
Crawl Some of Dallas's Best Barbecue and Tacos With a Chef From a Michelin-Starred Restaurant
De Lellis joined Eater to visit a few favorite local haunts he hadn't tried yet and talk about the culture clash of going from Europe to Vegas to Texas, his thoughts on consomme (and consomé), and hot tips for shaking a good espresso martini.
Hurtado Barbecue
Our first stop is the newest location of Hurdato Barbecue in the Dallas Farmers Market in Uptown, where we order the El Jefe, which has one third of a pound each of brisket, pulled pork, spare ribs, turkey, burnt ends, and sausage. We add on sides of Mexican street corn, and De Lellis insists on a vegetable with actual fiber in it, so we also get the creamy red slaw.
It was a bit of a negotiation to find a barbecue spot to visit with De Lellis because he'd already visited several that I initially suggested. He has truly been busy learning about Texas barbecue. The barbecue destinations have become the first places he takes visiting friends and family out to eat. 'I was surprised that in Las Vegas on the Strip there isn't barbecue. There are tourists from all over the world, and for most of them that equals American food. I never had barbecue until I moved to Texas,' he says, adding that all the Europeans he's taken to eat barbecue have loved it.
This chef knows barbecue.
From the appearance of the plate, De Lellis's expectations were high for the smoked turkey, but the pulled pork ended up being his favorite bite. 'I love all braised meats, shredded meats. In restaurants or for myself I like to cook beef cheeks and oxtail, and it reminds me of that,' he says. The pork rub and sauce are so flavorful that they overpower the rest of the tray. He suggests it would be good on a Cubano sandwich, and doesn't immediately shut down the idea of a Hurtado collaboration with Mamani, so we'll be looking out for it.
The one thing that stumps him on the platter is the chile-dusted Mexican corn, Hurtado's take on traditional elote. This was the moment that the former chef from a three-Michelin-starred kitchen had the concept of taco seasoning, a blend of chili powder, cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder, explained to him by a Texan. Unlike the rest of us, he probably won't be picking up a jar in the grocery store. De Lellis will make his own. 'I get the cumin a lot, which is good because it brings a freshness to all the cheese and fat, almost cutting it,' he says. De Lellis notes that Hurtado and Terry Blacks do good sides, a small detail he feels is significant. 'For me, it is the small details,' he says. 'I judge the sides, because you can see the attention to detail. At most of the places you go, people don't know how to cook green beans and serve them undercooked, which I think is disgusting. Small details show how much care is taken every step of the way.'
De Lellis says he has smoked meats before but not to make barbecue. 'I would love to learn and understand the craft from a pitmaster around here,' he tells me, noting that even in a French fine dining menu there may be some element of barbecue technique that he could incorporate.
Chilangos Tacos
The next stop is for birria tacos at Chilangos Tacos on Ross Avenue. De Lellis has already tried tacos, but has had no exposure to birria, so it's on. The initiated know this Old East Dallas location looks like your average strip mall spot from the parking lot, but inside is a party marked by a trompo, bright colors, and people queuing up for dripping, red-stained quesabirria tacos. We have to fight to get a little table after ordering a quesabirria platter. 'It does remind me of the taco joint I used to go to in Vegas, Tacos El Gordo,' he says, noting those were likely the first tacos he ever had, not long after he arrived in 2010.
Chilangos never disappoints. Courtney E. Smith
'They do traditional tacos and it makes you feel like you're in Mexico.' He misses the Latin cooks he worked alongside in the kitchen in Vegas, who made their food for family meals, which he says was always the best. 'Mr. Robuchon loved Mexican food, and he would always ask the cooks to make it for him,' De Lellis says. 'I love the way Mexicans approach food, how they season it, even the beautiful ingredients they use.'
When the birria hits the table (well, really when De Lellis politely picks it up after our order is called), he eyeballs the consomé and asks how we eat the spread. I tell him to sprinkle the onion and cilantro mix onto the quesabirria tacos and then dip them into the fatty broth made with meat drippings. After the first bite, he grabs the cup of consomé to try it. 'I love consomme,' he says, adding that it's the 'heart and soul' of his cooking, like a quintessential French chef would. 'When I did tasting menus back in Vegas, and before dessert I served a shot of consomme to the guests, something fresh like lemongrass with lime with chicken. It feels good after a heavy meal and cleans your palate.'
Christophe De Lellis sits down for his first experience with birria. Courtney E. Smith
This consomé, obviously, is not the same, he notes, but it does require the same building blocks. 'Whatever stock or broth you make, it is the most important thing,' he says. 'I prefer using three to five ingredients. That's why I love Mexican food. Robuchon told me this quote and I say it all the time and live by it: 'It is easy to make it complicated, but complicated to make it simple.''
Before we dive into the tacos, De Lellis tells me he is 50/50 on preferring flour tortillas over corn, but after we tear through the birria, he expresses a deeper appreciation for Chilango's crispy, savory corn tortillas. In fact, he's ready to not only sing its praises but to call Chilango's quesabirria one of his favorite tacos he has had in the country.
Saint Valentine
Finishing strong with a cocktail at Saint Valentine. Courtney E. Smith
De Lellis orders the Sazerac and proclaims the fried olives a 'good snack.' I tell him that the Italian grocery store, which is kitty-corner from the bar, is one of the beloved spaces in town for dry goods, imported oils and vinegars, and a killer sandwich shop. Many Dallasites may not know that De Lellis was making bar bites himself at Colette for several months. When I stopped in roughly a year ago, he served me chicken fingers, caviar-topped potato chips, and sliders with a tomato confit he spent two hours making (yes, they were really good). 'I love to have a good cocktail with poutine,' he says, reminiscing about eating Irish nachos in Vegas. We all make weird food decisions when we drink, clearly.
After a drink, De Lellis is ready to spill some secrets. 'I want to tell you something in confidence,' he says with a glint in his eye after we get into a discussion about the irrepressible popularity of the espresso martini. 'For a few months they were short staffed at Colette, and I was in the back, shaking espresso martinis,' he says, laughing. 'I had so much fun doing it, but I don't know those guys do. My arms were so sore. They sell so many, you can never take them off the menu.' We agree that a real espresso martini must be made with actual espresso, not coffee liqueur or cold brew.
If you see De Lellis out and about, checking out Dallas bars, he says his go-to drink order is a Negroni Sbagliato. Send one over and tell him your favorite barbecue or taco spot and what to order there. He's well on his way to finding his standbys in Dallas, but a little extra help never hurts.
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Atlantic
14 minutes ago
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A Requiem for Puff Daddy
Black cool is one of America's great innovations, right up there with basketball, blue jeans, and the internet. It blends several forms—music, sports, fashion, speech, ways of cutting through space—into a wholly distinctive, globally influential aesthetic. There are French fashion houses in thrall to silhouettes first spotted in Harlem, Japanese men who have devoted their lives to spinning jazz records in Shibuya, and lavish murals of Tupac Shakur as far apart as Sydney and Sierra Leone. Sean Combs, the disgraced record mogul, certainly did not invent Black cool. But like Miles Davis, Muhammad Ali, and Michael Jordan before him—and like Jay-Z, Kanye West, and many others who followed—for a flicker of time he was its most formidable ambassador. That moment coincided with my adolescence, which is why the revelation of Combs's extravagant cruelties —the depravity with which he used all that he'd gained—has left my childhood friends and me feeling so betrayed. We had looked up to Diddy, whom I will always think of as Puff Daddy or Puffy. When we were at our most impressionable, he taught us what to want and gave us a model for how to behave and succeed. Seeing him fall apart in our middle age feels like a kind of heartbreak. The verve and swagger he injected into our childhood dreams have curdled into something rancid. Certain photographs of Puffy are permanently etched into my memory. In 1995, dipped in a flowing black-and-gold Versace Barocco silk chemise, liberally unbuttoned to flex a thick Cuban link anchored by a diamond-encrusted Jesus piece—the definitive signifier of inner-city affluence. September '96, on the cover of Vibe magazine: head peering from behind his greatest protégé, the Notorious B.I.G.; signature blackout shades; a perfect S-curl relaxing the weft of his fade. The cool he exuded in these moments was inspirational, even masterful. My friends and I had never seen anything like it so fully pervade the culture, certainly not from someone we felt we could relate to. I have not admired Combs for decades now, since well before his trial this year. But I will always be partial to the Puff Daddy of the '90s: from 1993, when he founded his record label, Bad Boy Entertainment, through the spectacular rise and death of the Notorious B.I.G., and peaking around 1998 during hip-hop's 'shiny-suit era,' which he pioneered with Ma$e and the Lox. By the time I got to college, Puffy was even wealthier, and my cultural references had begun to change. I vaguely remember the preposterous images of him strolling beneath a blazing Mediterranean sun while his valet spread a parasol over his head. He was mainly in the news because of a shooting at Club New York, which resulted in bribery and gun-possession charges against him and a highly publicized trial (he was acquitted). For my friends and me, his shocking newness had begun to fade. Back in his prime, though, Puffy conveyed a sense of youthful ambition that we revered. He was able to transition from sidekick and hype man to dealmaker and multiplatinum performer. Before turning 25, he had founded his own culture-defining business—soon-to-be empire—and knew precisely how to leverage his growing fortune into social capital. More than his success, we were struck by two qualities that seemed novel to us. The first was the amount of effort he openly displayed, which counterintuitively amplified his cool. Puffy made no pretense of obscuring the maniacal work required to achieve his goals. When he closed a million-dollar deal, he slammed the phone down and screamed. (Years later, he would become one of the original hustle-culture influencers on Twitter.) He showed us that flourishing was not a condition one had to be born into—that luxury and labor were connected. The second quality was his ability to make Black people and Black culture—even its less compromising, more street-inflected iteration—feel at home in places, such as the Hamptons, that had not previously welcomed them. Puffy's motto 'I'ma make you love me' felt innocent and aspirational to us, not least because he actually achieved it. We were still many years away from realizing just what he would do with all the love he was given. Helen Lewis: The non-exoneration of Diddy Puff Daddy seemed to us then like a Black man utterly free in a moment of expanding opportunity. Before the age of social media, before we'd ever stepped on a plane, Puffy represented our first intimation of an unrestricted way of being-for-self in the world. On the one hand, he was the antidote to the soul-crushing squareness of upwardly mobile middle-class life that we so feared—degrees, office jobs, bills. On the other hand, he was perfectly assimilated into the good life of the American mainstream, to which we desperately craved access. This made him dramatically unlike his peers. Tupac and Biggie were confrontational, and look where it got them. Rap entrepreneurs such as Master P and Brian 'Baby' Williams were rich but ghettoized; any number of establishments wouldn't seat them. Puffy, by contrast, looked like a marvelous solution to the problem of success and authenticity that my friends and I had been struggling to solve. Yet we were suffering from a kind of myopia. And it wasn't unique to us. The generation after us put their faith in Kanye West, whose most recent contribution to the culture is a single titled 'Heil Hitler.' Role models are like seasons. One passes irretrievably into the next, but for a moment they might reveal possibilities that outlast and surpass them.
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I worked the night shift and spent it chatting with a guy in the UK. He flew to the US to meet me, and we've been together for 27 years.
Back in 1997, I was working the night shift when I met a man online who lived in the UK. We started chatting every night for hours, and after six months, he flew to the US to meet me. After dating for three months, we got engaged, and we've been together ever since. In 1997, I met my husband thanks to an obnoxious coworker. I was a 27-year-old data entry clerk at the California Department of Food and Agriculture. My coworkers were other recent graduates making ends meet. We were friends — all of us except one. This particular coworker, as she liked to remind us, came from a wealthy family. She didn't talk to us often — that is, except when she felt like bragging, as she did the day she trounced into the office to announce her brother had won a radio. My coworkers and I decided we, too, would win something. And our prize would be cool because it would be won online. (Remember, in 1997, the internet was a shiny new toy.) Unfortunately, I was the only one with a computer, as very few people had personal computers then. So, every night, I entered all of us into a plethora of competitions. I got in the habit and kept at it even after I got a much better-paying job, working the night shift at a publishing plant. In the process, I discovered a site that paid virtual coins for clicking on other webpages. One of the sites it paid me to visit was American Singles, a simple and slightly boring bulletin board. As I was about to log out, I met a 26-year-old guy calling himself Dionysus. We immediately hit it off, and I stayed logged on. We chatted every night for 6 months He was finishing his degree, and though he was in the UK, because I was working the night shift, it was basically like we were in the same time zone. We talked about everything, for about six hours each night for six months. I told him things I hadn't shared with anyone else. In fact, I got so wrapped up in talking to him that I completely forgot to keep entering contests. I chatted with abandon, completely unaware that he was paying for the internet by the minute. When his bill came, he decided it would be cheaper to fly to the US to meet me in California. He asked if that would be OK, and I said yes. Then, he came to the US to visit me I was both anxious and excited, and those co-workers, with whom I was still friends, didn't help. They asked how I knew the man I was talking to wasn't a 60-year-old grandmother. I didn't; I'd only learned three months into chatting that his real name was Adrian. His timing was also unfortunate. At the time, there was a story all over the news about a stalker using the internet to prey on a young girl. So, when I told my mom a guy I met online was coming, she panicked. "He's an ax murderer, I'm driving down," she said. I begged her not to come, but our conversation did nothing to alleviate the apprehension that had been building. A stranger from another country would soon be staying in my apartment. Was this a good idea? It was a bit awkward at first, but we got through it When we finally met, we discovered a few cultural differences. Though English people generally don't tend to have a flair for the dramatic, picking up stakes and coming to a new country just to meet someone you've been chatting with online is pretty bold. So, Adrian tried to compensate during our first visit by making his surroundings a bit more English. On his first night in the US, we had pizza. I opened the box and took a slice. He sat staring at it. "Do you have a knife and fork?" he inquired. I assured him I did. "Can I have them?" I gaped, and watched with amusement as he attempted to eat a pizza with utensils. After a while, he gave up and ate with his hands. (When we went to the UK to meet his family, I understood. You can't eat British pizza any other way.) Since pizza was not an unalloyed success, I decided to take him to Starbucks, thinking, who doesn't know about Starbucks? It turned out, the British. (The chain's first store opened in London in 1998, and Adrian had never been to one before. He asked me if it was named after Battlestar Galactica.) Welcome to America. But we persevered and, over time, learned one another's routines, insecurities, and quirks. When it got serious, I took him to meet my mom. She really liked him — possibly because he passed the test of not hacking me to death. We dated for about three months after he came to the US. During that time, we toured San Francisco and camped on the beach in Monterey. Then, he asked me to go to the UK for two weeks to meet his family. His family was incredibly welcoming, and one of his friends took a week out of his life to show me their corner of England. I loved it, and I loved his family. When we got back to my apartment in Davis, we settled down to watch a documentary about mummification. As the narrator described the process, Adrian asked me to marry him. I said yes, and we eloped in 1999. It's been 27 years since we met in person. We are now 54 and 53 years old, and of course, we are still chatting. Read the original article on Business Insider Solve the daily Crossword


Buzz Feed
2 hours ago
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I Watched 'Jaws' For The First Time & Here's My Reaction
Jaws is officially 50 years old. It was Steven Spielberg's second film (can you believe that?), and it blew up at the box office in 1975, making it the first big summer blockbuster ever. Oh, yeah, it also won three Academy Awards, NBD... But even after all these accolades, I have never seen it... until now. So grab your chum bucket (aka popcorn), and watch the movie with me for the 50th anniversary below: Cool, cool, cool, cool... we're just starting off with the Jaws theme song. This is fine...I'm fine. Oh, look, now we're hanging out with the youths while they have a bonfire. And this man approached a woman... who was hanging by herself, might I add. Sir, stay in your lane. Now they're running toward the beach because Chrissie wants to go swimming?? Girl, it's in the middle of the night! Why do you think this is a good idea?? (I can already tell, I'm too old to hang with these youths...) "I'm not drunk!!" said a very "sober" nameless man as he ran after her. *facepalm* Wait... now Chrissie is in the ocean by herself... in the middle of the night?? In this economy??? And this man, who is NAMELESS, is struggling to take his clothes off because he's "not drunk"? This isn't going to end well. However, Chrissie's footwork? 10/10 And the Jaws music is back... Damn, you, American composer and conductor John Williams... damn you. Bruce got her!! Chrissie is screaming for her life! And this NAMELESS man is just lying on the beach?? Absolutely not. Why are you doing this to me so early in the movie, Steven Spielberg?? So now it's the following morning, and we're at Martin and Ellen Brody's house... AND THEIR SON HAS A CUT ON HIS HAND?? It's too early for this. What is going on with the youths in this town?? Okay, Martin and Ellen are so cute together. A healthy couple in a thriller movie? I'll take it. Also, can we talk about how great this shot is? You find out he's the chief of the Amity Police Department with perfect positioning of the car behind the fence, and the color contrast is *chef kiss.* "And nobody saw her go into the water?" "Somebody could have, but I was sort of... passed out." YOU DID THIS, NAMELESS MAN! Oh, no... they found Chrissie. Well, thanks to Polly, we finally figured out how Martin's son hurt his hand: Apparently, kids have been karate chopping picket fences. *shakes fists* Youths. Now Martin needs to go to the store to get supplies to create "beach closed" signs. A man of many talents... "This stuff is not going to help me in August. ... You haven't got one thing I ordered. Not a beach umbrella, not a sun lounger, no beach balls. If I can't get service..." Okay, sir, in the background, you don't need to be rude to the store owner! Where is that shark when we need him... #sharkattackonland "You're going to shut down the beaches on your own authority? ... Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars..." Oh, this mayor is the devil, isn't he? Capitalism at its finest. I don't like how much the camera is focusing on the dog... Or this boy... "Are you okay?" "Everything is fine, it's fine..." Don't hide your anxiety, Martin! Tell your wife how you feel!!! Also, props to Ellen for being a supportive wife. "If the kids going into the water is worrying you, they can play on the beach." #morehealthycouplesinfilm "We know all about you, Chief. You don't go into the water at all, do you?" I don't condone making fun of old men, but HOW DARE YOU, HARRY. Don't bring up Martin's traumas to his face. Martin is right: That is some "bad hat, Harry." Now, go back into the water where you belong. Ugh, I knew it. The owner is calling for his dog, Pippet. The dog didn't deserve this, Steven Spielberg! Okay, you (kinda) won me back, Steven. Only because you did this iconic dolly zoom shot when Bruce unfortunately killed the kid and the dog. #justiceforpippet "Any special questions?" "Is that $3,000 bounty on the shark cash or check?" Oh, hell no. A kid (and a dog) just died, sir. Go straight to jail!! The absolute worst (yet best) introduction to a new character ever??? I might say so. My body will never recover from this sound. "I don't want no volunteers. I don't want no mates. ... $10,000 for me, by myself. For that, you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing." Uhhhh, yeah, I would trust this guy with my whole life. Give this fisherman all your money to kill this shark!! For the boy, for Pippet!!! "Oh, you scared me!" He scared you, Ellen?? You were the one who snuck up behind him while he was reading about sharks! At least she forces him to stop reading so he can fall asleep. "Wanna get drunk and fool around?" Get it. #morehealthycouplesinmovies OHHHHHHH, Matt Hooper has entered the chat!! And so has the rest of New England!! Everyone is trying to get that $3,000 reward from the boy's mom to kill the shark, but everyone is not thinking straight!! Why are so many people trying to get into a small boat?? Why was a person holding dynamite so casually?? It feels like Martin is trying to control a bunch of wild children!! Is this what parenting is like?? "Gentlemen, the officer asked me to tell you that you are overloading the boat!" "Ah, get out of here..." "Ha, ha... they're all going to die." This feels a little too close to what's happening in today's political world. *facepalm* I'm not triggered, you're triggered. WHY ARE THESE DOGS ON A BOAT WHILE A MAN IS THROWING CHUM INTO THE OCEAN?!?!?! Does no one care about dogs in this movie?? I give up! *Throws myself into the ocean* Oh, Matt, who is the marine biologist, asked to see Chrissie... and she's in this wash basin... Oh, Chrissie. I'll never forgive you, nameless man!! #justiceforchrissie Ah, so they think they caught THE SHARK... but Matt has other opinions on the matter. "The fact is the bite radius on this animal is different than the wounds on the victim. I want to be sure. You want to be sure. ... Let's cut it open. Whatever it's eaten in the last 24 hours is bound to still be in there, and then we'll be sure." That's right, Matty, SPEAK YOUR TRUTH!! Lord, the mayor has OPINIONS on Matty's professional analysis of the situation??? OF COURSE HE DOES!! "Look, fellas, let's be reasonable, huh?" Reasonable, Larry?? Reasonable? I'LL SHOW YOU REASONABLE!! The boy's mom came to see Martin and SLAPPED HIM! "I just found out that a girl got killed here last week... and you knew it." What a heartbreaking scene... and she's 100% right. Her boy is dead because of the choices the town made just to get "summer dollars." What a disgrace! And Larry, the devil — ahem — the mayor, had the audacity to say she was wrong???? Let me at him!! Thankfully, Martin said she wasn't wrong. DAMN STRAIGHT!! That woman lost her son because of you, Larry!! Well, I'm officially a part of the Matt Hooper club. Why? I'm so glad you asked: #1 He invited himself over and brought TWO different wine bottles because he didn't know what the Brodys were serving for dinner.#2 He asked if anyone was eating the full plate of food that was on the table, which was clearly not made for him.#3 He began to tell Martin that he should let the wine breathe, as Martin stopped giving a fuck and poured himself a giant glass. Also, add me to the Martin Brody fan club, too. His wife: "Martin hates boats. Martin hates water. Martin sits in his car when we go onto the ferry to the mainland. I guess it's a childhood thing. There's a clinical name for it..." Martin: "Drowning." "I can do anything... I'm the chief of police." YES, PREACH, MARTIN, PREACH. Stand in your power and drink that giant-ass glass of wine! Cue Mariah Carey's "Hero". "And when a hero comes along..." #4 reason why I'm in the Matt Hooper club: He's an encouraging "friend"... Matt: "I gotta find [the shark] right now; he's a night "ON THE WATER?"Matt: "Well, if we're looking for a shark, we're not going to find him on the land."Martin: "Yeah, but I'm not drunk enough to go on a boat."Matt: "Yes, you are."Martin: "No, I'm not."Matt: "Yes, you are!"Martin: "I can't do that."Matt: "Yes, you can." Seems like Martin found a larger "glass" for his boat ride! You won't catch him wine-ing about it. (I'm sorry, I had to.) JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH!! What is going on with this abandoned boat they found?!?! "We will be open for business." Even after EVERYTHING that has happened, this m*therf*cker still doesn't want to close the beaches? I've never hated a character more. Sorry for the swear words, familia, but my god. I need a "Martin-sized" cup of wine right about now. These families have no idea a people-eating shark is in the water! And Larry "the Devil" is asking this person and his family to get into the water, KNOWING there is a shark somewhere out there. Somebody hold me back because I'm about to jump through the TV screen. Well, look at that, LARRY. There's a shark, and someone else has died! You're lucky Martin and Ellen's kid got out alive!!! Oh, NOW Larry realizes what he's done?? "I was acting in the town's best interest. ... My kids were on that beach, too." Don't you dare! Just sign the damn papers Martin is giving you to hire the shark murderer and go on your way, sir! #justiceforpippet Oh, this fisherman like hates-hates sharks. "What am I going to tell the kids?" "Tell them I'm going fishing." OMG, where did this sweat around my eyes come from?? Ah, look at these two becoming best friends... JK, they hate each other's chum guts. "He's gone under the boat. I think he's gone under the boat!" WTF does that mean, QUINT? What does that mean?!?! Quint: "Marlin, Stingray bit through this piano wire? Don't you tell me my business again." Yeah, I'm gonna steal that. Oh, and let's sketch this on the biggest billboard we find, too: "Well, it proves one thing, Mr. Hooper: It proves that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're wrong." SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! BRUCE HAS RISEN!!! Martin has risen!!! "You're gonna need a bigger boat." (Also, is this the first full look of Bruce's face??? An hour-ish into the movie??? Such a smart idea to lead up to this reveal!!) Can we talk about how this scene would never be shot today? A real boat, in the real ocean, with real water? Give us realism, please and thank you! #2 reason why I'm a part of the Martin Brody fan club: "Martin, move, move, move!" "I'm not going out there!" "Go beyond the edge of the barrels. Further out!" "WHY? What for?" "I need to have something in the foreground to give it some scale!" "Foreground my ass!" FIRST SHOT!!! But he disappeared! Omg, my hair is falling out from all the stress. Wait, are Quint and Matt actually becoming besties after trying to fight a shark all day??? Look at them!! Oh... is this why Quint hates sharks? He was on the USS Indianapolis, where the boat was sunk by a Japanese submarine, and sailors were fighting for their lives in shark-infested I don't blame him... Okay, it's the next day and BRUCE IS BACK!! And Quint smashed the hell out of the radio with a bat while Martin was trying to radio in the Coast Guard for help!! He's gone cuckoo for Coco Puffs!! SECOND SHOT!!! AND A THIRD SHOT, too!! Quint won't quit!!! They tried to tie Bruce to the boat to bring him in, but he's too powerful!! I wasn't expecting Bruce to be a beast like this!!! Now I understand how this shark made people terrified of the ocean in the '70s!! Good news is: Bruce can't stay underwater with three barrels attached!! haha SUCK IT, BRUCE!! Of course, Bruce is angry and decides to chase them... of course!! Yeah, I'm never going into the ocean again. But their boat is falling apart as they try to go back to the shore to drown Bruce. Why didn't anyone tell me the last hour of the movie is just straight chaos?!?! Welp, I guess the only option is to put Matty into the shark cage so he can poison Bruce up close. This is fine... he's fine. Oh, no!! He lost the poison stick and is now hiding from the shark in the water!! AND MARTIN AND QUINT THINK HE'S DEAD!! Aw, now Bruce feels bad and wants to replace Matt by becoming the "third fisherman"... JK, he wants to eat them as little snackies. I can't help but think of Martin and how he must feel during this time: He hates the ocean and he hates boats; he didn't ask for any of this, but he got sucked in because of Larry! Now, a shark is trying to "board" a boat in the middle of the ocean to eat him and his mate. He'll need a therapist after this. NOOOOO, QUINT IS DEAD!!!! Martin is DEFINITELY going to need to see a therapist after this... Martin threw one of the oxygen tanks into the shark's mouth!! Didn't Quint say earlier that the shark was going to eat one of the tanks as a joke? I guess it's coming true!!! For someone who hates water and boats (and sharks), Martin is killing it!! His therapist will be so proud. MARTIN KILLED THE SHARK ALL BY HIMSELF!!!! He don't need no (fisher)man!!! And he found out his bestie Matty is alive!! Oh, Quint, you got the $10,000 but never got to use it. That's so unfair!! "I used to hate the water." "I can't imagine why." OMG, what an amazing ending. What a jaw-dropping movie (see what I did there)? SO GOOD! Have you seen Jaws? Tell us what you think of the movie in the comments below.