *here we go*—another seemingly innocuous set of words that kids are using to get a quick laugh. And it helps that all the adults in the room look increasingly confused as more and more kids in our family erupted in giggles after hearing our niece. So of course, I had to do some digging to help answer my burning questions. What exactly does "clock it" mean, why are kids making that hand motion, and why is all of this so funny? What Does 'Clock It" Mean? The term "clock it" is used to call out a hidden truth or expose someone's real motive in a playful or knowing way. Kids typically say it while tapping their middle or index finger against their thumb, often with a hint of sass. It usually comes right after someone says a remark that cuts to the core of a situation or reveals an unspoken reality. For instance, if a teen says, "You only signed up for soccer so you can hang out with your crush after school," another might reply with "Clock it." Some also say "Clock that tea" instead of "Clock It," which means the same thing. Many speculate that the phrase took off after Justin Bieber's viral encounter in with a restaurant worker, in which he said "You're not getting it. It's not clocking to you that I'm standing on business." The interaction quickly became a meme, as fans noticed that Bieber used the slang term incorrectly. And while many poked fun at him, that didn't stop "clocking" from taking off. Then came Ace, the popular reality TV contestant from the latest season of Love Island, who created a viral song using the phrase with lyrics that even reference the finger gesture. The song took off, and teens began filming TikTok videos mouthing along while using the motion. But that's not the only reason why "clock it" is so popular right now. In fact, the term and all its variations have been used for decades. Where Did 'Clock It' Originate? Spoiler: The term "clock it" did not come from teens. And it didn't originate on TikTok, either. The phrase has roots in drag and ballroom culture, where "to clock" someone meant to notice something about them that might not be immediately obvious, especially something they were trying to hide. It was often used in a "read", which is a playful but cutting remark meant to expose the truth. Over time, "clock it" evolved from a more confrontational or shady phrase to something younger people use in everyday conversations. Thanks to reality shows like Ru Paul's Drag Race, and its prominence on social platforms, it filtered into Gen Z and Gen Alpha's vocabulary. Now tweens use it as a way to call something out, usually something funny, accurate, or quietly Do Kids Do That Hand Gesture with 'Clock It'? The pinched fingers gesture (thumb and middle finger, usually tapping together towards someone) comes from drag and ballroom culture, where callouts were often paired with theatrical flair—snaps, poses, looks. On TikTok, Gen Z and Gen Alpha influencers brought that same performative energy and popularized it among Parents Be Concerned? In most cases, "clock it" is nothing to worry about. Tweens use the term as a way to show off their observational skills or sense of humor. It often reflects growing social awareness and a desire to be seen as perceptive or clever—or to notice what others are simply too distracted to see. That said, like any slang, tone and context matter. If your child is using "clock it" to make fun of someone or as a way to bully others, it's worth checking in. What feels like harmless teasing to one kid can land differently for another. And because this phrase is rooted in drag and queer culture, where it was originally used to push back on societal norms, some LGBTQ+ teens may use "clock it" with a deeper understanding or reclaim it as part of their identity. Ultimately, the tween urge to call things out and be in the know is nothing new. "Clock it" is just this generation's version of "duh" or "busted." So when your kid hits you with a perfectly timed "clock it" just take it as a sign that they're reading the room. I just don't advise using it back on them. Trust me—I tried it with my niece and she clocked me. And it was not fun getting laughed at by a bunch of middle schoolers. Read the original article on Parents Solve the daily Crossword
Refinery29
3 hours ago
- Refinery29
Watching Becky G Embrace Her Gray Hair Helped Me Change How I See Mine
When Becky G recently went on TikTok and revealed weeks' worth of grown out grays down the front and middle parts of her hair, I realized something: I couldn't think of ever seeing another Latina celebrity around my age admit she has gray hairs. As the 28-year-old Mexican-American singer sarcastically talked about her 'old age' and being a 'viejita,' at least in the eyes of TikTok's generally younger user base, she tilted her bouncy hair downward and ran her fingers through silvery strands. 'No, I do not care that my canas are showing,' Becky says in the video. 'It's natural. I call them my sparkles and so I need my sparkle gang to pull up, because I know I'm not the only one that doesn't just feel bonita but is 'stressita' too.' As a graying brunette, this helped me feel seen. I found my first silver strand in middle school and have been begrudgingly dying my grays since college. I found solace while scrolling through the thousands of comments on Becky G's video as countless other people commented 'sparkle gang,' shared their graying stories, and even replied with photos of themselves letting their grays grow out as well. ' "No, I do not care that my canas are showing. It's natural. I call them my sparkles, and so I need my sparkle gang to pull up." becky g ' 'Found my first gray at 14 years old,' Becky G wrote in her caption. 'Could be that I am the eldest daughter of a Mexican-American household, started working at 9, the fight-or-flight response, which involves the release of norepinephrine, can contribute to hair graying, simply genetics, or ALL OF THE ABOVE. No pues como que no voy a tener canas guys, like be for real.' It's 2025 and still rare to see Latina celebrities open up publicly about having gray hair, let alone a Gen Z star like Becky G. In a Vogue 'Beauty Secrets' interview, actress Salma Hayek also recently shared that at 58 years old, she doesn't dye her hair. But when she does want to tame her 'rebellious' grays, she swipes on some Benefit's Roller Lash mascara. Latina creators like Heren Mercedes, behind Silver Curls, and Kat Lovelis are also making content to help other women embrace their grays at any age. Yet we know the burden on women to maintain youthful appearances isn't limited to Hollywood or the online world. The stigma held toward Latina with gray hair permeates across age, income, and the many cultures that comprise Latine identity. Latine beauty standards generally mirror, if not amplify, Western societal ideals, which discourage women from displaying any visible signs of aging. It's not surprising women feel pressure to conform, given studies have found that women with gray hair are more likely to be perceived as less trustworthy and are likelier to experience ageism. These factors indicate that there's a social cost of not following beauty norms, explains Katie M. Duarte, a postdoctoral fellow in Latinx Studies at Smith College and researcher on the natural hair movement among Dominican women. ' "Latine beauty standards generally mirror, if not amplify, Western societal ideals, which discourage women from displaying any visible signs of aging." zameena mejia ' 'Because gray hair is associated with being 'old' and, therefore, supposedly incompetent or undesirable, women with gray hairs are socially encouraged to dye their silver strands for a youthful appearance to combat these stereotypes. This is true regardless of race or ethnicity, as many women deal with the beauty standard and social pressures of appearing young,' Duarte shares. 'Women who forgo dying their gray hairs report that others consider them less competent in the workplace, more physically fragile, and less attractive. For some women, the decision of dying their gray strands comes from personal choice and preferences, while for others it is about avoiding these social stigmas of 'letting go' of their beauty and feeling socially invisible and, therefore, socially irrelevant.' Duarte also calls attention to the role the media plays in reinforcing these standards. While beauty standards vary across Latine communities, generally, the ideal beautiful hair look for Latinas is understood as dark or blonde, long, straight or wavy (but not kinky), and it should be obviously styled, looking feminine and distinct from men's hair. Think: Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez, Karol G, Shakira, and Selena Gomez. While dominant beauty standards will continue to privilege straight over kinky textures and presumably youthful, dark or blonde hair over gray hair, Duarte notes that the growth of the natural hair movement — in which some Latinas, especially Afro-Latinas, are accepting their naturally kinky, curly, or wavy hair — and moments of vulnerability from celebrities and influencers can help other Latinas accept their graying hair. ' "Because gray hair is associated with being 'old' and, therefore, supposedly incompetent or undesirable, women with gray hairs are socially encouraged to dye their silver strands for a youthful appearance to combat these stereotypes." Katie M. Duarte ' 'For Latinas that have embraced their natural hair, many have also wanted to stay away from chemically altering hair treatments, like hair dye,' Duarte says. 'I believe there will be more Latinas accepting their naturally graying hair as those in the natural hair movement age into gray and silver strands.' In Becky G's TikTok, she added that viewers might notice her grays in videos because covering her grays was expensive, time consuming, and because, ultimately, they are natural. When she asked others to chime in if they also have gray hair, one commenter, Annette Greenham, left a photo of herself — smiling while rocking long, styled gray hair — and wrote that she started getting gray hairs as a kid. 'I started growing gray hair in elementary school. I felt embarrassed that I had them at a very young age,' Greenham tells Refinery29 Somos. While growing up in a multigenerational Mexican household, she saw her family members covering and dying their gray hair every few weeks, but no one ever explicitly talked about it. As an adult, she started dying her hair almost every two weeks as she felt the pressure to maintain her look for holidays and get-togethers. But in 2022, she saw people grow out their hair due to the Covid-19 lockdown conditions and she decided to let hers grow out as well. 'I feel so much better now that I let my gray hair grow out. My mom has now even started to let hers grow out, too,' Greenham says. 'I am happy with the decision of growing out my grays and I get a lot of compliments.' We spoke with five additional Latina women who shared their journey toward accepting their own gray hair, how they have overcome cultural norms, and how this decision has impacted their relationships with loved ones and themselves. Jacqueline Cordero, 34, California I was around 12 years old when I became aware of my grays. Middle school was really stressful, but my mom reassured me it was my Puerto Rican father's genetics. There weren't many, but they definitely stood out against my long dark hair. Students and even teachers pointed them out. As I grew older, they showed up more. While I was in high school, I was no stranger to a straightening iron and quickly learned my grays were unruly. I could never really control them. Then in my 20s, as I began a career and real adult life, I had a mix of my hereditary grays and my stress-induced grays. Society told me grays were a sign of stress and age and something worth hiding. My mother would always encourage me, saying they were gifts of wisdom. Still, she was influenced by U.S. beauty standards. Her face card has always been incredible, but societal pressures prevailed when it came to covering her grays. She allowed me to color my hair for fun, and even though covering her grays was a must, she never put that expectation on me for my grays. As I'm navigating my new identity in motherhood and my 30s, I've thought about covering them up in an attempt to look more youthful. I'm grateful for my Trinidadian and Puerto Rican genes for prolonging wrinkles and other signs of aging, but the grays have become their own entity within my hair. My grays symbolize my heritage, my family. They represent all the growth I've made in my life. They are a reminder that I'm right where I need to be and showing up how I need to. Anyuli Ramos Lopez, 33, Texas The first time I noticed I had gray hair was around senior year of college. I was 22. At first, I was embarrassed and in denial that I was graying early. I would pluck them out, dye my hair, or just style my hair differently to cover it up. Straight out of college, I started teaching in rural Texas and our salary was not one to be envied. I was paying rent, bills, and bought a new car. I would go to a salon to get my roots dyed every six-to-nine weeks because of how fast my hair grew out and the price each time was $90. I tried to box dye my hair to help with the cost, but that was damaging my hair. Around the summer of 2019, I decided to embrace it and grow out my grays. I went to a salon and dyed a part of my hair that grew out platinum blonde so that it could 'blend,' and when Covid-19 hit, I just let it grow out. Even to this day, my 83-year-old grandmother still dyes her hair to hide her grays. My grandfather on my paternal side had a head full of grays, so when mine started growing out, my father would call them brillos. He was proud that I had inherited this from his side of the family. I lost my father back in 2020 to the pandemic, and I feel as though my hair is a part of him that I can carry with me every day. I've come to truly love my grays. It symbolizes my individuality and how much I have grown in my own self-confidence. I'm not going to lie, I do smile and feel 'cool' when I get compliments from strangers. I love that I have used less chemicals on my hair, so my natural curls and waves have been able to come back. Kat Lovelis, 30, North Carolina I noticed my first gray strands at 15 years old. I immediately yanked them out because I didn't want to feel old. Growing up, I didn't really hear much about gray hair because my mom would always dye her hair. The ladies in my family would encourage me to cover mine up. I guess they didn't want to look old, and that pressure passed on to me, too. That sent an unspoken message that gray wasn't something to be shown. I grew up watching my dad have full gray hair, but he would cover it up, too. My mom always dyed her hair. No one really embraced it. I started going gray at 29 after I decided I no longer wanted to keep covering them up. At first, I didn't like them, but as they grew longer, I started to love the salt and pepper look. Now, my family loves my gray hair and it has inspired my mom and sister to let their gray hair grow out. To me, my gray hair symbolizes loving all of me, even the parts that used to make me feel insecure. It's a daily reminder to accept myself fully and not feel like I have to hide or change to be beautiful. I love that celebrities like Becky G and Salma Hayek are embracing their grays and encouraging others to do the same. Embracing my gray hair has helped me gain so much confidence. I used to feel embarrassed and try to hide them but now, I show them off proudly. They're part of who I am. Samantha Carranza, 32, Texas When I got my first couple of gray hairs at 28, I felt so confused. At 30, I noticed more grays coming in. I started to feel insecure when I realized I couldn't pull my hair back without the grays being noticeable. As a little girl, I noticed my grandmother always dying her hair to cover up her grays. I never heard her complaining about it, but my grandmother never exposed her grays in public. My mother now does the same. Looking back, I think witnessing my abuelita and my mami dye their grays had influenced me to want to do the same. I recently got my hair professionally done and instead of covering my grays up completely, like I have in the past, I decided to blend in my grays with a new hairstyle. I had every intention to get my hair done and cover up my grays, but Becky G's TikTok post really inspired me and made me feel less alone. I want to break the cycle by embracing my grays. It symbolizes strength and resilience. It reminds me of being a mother and of going through difficult seasons but still pushing through. I want to be able to inspire other women to love themselves completely. I have vivid memories as a little girl of when my great grandmother would visit from Mexico and I would brush her hair or run my fingers through her beautiful thick white hair. I want one day for my granddaughter to run her fingers through my hair. Dulce Maria Rodriguez, 32, Texas The first time I noticed I had gray hair I was around 17 years old. I would pluck them out of embarrassment. Around the age of 20, it started to get more noticeable and no one in my family embraced it. Funnily enough, even my dad covered his gray hair. I started dying my hair black or dark red with box dye at home because it's all I could afford. My parents didn't understand why I dyed it, even though they did the same thing. Growing up in a Latine household, I was told gray hair was caused by stress. But I never understood why I was getting gray hair so young if I wasn't feeling stressed. Looking back, I realize all of the pressure I was under as a kid and understand I had grown used to underlying stress for things such as always needing to translate for my parents and getting scolded for not understanding everything. Hearing, 'Entonces para qué vas a la escuela!' At 21, I took a more subtle approach to my gray hair. Instead of dying it one color, I incorporated highlights to blend with my grays. At first it was a style that was 'in,' but as time went on I started embracing it. Now, I feel like I have broken a cycle. Embracing my gray hair has been a journey. I am now 32 and I don't feel like I need to be embarrassed about my hair. I am lucky to be able to enhance it with the help from my hairstylist, but I feel empowered now. I wish younger me was as open about her struggles with gray hair as I am now, but I feel like it's just the way we as women are. My advice to younger generations is to be open about your feelings about getting gray hair. It's valid to feel insecure and the emotions have to be felt, but it's hair. Speak to your family members and believe them when they say it isn't a big deal because we are all headed to gray hair at some point, but a few of us get our sparkle sooner.
