'The transphobic reaction to I Kissed a Boy season 2 is not okay'

Yahoo

19-05-2025

Spending a little too long in the underwear aisle? Feeling like you don't belong at school? Choosing one diva at birth who you devote the rest of your life to above all others? When you grow up as gay, clues often show up along the way, chief among them being when you kiss a boy and you like it.
It's no wonder then that BBC's I Kissed a Boy proved to be such a hit when the first season arrived in May 2023. After Love Island claimed their dating format could never work with queer competitors — The L in LGBTQ+ stands for "logistical difficulties" — Dannii Minogue's show instantly proved ITV wrong.
The first dating show to exclusively feature gay men was quickly followed up by I Kissed a Girl, with a cast made up of women who love women. Both were unapologetically queer and both were warmly received by most people, yet the reaction has been very different this time around for I Kissed a Boy season two.
You'd think the promise of more kissing would be a welcome one — who doesn't love kissing? — but this year's cast announcement brought out the worst in some people.
While some rightly criticised the lack of body diversity this time around, a surprise given how well season one did on that front, others were more mean-spirited.
Viral tweets criticised their overall appearance while also honing in on the looks of specific contestants. Big talk from anonymous accounts with more numbers than letters in their name. Except, some of the tweets weren't just composed by faceless trolls and bots. Some were written by other gay men who clearly have nothing better to do than tear down their fellow gays.
It's one thing to hear baseless criticism from some people who were always going to hate on the show regardless of its actual merit. But to see gays join in on the "fun" and tear down their own community is more disappointing than the end of The White Lotus season three (and more nasty than anything Greg had cooked up for Belinda).
Obviously, I'm not going to share any of these comments verbatim or embed the posts for that matter either. They've already received way too much attention as it is. And that's especially true for the ugliest comments that were reserved for one contestant in particular.
Ahead of season two, it was revealed that a gay trans man named Lars had been cast in the show. His inclusion is groundbreaking in just about every way possible, and the announcement was received warmly by people who have something in their chest that doctors often refer to as a "heart".
Yet in the wake of the Supreme Court's recent ruling on trans rights, it seems that those who are lacking said organ are more emboldened than ever to speak out against trans people for simply existing, let alone doing so on telly. And it's not just kneejerk hatred, which would be bad enough.
Some of the language being used is truly abhorrent. Hurtful words should not be used lightly given the harm they can and continue to inflict on people, so using them so cruelly in this way is just sickening and completely intolerable.
The sentiment behind much of this hate is that trans men are not real men, therefore a contestant like Lars is encroaching on a gay male space by "pretending" to be a man.
There's so much wrong with this idea. It's hard to know where to begin.
Kissing a trans man doesn't make a gay man less gay somehow, not to mention that plenty of men are bisexual or sexually fluid anyway. Consent is obviously key to a show like this, which means everyone in the cast is free to kiss or not kiss who they please.
After some claimed that the show is "homophobic," a show that exclusively features boys kissing boys, the BBC responded by saying: "I Kissed a Boy is and always has been an inclusive dating show about finding love. All applicants are asked their dating preference and they are matched accordingly."
When the cast and other gay men online say they're attracted to Lars, trolls disagree, arguing that all gay men should be into the same things. But that's dumb and reductive for a vast number of reasons. What about gay men who date bisexual men, for example? What about men who had relationships with women before coming out? Are they any less gay because of that?
Bids to gate-keep homosexuality make no sense because sexuality is a spectrum. Who are you to say a trans man can't be gay? Or that a gay man is less gay because he likes kissing a trans man who he finds attractive?
There's no one way to be gay or straight, and "there's no right way to be a trans guy" either, as Lars himself points out early on in I Kissed a Boy. It's very important to remember that, especially with the storm of hatred around this show.
But in the Italian masseria, at least, there's love still. Not just love of the kissing, sexy kind either, but the camaraderie that can come with putting like-minded queer folk together in one space. Two episodes in, friendships are already forming, connections that will likely last long after the season has finished, and their acceptance of each other will help kids watching love themselves too.
I can't even begin to imagine how teenage me would have felt watching boys kiss boys in such mainstream fashion, or dancing with each other in fabulous genderqueer outfits. That feeling I wish I could have for myself, one that many gay men watching now might feel, is likely increased tenfold for trans men tuning in.
In episode two, the boys strut around topless in catwalk fashion, including Lars, whose top surgery scars can still be seen on his chest. No one makes a big deal of it, including the show itself, but it will be a big deal for trans men watching. The same goes for the moment when fellow contestant Jack D said he's honoured that Lars disclosed his identity so early on to him. And how often do we as viewers get to hear a trans man like him dispel stereotypes regarding trans men and what kind of sex they enjoy?
The negative reaction to I Kissed a Boy is not okay this season, but what emphasis on that discussion risks losing is the overwhelming positivity that also comes from groundbreaking telly like this. For every bigot who loudly spouts their vitriol online, there's a trans kid out there, or a parent of a trans kid, who's coming closer to understanding themselves better thanks to shows like this one.
And that kind of reaction is more than just okay. It's bloody marvellous, a beautiful, vital beacon for trans people watching at home who just want to go about their lives kissing boys, girls, and everything in between.
I Kissed A Boy airs at 9pm on BBC Three and streams on BBC iPlayer.