Ban parents from calling children ‘naughty', says Kate Silverton
Mrs Silverton, the child therapist and former BBC newsreader, said it is harmful for children because they 'internalise' the message of the word, and it reinforces a belief that it is 'who I am', leading to more problematic behaviour.
Mrs Silverton, 54, also said it is a 'fallacy' to use the word because it is 'not scientifically correct' as their brains are too immature.
The counsellor called for parents to 'change the language'.
'Our children internalise every day,' she told the Netmums podcast.
'They're taking in messages from us, from their friends, from their teachers. And words carry such weight of meaning. 'Oh, stop being silly. Oh, you are so naughty. Oh, he's the naughty one'.
'We all fall into that trap, but our children are paying very close attention to how we think of them.
'And we might dismiss it as a comment – 'oh, he's so untidy. Oh, she's always late. She's a bit of a scatterbrain'.
'They are internalising. And what they're internalising, because, again, they don't have that fully formed rational brain.
''I'm bad. I'm naughty.' And then it becomes: 'That's me. That's who I am'.
'And you may well end up with a child that then thinks, well, 'that's who I am so I may as well just be that'. You know, that's where sort of delinquency comes from.'
'Labels are not who our children are,' Mrs Silverton added.
'So we might say, 'I didn't like that behaviour', but it's not 'I don't like who you are'. And that's really important.'
Mrs Silverton added: 'It's just a fallacy to call children naughty.
'They're not making conscious choices for the majority of the time. They are driven by a very, very immature brain and a nervous system that very often is being triggered because they're coping with a lot during the day.
'It's just not scientifically correct. It's not, it's just, as I say, it's a fallacy.
'And I'd really like to change that language.'
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