‘There's barely any privacy': Soha Ali Khan on parenting under the spotlight, not exchanging notes with brother Saif, and juggling responsibilities

Indian Express

21-04-2025

Known for her understated yet impactful performances in films like Rang De Basanti and Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster, Soha Ali Khan has always taken the road less travelled, not chasing visibility despite her legacy. Now in her 40s, she's focusing on what truly matters to her: family, creative freedom, and personal well-being.
In a candid conversation with indianexpress.com, Khan spoke about embracing motherhood on her terms, co-parenting with husband Kunal Khemu, stepping away from mainstream cinema, her main focus in her 40s, and why shielding children from fame isn't always the answer, especially when they're born into it. Khan further added, 'When strangers start taking photos, it's important to explain why –– to help your child understand that public attention comes with who we are, not something they've done.'
Q: Was stepping away from mainstream cinema a conscious choice?
Soha Ali Khan: Yes, it was. I've always believed life is short, and I'm aware that I speak from a place of privilege — I've had the freedom to choose when to work and when not to. Not everyone has that luxury. If I'm not offered something exciting, or if something else is demanding my time, like motherhood, I'd rather focus on that.
Inaya is seven now, but in her early years, I didn't want to miss anything. That's partly why I had a child later in life — I wanted to be present. Now, she's more independent, and I've started taking on work again. I did two shows and two films last year. I'm ready for more, but it has to be meaningful. Otherwise, I'd rather write or travel. Right now, I'm working on a podcast. It's still in development, but it's a new creative outlet I'm enjoying.
Q: How has motherhood changed your perspective on life and the work you seek?
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Soha Ali Khan: It hasn't necessarily changed the kind of films I want to do. I'm still drawn to creatively rich roles, even if they are flawed, dark characters like in Chhorii 2. I don't feel a need to do films just because they have a social message, though when something like Rang De Basanti comes along, it's rewarding to be part of something that sparks real-world conversations.
But motherhood has definitely influenced the kind of causes I engage with. Through associations like P&G Shiksha, I've become more focused on issues like creating an equitable platform for everyone through access to quality education, something I care deeply about. The initiative has been doing that for over 20 years.
Q: Kunal and you are often praised for co-parenting. How do you divide responsibilities, especially while navigating traditional gender norms?
Soha Ali Khan: It's not always easy. I've had to work on not micromanaging everything. I tend to want to do it all myself, which can be frustrating for someone like Kunal who also wants to contribute. We have different styles: I'm rigid about bedtime routines, while he's more relaxed. I want soft lighting and soothing music; he wants Inaya to figure things out for herself.
At first, I worried: 'What if I'm not home at 8 PM, what's happening then?' But I've come to appreciate that his approach helps her become more independent. We balance each other out, and I think that's what co-parenting should be.
Q: Given your experience, do you and Saif (Ali Khan) exchange notes on managing media attention with your kids?
'I think the biggest lessons come from our children themselves.' (Photo: Instagram/Kareena Kapoor Khan)
Soha Ali Khan: Not really, we don't swap parenting advice. Honestly, I think the biggest lessons come from our children themselves. This generation is growing up under a constant spotlight, especially with social media and paparazzi culture.
There's hardly any privacy. You can't completely shield them, so you explain. When people take photos, I talk to Inaya about why that's happening — because of who we are, not who she is (yet). I want her to understand the attention, but not place any importance on it. It's not about her achievements, it's inherited visibility. If she's celebrated someday, I want it to be for something she's earned on her own. That's the value I hope to pass on: find your own path, and be recognised for what you do.
Q: As you juggle multiple roles, how do you prioritise yourself?
Soha Ali Khan: Health is my top priority now. I go to bed early, by 10:30 PM, if I'm not working, and aim for eight hours of sleep. I work out regularly, especially strength training. At this stage in life, things like bone health and hormonal changes become real, so consistency matters.
I eat well, stay hydrated, and protect my mental space. I've become intentional about surrounding myself with positive energy and cutting out what drags me down. That's not just for me — it helps me show up better for my family and my work.
Q: Go-to workout when you're not motivated?
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Soha Ali Khan: If I really need rest, I take it. But I usually push through. Even if I don't feel like working out, I'll go to the gym — and I always feel better after. It's science — those happy hormones kick in.
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Q: How do you balance fitness with indulgence?
Soha Ali Khan: I do have a routine, but I don't diet. I never have. Over time, I've just changed how I eat. I've cut out refined sugar, white flour, and overly processed foods. But I still enjoy food — especially desserts. I love chocolate cake and have it often, but it's made with almond flour and jaggery.
People say sugar is sugar, but I feel better eating what's right for me. I don't believe in 'cheat days'. I enjoy what I eat, and I eat mindfully. That's the only balance I follow.
Q: Any new projects you're excited about?
Soha Ali Khan: I'm most excited about my podcast. It's still in the early stages, there's no brand or platform attached to it yet, but I'm using it as a space to talk about women's health, mental well-being, and everything we've been talking about in this interview. That's the direction I'm heading in, and it really excites me. I'm also excited about being able to use my voice, my connection with the media, and the people who follow my work to talk about the things that truly matter to me.