Etiquette in 2025: Outdated or a modern social currency?

The South African

8 hours ago

Etiquette once meant knowing how to address a formal letter or which fork to use. However, it has evolved to encompass a lot more, including virtual and digital etiquette. This includes how you conduct yourself during Zoom meetings, how and when to WhatsApp colleagues, and what you post on publicly accessible social media channels.
In a South African context, etiquette spans two worlds. On the one hand, there are Western behavioural norms, which are often important in business settings. But on the other hand, traditions such as respecting your elders and community customs remain central. This mix creates a truly South African version of modern etiquette in 2025.
While we try to hold on to our traditions, globalisation and social media have blurred the lines between local and international etiquette. South African teenagers who consume content on TikTok might pick up slang and mannerisms from other cultures. Likewise, a businessperson in Johannesburg might adopt Japanese meeting customs. The global village creates cross-pollination, which can either enrich our lived experience or lead to cultural missteps.
Traditionally, etiquette placed high value on reserved speech, formal dress codes, and clear hierarchies. For example, addressing a person older than yourself using their titles and surnames instead of on a first-name basis.
In today's fast-paced world, many of these conventions have fallen by the wayside. Many people have more casual workplaces which don't require men to wear suits and where women are free to wear trousers if they so wish. Many of these offices also encourage casual greetings and an atmosphere of equality where everyone is called by their first name.
Although certain occasions still demand formality. For example, funerals, weddings, and official state events. Etiquette is employed as a sign of respect in these contexts, whether it be wearing black to a funeral or remaining quiet during a wedding ceremony.
Despite the benefits of a society where everyone adheres to a set of norms, etiquette has been slated as an exclusionary tool for sowing class divisions. This particularly comes into play when people who grew up in a culture where etiquette was taught have to integrate into different social settings as adults and may be overwhelmed.
For example, if someone grew up mostly eating simple meals, then as an adult they attend a formal dinner with several courses' worth of cutlery at their place setting, and they don't know where to begin. This may embarrass them, which can cause resentment and even self-isolation.
However, many believe that etiquette, when applied with empathy, can unite people. It is not meant to be a list of hollow rules, but rather a way of showing respect for others and carrying oneself with dignity and grace.
In 2025, how you conduct yourself online will become of utmost importance. Sending long voice notes that could have been an email, ignoring a direct question in a group chat, or eating in a Zoom call can all tarnish your reputation as much as if you were rude in person.
There is also a definite age gap in how online faux pas are dealt with. Older professionals tend to prefer complete sentences in emails and formal greetings, whereas Gen Z colleagues tend to add humour into the mix. If someone makes an etiquette mistake, they will call it out gently and playfully.
As new platforms emerge, so too do new online social etiquette norms, also known as 'netiquette.' A 2023 study by Maxi Heitmayer and Robin Schimmelpfennig (from the London School of Economics and Political Science and the University of Lausanne, respectively) found that netiquette is not a fixed set of digital social norms, but is dynamic in its response to online trends.
South Africa, with its 12 official languages and a multitude of cultural traditions, demands an inclusive and flexible etiquette. If you know how to greet someone in their mother tongue or when to code switch (the act of switching between languages mid-conversation), you can gain someone's trust, which is beneficial both socially and in a business context.
Every South African should know the basic greetings which are most common in the areas where you live (for example, isiXhosa, Afrikaans, and English in the Western Cape) and should practice observing how others conduct themselves before assuming that you know the etiquette of an area. You can also be guided by the concept of Ubuntu, which champions respect, empathy, and a community-first approach in how you carry out your daily life.
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