Spice of life: Scurryfunging: Quick-fix art of panic cleaning

Hindustan Times

30-06-2025

The other day, I stumbled upon an intriguing word, scurryfunging, and it may seem alien to you. Sounds like something you'd catch after eating spurious street food, right? Or may be a distant cousin of scavenging. But nope! It's actually the highly underrated art of panic-fuelled and frenzied tidying up of the house before the arrival of unexpected guests. Paradoxical it may seem, in a frenzied effort to pass off our house as the Pinterest-worthy haven of joy, we turn the whole house upside down in a short span, creating chaos and confusion by turning on the panic button. (Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Believe it or not, this is one practice ubiquitous in all cultures. Look, it is understandable that you may deny it to avoid sheepishness or you may pretend that your house is always spic and span but let's be honest here. All of us indulge in last-minute decluttering of the house.
Our OCD-like cleaning compulsions are at their peak and the whole house seems to be on a rock and roll spree before our 'Atithi Devobhava' reaches. Suddenly, everyone in the house transforms into contestants on a Big Brother game show — trying to outdo each other.
We turn from Netflix-and-chill to clean, fix and drill in no time. Moms turn into cruel and callous dictators giving commands like, 'Fold those clothes! Hide the shoes! Keep your bags in order!' Honestly speaking, the poor little souls who were living their best lives five minutes ago, are traumatised to the hilt. Now, they're stuffing toys, books, and possibly their own dreams into closets and under beds while muttering under their breath, 'Why do people even visit us?'
Clothes hanging on the pegs magically disappear like genies (read: are thrown into cupboards), no-purpose polythene bags are dumped, and anything remotely embarrassing is shoved behind a curtain or inside the silently screaming wardrobes already misused or overused.
Then comes the turn of washrooms in the scurryfunging saga. Shampoo bottles are rearranged; some fancy looking mini perfumes and luxury products are highlighted; and fresh neatly folded towels tumble out of cupboards in their royal glory and splendour. A generous splash of Harpic followed by a frantic wipe-and-dry technique may leave your arms sore the next day. Not to miss the diffuser emanating relaxing aromas!
All of this effort, mind you, is to pretend that we are the most orderly, disciplined and organised beings who have their lives (and socks drawers) in place. Ironically, we may spend hours scrolling motivational Instagram reels on 'inner cleanliness' and minimalism, but what we focus on in real terms is the façade of outer cleanliness. Also, paradoxical it may seem, in a frenzied effort to pass off our house as the Pinterest-worthy haven of joy, we turn the whole house upside down in a short span, creating chaos and confusion by turning on the panic button.
So, the next time someone says we're reaching in a few minutes, just smile, take a deep breath, do the basics and do not go overboard. Remember: You're not alone. It's ok to not look okay or pieced together always.
[e-mail]
The writer is an assistant professor of English at Mehr Chand Mahajan DAV College for Women, Chandigarh.