John Green writes a love letter to the Indianapolis 500
John Green, author of "Everything is Tuberculosis" and "The Fault in Our Stars," has rolled his admiration of the Indy 500 into a 250-word essay that celebrates what the Circle City loves about the month of May: the community that forms throughout a blossoming spring full of tailgating reunions, discussions about IndyCar drivers and bike rides to Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
The essay's text, and Green's reading of it, will be relayed across YouTube, social media, an IndyStar ad and more starting May 1:
John Green's essay on the Indianapolis 500 and month of May
"It's spring in Indianapolis. Everything's in bloom, and the air is bright with birdsong and re-emerging life. 'Spring is like a perhaps hand coming carefully out of nowhere,' ee cummings wrote, and after a long winter, the burst of spring indeed astonishes.
But you can hear something else downtown, or rumbling along the banks of the White River: The Greatest Spectacle in Racing is coming. They call the Indianapolis Motor Speedway the Cathedral of Speed, and for me and 400,000 annual pilgrims like me, that distant roar we hear brings a smile that lasts the whole month of May.
The Indy 500 is not just a race — it's community. For me, it means long bike rides along our city's beautiful canal paths down to the Speedway. For others, it means tailgating with friends and family, some of whom you only see once a year. It means backpack coolers and headphones and decades-long arguments over who's the greatest driver of all time.
But the Indy 500 is also a car race, and the best one in the world — a race so thrilling and wondrous that it brings together more people than any other sporting event on Earth.
This is Indianapolis. All around town, the checkered flags are out. Porch parties abound, and everyone's invited.
And this is the Indy 500, where we see what humans can accomplish in concert with twin turbocharged V-6 engines and Firestone tires. This is the Brickyard, where they've been racing since before any of us were born.
This is Speed City. Welcome to May."
Green, who has lived in Indiana since 2007, has long documented his love for the Indy 500. In a 2019 episode of his " Anthropocene Reviewed" podcast, he discussed humanity's progress as it relates to Indy 500 race cars before sharing his own race day routine.
"I think about none of this on race day — I am not thinking about the ever-diminishing distinction between humans and their machines, or about the anthropocene's accelerating rate of change, or anything. I am, instead, merely happy," Green said in the podcast.
"My best friend Chris calls it Christmas for Grown-Ups."
Green brought up the race again in his 2021 book " The Anthropocene Reviewed," which contains essays about multiple topics he first talked about on the podcast. The author previously told IndyStar that he reworked his piece on the 500 during the pandemic as a way to process the new normal.
'I wanted to write about my experience of suddenly being unable to go to the race, and how it felt to go through all the same rituals that I always go through on that Sunday, and to bike to the race as I always do and to arrive at an empty Speedway, with the gates locked shut," he said in 2021.
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But I was like, 'I need to first prove all these people wrong. And second, maybe I can help someone out there who sees themselves in me in any way.' I like to think that everything I went through and continue to go through is because I'm strong enough to survive and tell the story. Just because I'm okay with it now doesn't mean I deserved to go through it. As much as people mistreated me, who I really have a bone to pick with is the internet. I recently saw this video someone posted on TikTok from when I was 13. It was my first time on a TV show, and I sang a song that I completely botched the ending of. I went back to the original comments. People were like, 'I didn't know it was possible to get ear cancer,' 'I didn't know that you could be talentless and get signed,' 'Oh my god, this girl sucks.' I don't give a fuck that I'm a public figure or that I put myself out there. You don't treat children like that. I've been bullied a lot. 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I really had to ask myself: If I'm going to live, what do I want my life to look like and who am I going to be? It's taken me so long and I'm obviously still doing so much work on myself. But yeah, it's been a fucking journey. There've been so many situations in my life where I've been burned….I've been betrayed in every single way. It's really painful. I guess I just got to a point where I was like, 'Feel your feelings about it.' That's me coping with things. I don't fuck with wallowing in misery because I've done that and it doesn't end well. I'd rather be real with myself, like, Okay, you went through this, you can't change it. What are we going to do now? But I also try to be a joyous person that's loving life and has more empathy than judgment. Even for the people who almost bullied me into killing myself. We're alive for a short period of time. I called my mum three nights ago because she is the kindest, most loving person, and she always taught me and my brother about empathy. 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I met a girl, literally out and about, and I was on her phone lock screen, and one of my songs, 'Homesick,' was her ringtone. And I was like, 'How did we just run into each other on the street? I'm going to cry my eyes out.' Those are the moments, honestly, more so than getting nominated for a Grammy…I wouldn't have gotten that without everything that came before it, including the fans who support me. There have been so many moments that are very 'pinch me' vibes. I remember Amsterdam, the first show with over 5,000 people when I headlined my own tour. I was trembling at the sound check. I walked out there thinking, Where did you all come from and why are you here to see me? Transparently, though, after the Life Support tour⁴, I thought I was done. I love my fans, but the experience as a whole was just too much. I was going through a lot and trying to perform and meet 150 or 200 people a night. I was questioning my career. 4. 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I cut my meet-and-greets down to 30 people and I have a no-phones rule because of my trust issues. I want to be open with my fans in these conversations, I tell them secrets. Someone posted a video they took secretly and all of the comments were like, 'Delete this. She says she doesn't want this. Do not talk about things that happened in the Q&A.' And I'm like, thank you. I finally have a team around me that gives a fuck. I want to feel like I'm having fun because, hello? We're not working at NASA. We're not doing life-or-death work. Of course, music is so important, but let's loosen up a little and not be so goddamn serious all the time. And by the way, I can already hear the people on Twitter being like, 'Well, this is why you're not as big as the other girls, girl.' And you know what? Maybe it is. Or maybe it is because I prioritise my life and my mental health more than my career. I'm really proud of where I'm at and I'm not putting all of my self-worth into my career. To be so honest with you, a lot of my self-worth is based on the way I look. I'm trying to change that, but it's so deep-rooted. It's been ingrained in me since I was young because of people focusing on superficial bullshit. Unfortunately, that's manifested itself into a place where if I'm breaking out or I've gained five pounds or I don't feel pretty, I don't feel like I'm worth anything. That's genuinely my most real answer and it came into my head and I was like, Okay, do I say this? But it's important because I think a lot of young girls can relate. If you don't feel hot, you feel like you're nothing. It sucks. I've gotten better by not wearing makeup or by going out in sweatpants, by not feeling 'hot' all the time. It's a double-edged sword, because people are like, 'Oh, boo-hoo, people think you're pretty.' That's not at all what I'm saying. I'm trying to say that I feel like I have a lot more to offer. It feels like the opposite of who I am. I get so frustrated because I'm like, Well, girl, you can talk the talk, but you don't walk the walk because when you're not feeling cute, you feel like you are the worst person alive. I know that that's a trauma response, that it's related to my borderline personality disorder and OCD. I know that it stems from years of people making me feel like that's all I'm good for. But I'm also asking myself, What are the things that make me feel like I have purpose and value? It's having deep conversations, doing kind things for others, and spreading love. As cheesy as that is what makes me feel like I'm worth $1 trillion. My heart. Because I'm picking myself apart. I'm my biggest critic. Everything I say and do, I'm like, You're being annoying. Shut up. Why'd you say that? But my brain is wired to care about it. Like I said, I had grown men in the industry being like, 'She's too pretty' or 'She's too sexy.' And let's not even get into just being a woman in general. What we're told from so young is 'Be pretty, be hot.' Society just continues to perpetuate this. It's terrible. I don't want my self-worth to be caught up in that because when I feel the best about myself is when I'm performing. Or when I meet somebody and we have a beautiful moment of connection. For sure. I love people. I meet someone, I love them. I'm like, 'Okay, I'm never letting you go. You'll be with me forever until you hurt me.' That's the deal. I think I also, because I have such a weird life and never feel safe and comfortable with someone, when I cross that line of 'you're my boyfriend,'6 it feels really big. 6. Madison is dating Nick Austin, a TikTok star and influencer. I really don't. I joke that I'm a sapiosexual,7 because honestly, make me laugh and we're good. Truthfully. Sometimes also there's just a…thing. 7. Meaning someone who is attracted to another person's intelligence. Yeah. You could literally look so different from anyone I've ever been with. 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It's intense and fun, but it's good. We've been together for four years, which is nuts. No, neither of us are equipped for whatever the fuck might come. But it's kind of exciting to be like, 'We're going to figure all this out, hopefully together.' Yes, I know he's going to support me, but do I think that he knows or I know or my parents know or my brother knows how we're going to feel or go through it if and when that does happen? No. But in terms of certain other people, don't think that if and hopefully when this album goes crazy, I'm not going to be like, 'You didn't give me the time of fucking day and now you want to be my best friend. Goodbye. Get out of my face, genuinely.' I love my new followers, I love them so much. But I'm also so close with my fans who have been with me since the beginning. I'm thinking of so many of their names right now, and I'm like, 'When I'm doing an arena tour, I will see you in the front row and you will be the reason I'm emotional because you've seen me and you've been a part of this journey this whole time.' When a lot of people didn't get it, they did. Styled by Harper Slate. Hair by Mel Dominguez at Forward Artists. Makeup by Sandy Ganzer for Saie Beauty. Manicure by Sreynin Peng for Aprés. Production by The Morrison Group. VP of video: Jason Ikeler. Director of video: Kathryn Rice. Senior producer: Rae Medina. Producer: Phoebe Balson. Associate producer: Jordan Abt. Director of photography: Darren Kho. Senior editor: Jeffrey Sharkey. Camera: AJ Lodge. Sound: Griffith James. Editor: Sarah Ng. If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual violence, consider reaching out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673 or using the online chat feature at In a crisis, you can call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 to speak to a trained counselor. We've rounded up more mental health resources here.
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Michelle Pemberton/IndyStar Adin Parks/IndyStar Indianapolis Colts quarterbacks Anthony Richardson Sr. (5) and Daniel Jones (17) pass Friday, July 25, 2025, during training camp held at Grand Park in Westfield. Mykal McEldowney/IndyStar Miles Cruz watches a pitch during wiffle ball camp Sunday, Jan. 12, 2025 in Hinkle Fieldhouse at Butler University. The camp is part of Butler chemistry professor Anne Wilson's sports camps for people with special needs. Kelly Wilkinson/IndyStar Grace Kennedy and Mary Rumer reach up for T-shirts on Wednesday, July 9, 2025, during a game between the Indiana Fever and the Golden State Valkyries at Gainbridge Fieldhouse in Indianapolis. The Golden State Valkyries defeated the Indiana Fever, 80-61. Grace Smith/IndyStar Maverick Hornbrook takes part in the All-Star Bounce event on Saturday, July 19, 2025, in Indianapolis. The 2,500 youth participants started at the American Legion Mall, and bounced their way to Monument Circle. Michelle Pemberton/IndyStar Fans watch as Nike hosts a 3x3 pop-up tournament on Friday, July 18, 2025, during the WNBA All-Star weekend in downtown Indianapolis. Adin Parks/IndyStar Mykal McEldowney/IndyStar Participants in a Naturalization Ceremony receive American flags as a memento, in the Federal Courthouse, Thursday, July 3, 2025 in downtown Indianapolis. Judge Sarah Evans Barker presided over the ceremony in which 90 people from 33 countries became new U.S. citizens. Kelly Wilkinson/IndyStar Racing fans watch the action Saturday, July 26, 2025, during the Pennzoil 250 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Grace Smith/IndyStar LiveFree Indiana Clergy leaders hold a funeral vigil outside the office of U.S. States Senator Todd Young's Office on Thursday, July 3, 2025, in Carmel, Ind. The clergy 'publicly grieve and mourn the loss of life that will come from families losing access to healthcare, resources to address hunger, and housing' said Pastor Joel Reichenbach during the gathering. Michelle Pemberton/IndyStar Eliana Livingstone, 10, eats her watermelon during the watermelon eating contest on Friday, July 4, 2025, at the Westfield Rocks the 4th event at the Grand Park in Westfield, Ind. Adin Parks/IndyStar Justin Jones, owner of Bovaconti Coffee and vice president of the Fountain Fletcher District Association, tosses a broken chair Friday, July 18, 2025, into a dumpster along Leonard Street in the Fountain Square area of Indianapolis. Mykal McEldowney/IndyStar Madame Onca reacts as she watches Paolo Garbanzo entertain with a comedy juggling act at Gen Con Indy, Thursday, July 31, 2025 at the Indiana Convention Center. Kelly Wilkinson/IndyStar Los Angeles Sparks's Kelsey Plum (10) guards Las Vegas Aces' A'ja Wilson (22) on Saturday, July 19, 2025, during the WNBA All-Star Game at Gainbridge Fieldhouse in Indianapolis. Grace Smith/IndyStar Trinity Hopkins is photographed at the Outreach location on the east side (2416 E New York Street) on Wednesday, July 2, 2025, in Indianapolis. Michelle Pemberton/IndyStar Heir team member Katelyn Jones eyes the basket while on the move for a layup during the Nike 3x3 pop-up tournament for the WNBA All-Star weekend in downtown Indianapolis. Adin Parks/IndyStar A City of Indianapolis employee puts up light pole signs near a large mural of the Indiana Fever's Caitlin Clark on Tuesday, July 8, 2025, near the JW Marriott in Indianapolis. Mykal McEldowney/IndyStar Indianapolis Colts' tight end Albert Okwuegbunam (#83) runs drills during Colts Camp at Grand Park Sports Campus, Tuesday, July 29, 2025 in Westfield. Kelly Wilkinson/IndyStar Crissa Jackson, the 13th female to become a Harlem Globetrotter, makes an appearance at WNBA Live on Friday, July 18, 2025, at the Indiana Convention Center during WNBA All-Star weekend. Michelle Pemberton/IndyStar Indianapolis Colts cornerback Justin Walley (27) defends Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Laquon Treadwell (13) on Monday, July 28, 2025, during training camp held at Grand Park in Westfield. Mykal McEldowney/IndyStar Indianapolis Mayor Joe Hogsett listens as Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Chief, Christopher Bailey speaks during a press conference with community and faith leaders, called to address downtown gun violence on Saturday, July 5th, 2025, in Indianapolis. Michelle Pemberton/IndyStar Children and parents attend the All-Star Bounce event in downtown on Saturday, July 19, 2025, in Indianapolis. The 2,500 youth participants started at the American Legion Mall, and bounced their way to Monument Circle. Michelle Pemberton/IndyStar Sam Webster, 13, right, reacts after crashing in a nascar simulation on Sunday, July 27, 2025, before the Brickyard 400 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Adin Parks/IndyStar
