The cherub-faced boy wrecking his family's home: Five-year-old has left £3,000 'trail of destruction' behind him - but his mother says it's just part of the 'parenthood journey'

Daily Mail​

7 days ago

The mother and father of a 'boisterous' five-year-old who leaves a 'trail of damage' behind him believe he has cost them around £3,000 in home repairs.
Little Jesse Thomas, five, has destroyed TVs, walls, a chandelier and a conservatory door, according to his mother, Emma, 41, but she and her husband say they accept his behaviour as part of their 'parenthood journey'.
Emma, an advertising strategist, who lives in Southwick, West Sussex, with her partner and two children - Jesse has an eight-year-old brother named Wilbur - says her youngest son began causing chaos from just six months old, pulling plants apart and knocking things over.
Jesse's parents refrain from punishing their youngest son, who has also scrawled on the banister in blue marker pen and written his name on the dining table in biro, believing that his 'remorse is punishment enough.'
By 18 months, Jesse had climbed on the TV and pulled it down from its stand, leading to a £500 replacement. Emma then added safety straps to prevent it happening again - but he later smashed the screen by throwing a toy at it.
And earlier this year, he threw gravel at the conservatory door during a tantrum; the glass shattered as a result, which set Emma back a further £500.
The patient mother avoids strict punishments such as the naughty step, preferring to talk things through, but says his teachers have told her they think he lacks 'a sense of danger'.
Emma explains: 'I don't use a naughty step or anything like that - a lot of the damage comes down to him being overexcited or playing rough or he's upset about something.
'We can try and unpick it with him so that it doesn't happen again. Maybe we could be stricter about it, maybe we could be angrier.
'But I think at the end of the day, we'd be punishing him quite a lot if it was over every little thing he damaged, and I think remorse is punishment enough.'
Emma describes Jesse as a 'very loud and boisterous child' and says his movements have always been followed by a 'trail of damage'.
He began to 'crawl and move around' at about six months of age and soon started pulling leaves off houseplants, knocking things over, and, by 18 months, had his first 'big breakage'.
When Emma and her husband were not looking, Jesse climbed on the television, pulling it down on top of himself.
Fortunately, he was not hurt and Emma was 'not angry' – she was 'more concerned' about him than the TV.
She spent around £500 on a replacement and bought safety straps to stop it from toppling again.
She explained: 'You create the environment for the child and we missed something there to protect him almost.
'About four weeks after we had our new TV, with the straps, he threw a toy at it and it smashed.
'We were just so dumbfounded after that happened – I think we were angry, but it was just so ridiculous that we just ended up laughing and we just bought a new TV, and there we were, four weeks later, needing to buy another new one because the same thing had happened.
'There's also a broken pixel in our current one from something else he's thrown when we were not looking.'
Even 'before he could fully communicate', Emma had conversations with Jesse about what's 'soft and hard to throw' to avoid more damage.
But as Jesse has got older, 'he's got stronger' and throwing things is often his 'go-to response' when he feels angry.
'There is evidence of Jesse pretty much everywhere I look,' Emma said.
'We've got this glass chandelier, three pieces of glass are smashed because something was thrown up at them.
'I can see milk splashes all up the wall from where - he throws his drink around instead of putting it down.
'We actually had our lounge renovated a couple of years ago and literally within weeks of it being painted, there were wiggly lines of glue all over the wall.
'But it doesn't stop in the lounge – it goes all the way upstairs, it just looks like a snail trail, and we're reluctant to paint over it, it just feels like he'll do it again.
'He loves climbing up the blinds – now they're split.
'We can't leave pens anywhere – last time we did, he wrote his name on our wooden dining table.'
Day to day, Jesse wants to 'get involved with everything and anything' and struggles to stay still.
'Even when I think about the walk to school, it takes an absolute age because he has to climb up every wall and every tree that we pass,' she says.
'He has to run through everyone's garden.'
At school, Emma said there haven't been reports of Jesse damaging anything – but his teachers say he doesn't seem to have a 'sense of danger' and are working with him to 'help limit his climbing and find appropriate things' to climb.
Emma and the school do not believe Jesse shows signs of any special educational needs.
The damage at home has not stopped. Around Easter this year, Jesse had a 'tantrum' and threw gravel at the conservatory door, shattering one of the panes of glass and costing Emma £500 to repair it.
She said: 'I actually didn't think he'd break the glass - at the end of the day it was an accident, he didn't mean to do it, he was just having a little tantrum.
'So it's hard to be angry, we were frustrated, but I don't want to put the blame on him and he was genuinely upset after it happened – his demeanour changed completely.
'He went from being sort of a loud, angry child to very quiet, looking slightly upset.
'He knows it costs us a lot of money – to him a pound is a lot of money.'
Jesse has broken two TVs, according to Emma, and also damaged the current one by throwing something at it (pictured right)
Because of the ongoing damage, Emma has delayed any further renovation work until her children are older.
Checkatrade, a website which connects people to local tradespeople, estimates the average cost to parents for home damage caused by children is £449 per child per year and the average parent is left footing a bill of nearly £15,000 by the time their children have turned 18.
After speaking with other parents, Emma says she realises she is not alone – she now sees it as 'part of the journey'.
'I don't think we're going to see a huge change in his behaviour until he finishes at least key stage one,' Emma adds.
'If Jesse was not destroying things, there would be something else to overcome with him in our parenthood journey.'