Boundaries, Baggage & Bliss: A Modern Guide to Navigating Summer Family Reunions

Harpers Bazaar Arabia

2 days ago

Heading home for the holidays? Here's how to survive the inevitable family flare-ups…
As summer sets in and the world stretches out again, many expats return to their home countries – to the familiar warmth of extended families, home-cooked meals, and stories retold over and over again. But let's be honest: the anticipation of reunions often comes laced with a mix of nostalgia, tension, and emotional minefields. Whether it's a passive-aggressive comment over dinner, a resurfaced sibling rivalry, or the suffocating weight of being seen as your 16-year-old self, going home can bring up as much discomfort as it does joy.
Roh Hafez, Life Coach at The Hundred Wellness Centre in Dubai, understands this rocky emotional terrain well. As she puts it, 'Many of us have done the work – emotionally, mentally, spiritually. But the moment we step back into the space we grew up in, old triggers can resurface like clockwork. The key is learning how to show up as our evolved selves, while still honouring where we came from.'
So how do we survive (and even thrive) during these emotionally layered homecomings? Here's your elegant survival guide – think of it as emotional SPF for the soul.
Pack Your Boundaries Alongside Your Bikini
Before you even board the flight home, Roh recommends checking in with your emotional suitcase. 'Setting clear, compassionate boundaries is not about creating distance – it's about protecting your peace,' she explains. That might mean politely exiting triggering conversations, excusing yourself when you need space, or even deciding ahead of time which hot-button topics (politics, parenting, past relationships) are off the table. Boundaries don't have to be dramatic. Sometimes it's as simple as choosing presence over performance. 'Pause, breathe, observe. Acknowledge what's coming up for you before reacting,' says Roh. 'Give your inner child a bit of kindness before diving into your adult role again.'
Let Go of the Old Script
Just because your aunt still comments on your weight or your cousin treats you like the black sheep doesn't mean you have to keep playing your old role. 'People change – or at least, we hope they do. But even if they don't, you have,' Roh says. 'Approach your family with fresh eyes. Maybe your once-stern father has softened. Maybe your sister is more open than you remember. Release the old narrative and be open to new dynamics.' It's a gentle reminder that family roles aren't fixed. You're not obligated to shrink yourself just to fit back into an outdated storyline.
Don't Underestimate the Power of Ritual
Amid the emotional nuances of reconnection, shared activities can create new neural pathways for love and joy. 'Family traditions, even the smallest ones, can shift energy from tension to togetherness,' says Roh. Whether it's cooking your grandmother's lentil soup, playing a board game from your childhood, or watching old home videos, anchoring time together in ritual can provide both comfort and levity. This is also a powerful way to include the younger generation – connecting them to heritage, food, and collective memory in an easy, embodied way.
Create a Soft Exit Strategy
It's okay to leave the party early. In fact, it's okay to leave the whole reunion early if your emotional well-being is being compromised. 'You don't need to explain or justify your need for rest, space, or solitude,' Roh says. 'Self-trust means knowing when to lean in and when to lovingly step away.' If you know a certain lunch or dinner may be triggering, build in a follow-up plan – a walk with a friend, a solo coffee break, or a moment to journal and decompress.
Be the Calm, Not the Chaos
Clear, grounded communication can prevent misunderstandings and soften conflict. But don't go in trying to fix everything or everyone. 'You're not there to solve generational trauma in one weekend,' Roh laughs. 'You're there to witness, connect, and contribute where you can.' Sometimes, the most revolutionary thing you can do is hold space – for yourself and for others – with grace, empathy, and calm.
Because Family Isn't Perfect. And That's Okay.
Summer reunions can be beautiful, messy, and deeply transformative. But only if we allow ourselves to approach them with emotional flexibility and self-compassion. As Roh reminds us, 'You don't need the perfect family moment – just the real one. Stay soft. Stay sovereign. And if nothing else, stay hydrated.'
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