Don't get swindled in the name of love: Tips to avoid romance scams
Financial scams are evolving, with some of the most dangerous ones no longer starting with a cold call or phishing email, but a conversation that feels personal. Romantic financial scams (or romance scams), often disguised as genuine connections, are costing everyday South Africans millions.
In a growing trend locally, reminiscent of what viewers saw in the Netflix documentary The Tinder Swindler, scammers use charm, digital intimacy and emotional manipulation to swindle unsuspecting victims out of thousands of rands.
Ester Ochse, product head of FNB Integrated Advice, warns that these scams are on the rise, particularly targeting people who are active on dating platforms or those who engage regularly on social media.
'Romance scams are not just about emotional manipulation; they're calculated financial heists. Using strategies such as social engineering, scammers build trust over weeks or months, only to strike when you least expect it, often under the guise of a crisis or business opportunity,' Ochse says.
Some of the behavioral red flags to lookout for:
Too good to be true: Overly polished profiles, instant emotional connections and sudden promises of a lavish lifestyle.
Overly polished profiles, instant emotional connections and sudden promises of a lavish lifestyle. Urgency and secrecy: Claims of emergencies or opportunities that require immediate funds or a request to make use of your bank account, often with instructions not to tell family or friends.
Claims of emergencies or opportunities that require immediate funds or a request to make use of your bank account, often with instructions not to tell family or friends. Distant relationships: Scammers often claim to be working abroad, or in remote areas, to avoid face to face meetings.
Scammers often claim to be working abroad, or in remote areas, to avoid face to face meetings. Requests for money: These start small (airtime, data, food) and escalate to large sums for travel, investments, or emergencies.
These scams don't just empty out your bank account; they can derail your long-term financial goals or implicate you in other fraudulent activities,' adds Ochse. 'And during a time when many South Africans are trying to build financial resilience, every cent counts.'
A growing concern in South Africa and globally
Online romance scams are becoming more common as more people look for love online. In 2022, South Africans were scammed out of over R125m by dating scammers, according to the Council for Scientific and Industrial Research.
And in 2024, commercial crime rose by 18%, with romance scams playing a leading role in that increase, according to the SAPS. These figures highlight just how important it is to stay alert and protect yourself when building relationships online.
How to stay safe
Ochse urges consumers to treat new digital relationships like you would treat your online banking password or PIN – never share it with anyone.
Ettienne Fourie, head of fraud for retail at FNB adds: 'We strongly encourage people to always remain vigilant and cautious to mitigate the chance of these fraudulent incidents materialising. Customers need to be aware that fraudsters are constantly coming up with new ways to deceive you to ultimately defraud you, including the use of romantic relationships. If something seems too good to be true, it usually is.'
'Love is not a financial plan,' says Ochse. 'If someone you've never met in person asks for money, step back and ask yourself why. In many cases, the person on the other side of the screen is playing the long game. Don't be swindled, your heart might recover but your finances may not,' adds Ochse.
Customers are encouraged to use their banking channels to immediately report any suspicious activity or unauthorised transactions in their bank accounts, for immediate action to help protect their money.
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