I was mistakenly added to the school moms' group chat... the messages about my new body enhancement were the most hurtful: DEAR JANE
My daughter attends a school where parents are heavily involved in field trips and extracurriculars. As a result, the moms use a group chat to organize everything: snacks, carpooling etc.
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The Guardian
6 hours ago
- The Guardian
My children were abused in care. The silence that followed was suffocating
The moment I discovered both of my children had been sexually abused by our babysitter's partner, I was hollowed out by the greatest sorrow I'd ever known. They were aged four and two. A stain bloomed backwards through time, through all the moments that once felt delightful and perfect: fat little hands catching the light, unsteady feet in tiny sneakers, sleeping faces. All those times I kissed their soft cheeks goodbye. Time collapsed in on itself. There was no before and after – just an after that swallowed everything. As their stories unfurled, in the aftermath of reporting them, I held my children with all the strength and protective love a mother can muster. I reassured them always: We believe you. This is not your fault. I am so sorry I wasn't there. Years later, they carry no shame, and their childhood brims with joy. I am one parent among countless parents affected by child sexual abuse. As the silent guardian of my children's stories, as their fierce advocate, I am bound to protect their privacy. Their stories belong to them. There are countless voiceless parents like me, siloed in trying to simultaneously support their children's healing while quietly reassembling their shattered selves. For so many other kinds of traumas and sorrows we have a shared language, grief and ritual. We know secrets are corrosive, that healing deepens when we share our experience with others. Communal care is vital for our wellbeing. We know, too, especially as women, the power of refusing to stay silent. But what happens when these stories belong to our children? I was lucky to have the love of close friends, family and professional support, but most people in my world had no idea – and still have no idea – of our family's quiet devastation. Living in a close-knit small community, I struggled to contain this seismic rupture during early motherhood. In the midst of playdates, trips to the park and music classes, the 'how are yous?' were answered with chirpy falsities – I was suffocating under an unrelenting shame and guilt, wrenched with fury and sorrow. The ongoing senseless injustice. Aching sadness. I blamed myself entirely. Traumatic stress held me in its vice for months. The reminders were everywhere, unbidden memories surfacing. One Christmas, a man dressed as Santa visited our local gathering place. The children swarmed around him and I was overcome by an internal, shrieking anguish. Those big, big hands and all the small, trusting hands. I wept uncontrollably in the car park. I felt haunted, and desperately lonely. I thought of all the other parents – and think of them still. It has now been six years. The grief ebbs and flows. I now know the shame and guilt doesn't belong to me. I have learned ways to manage the inner chaos of post-traumatic stress. I delight in my wonderful children's strength, humour and curiosity. As an advocate to end child sexual abuse, I stand in solidarity with those seeking to address a legal system that continues to fail children. 'Children do not and cannot lie about such things' is what we know and what we hear, over and over. This truth was validated for my children by the highest sexual assault recognition payout from Victims Services. Yet when children need to locate a date and time in their testimony, with no witnesses, no forensic evidence or a confession, it is nigh impossible for a perpetrator to be arrested – let alone convicted. My children's disclosures tumbled out over months and years; words upon words of irrefutable evidence. I believe my children were able to tell me their stories because of all of our early conversations about bodily autonomy and not keeping secrets. Ongoing protective education programs are integral, and there needs to be more awareness of ill-founded, damaging stereotypes: there is no evidence to suggest that children who experience abuse will then go on to offend as adults. It is crucial we implement early-intervention measures for those at risk of harming children. Child sexual abuse is endemic: it happens in our communities, our homes, with people we often know and trust. Their actions are monstrous, but if we continue to deem them inhuman monsters, we are failing to address the problem where it begins: in ordinary places. These are difficult, complex, but necessary aspects of our ongoing national efforts to protect children. The effects of sexual abuse ricochet in so many directions. More trauma support is needed for those of us standing in its shadows: both families of abused children, and the devastated families of those who abuse. All trying to quietly support their children and rebuild their lives. In Australia, children, young adults, parents and teachers can contact the Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, or Bravehearts on 1800 272 831, and adult survivors can contact Blue Knot Foundation on 1300 657 380. Adults who are concerned about their own or someone else's sexual thoughts or behaviour towards children can contact Stop It Now! Australia on 1800 01 1800. In the UK, the NSPCC offers support to children on 0800 1111, and adults concerned about a child on 0808 800 5000. The National Association for People Abused in Childhood (Napac) offers support for adult survivors on 0808 801 0331. In the US, call or text the Childhelp abuse hotline on 800-422-4453. Other sources of help can be found at Child Helplines International
The Sun
9 hours ago
- The Sun
‘Vacuum mulching' can keep your lawn green and healthy in Fall despite the falling leaves – any mower can be transformed
A LAWN care expert gave his best advice on how to take care of your lawn during the fall season. Chris Lazo, who goes by @bermudadad on TikTok, shared his hack for protecting your lawn as the season begins to change. 1 Lazo warns that leaves falling from trees during the seasonal change can block the nutrients the lawn gets from the sun. In the video, Lazo shows leaves covering his whole front lawn. 'There are two great options for handling this, and I'll be testing out Greenworks tools for both of them,' he said. One of the unique methods Lazo used to prep his lawn was lawn mulching. 'Mulching can put the nutrients right back into your grass by chopping leaf materials into particles that are small enough to break down easily and go back into your soil,' Lazo said. He then showed how he turned his Greenworks 60V 21-inch self-propelled lawn mower into a mulcher. 'First thing I'm going to do is block off the chute in the back of the mower with a mulch plug and then remove the side discharge,' Lazo demonstrated. 'This allows the vacuum that the blade creates to keep the grass swirling inside the deck for longer, so that the blade gets multiple passes at the clippings before dropping them back onto the ground,' he continued. Lazo warned that you'll need shorter clippings to have a successful mulch job, which means you'll need to mow more often. Lawn mulching can contribute up to one pound of a lawn's annual nitrogen requirements, according to the home care website The Spruce. Watch the moment home owner walks over their new-build's lawn and shows how landscaping turned it into a water bed A lawn typically requires about four pounds of nitrogen, so reusing the clippings on the grass offers significant benefits. Practicing lawn mulching can also save lawn caretakers a significant amount of time and energy compared to using a lawn mower. 'This is what I do to keep my lawn beautiful, clean, and healthy throughout the fall.' However, if you choose not to lawn mulch, you can always purchase a blower. 'A blower beats a rake any day because it can remove leaves quickly and easily,' he said. Lazo went on to explain that those with larger lawns should look for a blower with a decent amount of power to it and some flexibility. The lawn care expert used Greenworks' 60-volt leaf blower. The leaf blower can produce up to 200 miles per hour winds and has a 60-minute battery life. The leaf blower weighs ten pounds and is powered at 780 cubic feet per meter. Lazo said the blower is great for him because he wants the power without the weight.
Daily Mail
10 hours ago
- Daily Mail
Why buy five appliances? This top-rated everyday cooker does it all - and it's 62% off with this exclusive code
Daily Mail journalists select and curate the products that feature on our site. If you make a purchase via links on this page we will earn commission - learn more Ready to cook up a good time?! The GreenPan Elite 6-Quart Electric Multi-Pot with Steamer & Tool is your solution to making dinner time fun again. GreenPan is known for its top-tier appliances, from toaster ovens to rice cookers, and now this unique slow cooker. The compact all-in-one tool has 12 modes and takes almost no counter space. The best part is the best-selling find, which is 62 percent off right now on QVC with code NEWQVC25 at checkout. It's time to give yourself the gift of a little extra time. No more running around the kitchen from oven to pan! With the GreenPan Elite 6-Quart Electric Multi-Pot with Steamer & Tool, you can make every part of your meal in one place. Designed with versatility, it comes with 12 unique modes, including steam, slow cook, sauté, stew, rice, warm, and stir fry Users are shocked by how much they can do, with one saying: 'One word amazing!!! This is the perfect tool in every kitchen because you will have meals cooked to perfection in no time. Forget about the stove and clean up like a breeze.' No matter what meal you have in mind, this all-in-one cooker can tackle it. Whether you are looking to slow-cook a juicy pulled pork or whip up your family's famous stew recipe, the multiple features make it possible. You can also enjoy the included steamer basket that can cook veggies to perfection! One user said: ' Steamer insert, silicone spoon, and tempered glass lid are a plus! I like the 12 modes... Great clean up with the ceramic nonstick coating too.' Ready to cook? This all in one appliance does the MOST with tempered glass, an adjustable touchpad, removable cord, and so much more. Worried about clean-up? Don't be! The GreenPan Elite 6-Quart Electric Multi-Pot is completely dishwasher safe and made from non-stick ceramic to make post-meal clean-up a breeze. The innovative cooker also has two non-slip handles and a removable pot that holds up to 6 qt. The GreenPan Elite 6-Quart Electric Multi-Pot with Steamer & Tool is pure magic! Keep your belly full and your pockets when you shop it now, while it is 62 percent off on QVC using code NEWQVC25.
