I blew my lover's relationship apart with a text to his partner – why I think cheats like kisscam CEO want to be caught

The Irish Sun

5 days ago

COLDPLAY'S kisscam 'cheating' scandal was every adulterer's worst nightmare - but what really happens on the other side of the exposé?
Here, three people who have experienced affairs first-hand reveal what happened next in their relationships, after Astronomer CEO Andy Byron resigned from his job.
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CEO Andy Byron caught with his 'mistress' after being exposed by a kiss cam at a Coldplay gig
Credit: tiktok/instaagraace
His wife, Megan Kerrigan Byron, has
removed his surname from her social media accounts
but it's unclear if the couple will split.
And now three Fabulous readers reveal all on their very different experiences...
After a 10-year affair I told my lover's partner – I knew he wanted to be with me
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Carla Bellucci had a decade long affair with her now husband Gio
Credit: Instagram
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Carla, 44, says she doesn't regret exposing her affair as their relationship was meant to be
Credit: Supplied
Carla Bellucci, 44, from Hertfordshire, had a decade long affair with her now husband Gio, 55. They have a three-year-old daughter, Blu, together.
'I'm not proud of the fact my relationship started with an affair – or that I exposed it. But I can't say I regret it. Our relationship is meant to be.
I think affairs happen when your needs aren't being met in your primary relationship. I was very unhappily married and confessed to my ex as soon as I met Gio.
For Gio it was more complicated. He's a lovely, kind man, his live-in partner and mother of his child had done nothing 'wrong'. So he really struggled – he felt guilt ridden and torn apart.
After 10 years I couldn't live in limbo any more. It was 2019 when I told him he had to tell her, or I would. He didn't, so I sent her messages and photos of us together.
Unsurprisingly it ended their relationship. More surprising is that Gio wasn't angry with me, he understood why I did it – I couldn't share any more. It didn't break us up and a year later we moved in together.
In 2023 we got married and we're very happy. It doesn't cross my mind that he would cheat on me and I'd never be unfaithful either. We're soulmates.
I think on one level he was grateful. And I suspect a lot of people that cheat want to be caught as it takes it out of your hands. If someone is brazenly out in public, canoodling then they must know the risk. Or they're stupid!
Equally I think a lot of wives know when their man is messing around and choose to turn a blind eye because they don't want to disrupt their lives.'
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Carla says Gio was grateful their affair was exposed
Credit: Instagram / Carla Bellucci
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Carla and Gio are now happily married
Credit: Instagram/@pixbygiovanni
I discovered his affair…and did the 'choose me' dance
Jane, 54, from Rugby, found out her husband was cheating while they were on holiday 13 years ago.
Agonising moment tech CEO Andy Byron is caught 'cheating' with his HR chief at Coldplay gig as pair cuddle on big screen
'I'll never forget that moment when I decided to look at my husband's phone.
We were on holiday in Gran Canaria and it was pinging away. I don't know why but I picked it up and went into messages and saw a sent one that read, 'Happy New Year, Happy Birthday, I love you'.
My heart immediately lurched, but my brain took a while to catch up. I even thought it must be meant for me for a moment – despite my birthday being in April.
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Many couple's relationships crash to an end through phone discoveries
Credit: Getty
But that's how blindsided I was. I immediately confronted him, and he brushed it off, telling me it was to a friend and he sent her the same thing every year.
He was so confident that for a moment I believed him. We went down to the beach as normal – but then my mind caught up, you don't tell casual friends you love them.
I knew with a sickening certainty it must be more. When the children were paddling, I told him I didn't believe him and asked him questions.
But he still denied it. I tried to grab his phone, but he was having none of it.
It was three months later I went through his phone, and found a number with no name assigned to it. I called it and there was no reply.
But she called me back and it all came spilling out. She had no idea he was married – he was conning her too. It had been going on for months.
With the new information I confronted him. He said it meant nothing and he couldn't explain why he'd done it, but it would never happen again. He refused counselling.
I wish I'd left, I feel I've wasted the last 13 years of my life
Jane
At first I did the 'pick me dance', making more of an effort so I didn't lose him to her. I lost a stone and ended up on anti-depressants from the strain.
I felt like a fool, for not noticing. But he had a busy job in finance where he worked evenings and had long lunches so it was easy for him to deceive me. And he seemed besotted with me.
I stayed because I was naïve and still in love. I didn't think I could cope on my own with two young children – I was sure it would be better for them to be with both parents. I had no confidence left – he'd always been my protector.
The pain of his betrayal is always with me, even now. I hate new year and I can't even wear the sun cream I was using on that holiday.
I wish I'd left, I feel I've wasted the last 13 years of my life. My devastation has turned into anger and resentment.
But at 75 he's much older than me and his health is failing so it would feel too cruel. So I'm trapped in a
marriage
that he destroyed.'
I strayed – it cost me everything
John, 60, from London, works in sales. He lost his home and his friends when his affair was discovered.
"I started my affair because I was bored in my 27-year
marriage
and thought there must be more to life.
I met my lover through work and we saw each other for two years. It felt magical, I yearned for her company and convinced myself it was true love.
Then her husband discovered it, by snooping through her emails. He contacted me saying I had 24 hours to tell my wife or he would. I never heard from my lover again.
When I saw his email the spell was broken. I realised how much I loved my wife and our two sons – who were teenagers at the time.
I was a coward and couldn't tell her, desperately hoping he wouldn't follow through on his threat.
But he did, forwarding all the correspondence between me and my lover to her.
It was heartbreaking when my wife came to me, shaking and crying. I will never forgive myself for the hurt I put her through.
We tried to patch it up and we went to counselling. But she understandably couldn't get past it.
We divorced in 2023 two years after she found out. I lost our friends, who couldn't forgive the betrayal either and my home. I'm now alone, living in a studio flat and I've only got myself to blame.
When my life felt boring, I should have made an effort with my wife, not cheated. I'll regret it forever.'
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it's normal to know each other's passwords and use each other's phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
"You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something."
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
"If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don't want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag."
"Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it's an easy way to get caught out," says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner's libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: "Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren't there before."
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
"To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven't walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating," warns Aaron.