First openly gay GRA President encourages force members to be honest about ‘who they are' after ‘difficult' years hiding
THE first openly gay president of the Garda Representative Association has revealed how he was married to the mother of their two teenage children when he came out.
Mark O'Meara today takes the courageous step of telling his story to encourage other members of the force not to fear being "open and honest about who they are".
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4
The GRA President, photographed in his office, has issued an encouraging message for other force members
Credit: CONOR Ó MEARÁIN
4
The Garda Representative Association have been accepting of his sexuality
Credit: Collect
His decision to speak also comes ten years on from the Marriage Referendum, after which he found new love and is now remarried with his husband Rory, while also maintaining a really positive friendship with his ex-wife and two children.
It's a far cry from when he was left really struggling, battling with the weight on his shoulders he felt from his
O'Meara explained: "Having hidden my sexuality most of my life, I think now that I can be open and honest on how difficult that time of my life was.
"I have no doubt so too do many other
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READ MORE ON LGBT
"It's not being the real you, the complete you, that affects your relationships with others, in my case it was with my ex-wife and our two children.
"I'm not saying we didn't have a good
"But it could have been so much more, particularly for my kids, who no matter how much they deny it, had to find it so very difficult and upsetting, and I'm still very conscious of that.
"I was lucky in so many ways that my wife and
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Originally from Thurles in Co
From an early age, O'Meara knew he was 'different' but didn't know how to label it because it was a time in
Gardai roll out new tool in crackdown on e-scooters
After secondary school, he moved to
After some bar work and other random jobs, he signed up for the
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It was in the
O'Meara said: "Sexuality wasn't an issue for me at that point. From memory, it had no relevance to me at that time at all.
"I had no doubts that I wanted to get married."
Following almost nine years based in England's capital, he and his wife returned to Ireland as he joined the
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They lived a happy life and had two children together, but as time passed, O'Meara's sexuality began to take its toll.
It affected his confidence and how he put himself forward, describing it as one of the most difficult things he has had to grapple with in life.
'MARRIAGE BEGAN TO SUFFER'
He explained: "It only became an issue for me years later after the birth of our second child but I just put it to the back of my mind and had more or less resigned myself to my life with my wife and kids and that was it.
"We were such good friends so I just thought that sexuality wouldn't be an issue and we would grow old together, and in my mind then I thought my sexuality would have been something in my past.
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"Things just started to fragment over time and the marriage began to suffer and we took the difficult decision to separate.
"I think at that point I just knew I would have to walk away, the pressures were affecting me both physically and mentally.
"We tried
"That was the most difficult part, but funnily enough it was the news of the breakdown of the marriage that hurt them most, whereas the news of my sexuality seemed to be insignificant in comparison for them."
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While the separation and divorce was "very difficult" for the
'HAPPY RELATIONSHIP'
In 2015, O'Meara met his partner Rory, who his children see as their "second dad", and the couple later wed.
He added: "My ex-wife and I enjoy a close relationship and we talk regularly. I was lucky to meet someone, and after the marriage referendum I married my husband Rory, in August 2018.
"My ex-wife and our children were at the
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There was no "big reveal" of O'Meara's sexuality to his friends or community but eventually people became aware and he told some colleagues at work, who he got great support from.
O'Meara explained: "I was attached to the
"But I never once witnessed any homophobic or masochistic attitudes towards me.
"In fact it was quite the opposite and they were hugely, hugely supportive towards me. I think like myself, many of them forgot I was gay because it became so insignificant that it made no difference whatsoever.
Advertisement
"I think what was important to them was that I was still the same person and that I hadn't changed and I was still 'Mark', but Mark just happened to be gay.
"I was stationed in Cahir in South Tipperary for 17 years before the College and again, when I came out, all I've ever had is support and never judgement. I've done enough of that to myself over my lifetime, so I'm grateful others haven't judged me."
'BE YOURSELF'
O'Meara also told how his sexuality has never affected his career or work with the GRA, which represents over 11,000 rank and file garda members.
He added: "It's never been an issue. Being the first openly gay President of the Association hasn't caused me any difficulties."
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Asked if he had any advice for members who are struggling like he once did, he said: "I came from a completely different generation in many ways to the younger members, but still I personally never had to deal with any negative experience, repercussions or hostility for my sexuality.
"Clearly I cannot speak for every one of my colleagues around my age. But I think for younger members, I certainly hope that it is less of an issue for them. For those that believe it is an issue, I would appeal to them to 'just be yourself, be yourself and be proud of your sexuality.
"Don't shy away from it, and please don't cause yourself any unnecessary mental and physical anguish and pain over the years.
"Our sexuality, whatever it is, is a proud part of us all, but it doesn't, nor should it, define us."
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4
Mark O'Meara married his partner Rory in 2018
Credit: Collect
4
Mark revealed his children view his husband as a 'second dad'
Credit: CONOR Ó MEARÁIN
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The Irish Sun
19 hours ago
- The Irish Sun
First openly gay GRA President encourages force members to be honest about ‘who they are' after ‘difficult' years hiding
THE first openly gay president of the Garda Representative Association has revealed how he was married to the mother of their two teenage children when he came out. Mark O'Meara today takes the courageous step of telling his story to encourage other members of the force not to fear being "open and honest about who they are". Advertisement 4 The GRA President, photographed in his office, has issued an encouraging message for other force members Credit: CONOR Ó MEARÁIN 4 The Garda Representative Association have been accepting of his sexuality Credit: Collect His decision to speak also comes ten years on from the Marriage Referendum, after which he found new love and is now remarried with his husband Rory, while also maintaining a really positive friendship with his ex-wife and two children. It's a far cry from when he was left really struggling, battling with the weight on his shoulders he felt from his O'Meara explained: "Having hidden my sexuality most of my life, I think now that I can be open and honest on how difficult that time of my life was. "I have no doubt so too do many other Advertisement READ MORE ON LGBT "It's not being the real you, the complete you, that affects your relationships with others, in my case it was with my ex-wife and our two children. "I'm not saying we didn't have a good "But it could have been so much more, particularly for my kids, who no matter how much they deny it, had to find it so very difficult and upsetting, and I'm still very conscious of that. "I was lucky in so many ways that my wife and Advertisement Most read in Irish News Originally from Thurles in Co From an early age, O'Meara knew he was 'different' but didn't know how to label it because it was a time in Gardai roll out new tool in crackdown on e-scooters After secondary school, he moved to After some bar work and other random jobs, he signed up for the Advertisement It was in the O'Meara said: "Sexuality wasn't an issue for me at that point. From memory, it had no relevance to me at that time at all. "I had no doubts that I wanted to get married." Following almost nine years based in England's capital, he and his wife returned to Ireland as he joined the Advertisement They lived a happy life and had two children together, but as time passed, O'Meara's sexuality began to take its toll. It affected his confidence and how he put himself forward, describing it as one of the most difficult things he has had to grapple with in life. 'MARRIAGE BEGAN TO SUFFER' He explained: "It only became an issue for me years later after the birth of our second child but I just put it to the back of my mind and had more or less resigned myself to my life with my wife and kids and that was it. "We were such good friends so I just thought that sexuality wouldn't be an issue and we would grow old together, and in my mind then I thought my sexuality would have been something in my past. Advertisement "Things just started to fragment over time and the marriage began to suffer and we took the difficult decision to separate. "I think at that point I just knew I would have to walk away, the pressures were affecting me both physically and mentally. "We tried "That was the most difficult part, but funnily enough it was the news of the breakdown of the marriage that hurt them most, whereas the news of my sexuality seemed to be insignificant in comparison for them." Advertisement While the separation and divorce was "very difficult" for the 'HAPPY RELATIONSHIP' In 2015, O'Meara met his partner Rory, who his children see as their "second dad", and the couple later wed. He added: "My ex-wife and I enjoy a close relationship and we talk regularly. I was lucky to meet someone, and after the marriage referendum I married my husband Rory, in August 2018. "My ex-wife and our children were at the Advertisement There was no "big reveal" of O'Meara's sexuality to his friends or community but eventually people became aware and he told some colleagues at work, who he got great support from. O'Meara explained: "I was attached to the "But I never once witnessed any homophobic or masochistic attitudes towards me. "In fact it was quite the opposite and they were hugely, hugely supportive towards me. I think like myself, many of them forgot I was gay because it became so insignificant that it made no difference whatsoever. Advertisement "I think what was important to them was that I was still the same person and that I hadn't changed and I was still 'Mark', but Mark just happened to be gay. "I was stationed in Cahir in South Tipperary for 17 years before the College and again, when I came out, all I've ever had is support and never judgement. I've done enough of that to myself over my lifetime, so I'm grateful others haven't judged me." 'BE YOURSELF' O'Meara also told how his sexuality has never affected his career or work with the GRA, which represents over 11,000 rank and file garda members. He added: "It's never been an issue. Being the first openly gay President of the Association hasn't caused me any difficulties." Advertisement Asked if he had any advice for members who are struggling like he once did, he said: "I came from a completely different generation in many ways to the younger members, but still I personally never had to deal with any negative experience, repercussions or hostility for my sexuality. "Clearly I cannot speak for every one of my colleagues around my age. But I think for younger members, I certainly hope that it is less of an issue for them. For those that believe it is an issue, I would appeal to them to 'just be yourself, be yourself and be proud of your sexuality. "Don't shy away from it, and please don't cause yourself any unnecessary mental and physical anguish and pain over the years. "Our sexuality, whatever it is, is a proud part of us all, but it doesn't, nor should it, define us." Advertisement 4 Mark O'Meara married his partner Rory in 2018 Credit: Collect 4 Mark revealed his children view his husband as a 'second dad' Credit: CONOR Ó MEARÁIN
The Journal
20 hours ago
- The Journal
Head of garda group: 'The moment I came out, it became the most insignificant part of me'
THE PRESIDENT OF a garda group has said that he hopes that talking about his sexuality will help his colleagues. Mark O'Meara is currently the elected head of the Garda Representative Association (GRA) which represents rank and file members of Ireland's police force. In an interview published in the Garda Review, the group's magazine, he speaks about his own experiences of being a gay man in An Garda Síochána. O'Meara, who was first a member of the Metropolitan Police in London when he left Thurles, Co Tipperary in the 1980s. He then came home to Ireland and became a garda. He said his decision to speak openly was to give people an understanding of the difficulties he faced coming to terms with his sexuality and that he hopes it will help other gardaí. 'I am now in the final year of my presidency and I felt it was important to talk about this while I still had the platform of the position that I hold and hope to get across my experience of being a gay man within An Garda Síochána and perhaps inspire others to know it is okay to be open and honest about who they are,' he said. O'Meara said that he felt it would be 'disingenuous' if he didn't speak up. 'I just wanted to be open and honest and if this interview even helps one member of the GRA and indeed, An Garda Síochána, then it will have been worth it,' he added. The interview is the GRA's way also to mark Dublin Pride Parade on 28 June – it will come on 10th anniversary of the marriage equality referendum. Mark is married now to his partner Rory but he was married previously. In the interview he explained how difficult that time was for him as he was finding a way to be open about his sexuality with his loved ones from the previous relationship. Advertisement 'Having hidden my sexuality most of my life, I think now that I can be open and honest on how difficult that time of my life was, and I have no doubt so too, do many other gay people who can't, or who are afraid to come out, and so might suffer damaging mental and physical health. 'It's not being the real you, the complete you, that affects your relationships with others, in my case it was with my ex-wife and our two children,' he added. O'Meara said his experience of life in An Garda Síochána was positive and when he came out to his colleagues he was working in the driving school in Templemore Garda College. He said he was worried, before telling his colleagues, that he would be outed at work and keeping the secret was the most difficult time for him. 'But there's no doubt that for a number of years I struggled to have the confidence I have now. 'There were times when my daily prevailing thought was 'will someone look at me and say, he looks gay' and so up to the point where I came out, my sexuality was definitely one of the most difficult issues I ever dealt with. 'But the moment I came out it immediately became the most insignificant part of me, it meant nothing,' he added. Despite those struggles O'Meara does not regret coming out sooner. 'If I came out sooner, or even been conscious of how I really felt, that I wouldn't have married or had my children, perhaps wouldn't have then met my husband. 'So the timing and what happened over the years is nothing that I regret as I wouldn't be the man I am or have the things I have today. 'So I have no regrets as such, just perhaps guilt, some justifiable, some unjustified because you find solace in the fact that you were trying to protect your kids from hurt and pain. 'But in the end, it was for the best as my kids now see a much happier dad and we have a brilliant relationship,' he added. Readers like you are keeping these stories free for everyone... A mix of advertising and supporting contributions helps keep paywalls away from valuable information like this article. Over 5,000 readers like you have already stepped up and support us with a monthly payment or a once-off donation. Learn More Support The Journal
Irish Daily Mirror
a day ago
- Irish Daily Mirror
94 Gardaí currently suspended from force, new figures show
94 Gardaí are currently suspended from the force for a combined total of 89,534 days, new figures have revealed. In the first six months of this year alone, 14 members have been suspended from An Garda Síochána. Justice Minister Jim O'Callaghan divulged the figures following a parliamentary question from Independent TD Carol Nolan. The Fianna Fáil minister stated that the Garda Commissioner, Drew Harris, is 'responsible for the management and administration of Garda business by law, including Garda discipline'. As of June 6, Mr O'Callaghan said, there were 94 members of An Garda Síochána suspended. There are five guards who were suspended in either 2018 or 2019, who have been suspended for a total of 10,858 days combined. This year so farm some 14 Gardaí were suspended already, for a combined 1,231 days. Mr Harris became Commissioner in 2018, meaning all 94 have been suspended during his tenure. The Garda Representative Association (GRA) and the Association of Garda Sergeants and Inspectors (AGSI) have been critical of the number of suspensions and their duration under Mr Harris. The GRA previously suggested the Commissioner's record in relation to discipline has seen 'excessive harshness'. A Garda spokesman told the Irish Mirror: 'Commissioner Harris has repeatedly stated that the vast majority of Gardaí act in a highly disciplined and ethical manner' but there are 'times, when in order to maintain public trust, it is necessary to suspend Gardaí subject to disciplinary investigations'. He continued: 'Every individual suspended from An Garda Síochána are reviewed on a three-monthly basis. There are 94 Gardaí suspended out of 14,318 Gardaí. Or 0.65 per cent of Gardaí. 'Contrary to some recent commentary, when looked at on a factual basis rather than on hyperbole comment, this can hardly be considered as a significant level of suspensions. The majority of suspensions relate to off-duty matters.'
