Olive visited her husband's murderer in prison. They hugged, and she forgave him

SBS Australia

5 days ago

People respond differently to crime. Some put their lives at risk to help, while others don't intervene. Insight explores how people navigate the consequences of crime and whether it's possible to move on from being caught up in it. Watch episode Caught Up in a Crime 8.30pm Tuesday 12 August on SBS or live on SBS On Demand . Olive Gully's husband Jason was killed in 2004 trying to stop an armed robbery in a Melbourne club where he worked as a security guard. "We were both new parents, and six months later, hell broke loose. Our world caved in for my son and I," Olive told Insight. In 2008, Wally Rawiri White was sentenced to 26 years in prison (with 20 years non-parole) for murder and armed robbery. Olive spent over a decade dealing with her anger. She says that through extensive therapy, she realised she needed more details from White about what happened that night.
"It was important to me because he never mentioned anything in court about the last steps that he took. To me, that was unfinished business", she said.
Involved in the Milperra Massacre Damian 'Wildman' Duffy was just a baby when his parents were involved in the Milperra Massacre on Father's Day, 1984. This violent confrontation between two motorcycle gangs, the Comancheros and the Bandidos, in the car park of a Sydney pub left seven people dead — including 14-year-old bystander Leanne Walters — and 20 injured. Both of Damian's parents were arrested. His father, Robert John Heeney, was convicted of manslaughter and jailed. "My mum was charged with affray, and I think they later dropped that charge due to not being able to identify her in the courtroom", Damian told Insight. In the years after the massacre, his mother developed addictions to drugs and alcohol.
She was in a car accident when Damian was nine years old. As a result, she lost the ability to walk, talk, and feed herself — requiring permanent care until she died in 2012.
Damian's parents were involved in the Milperra Massacre. Source: Supplied Damian, now 40, described his early years as chaotic and unstable, resulting in him having difficulties with managing anger. Navigating a relationship with his "very violent and angry" father after his prison release was difficult. "I thought I had to be like him. Maybe if I were more like him, I'd be a bit more accepted," Damian said. Damian says his father (who died in 2008) introduced him to drugs when he was 18 years old. He says this led to him developing a methamphetamine addiction. "I ended up not only taking drugs, but I started dealing drugs ... I became a drug addict because that was an ultimate escape." During his struggle with family trauma and with substances, Damian says he acted out: "saying nasty things and being nasty to people and responding with violence".
"I didn't have to deal with anything. And I felt like I had no conscience ..."
'I hated him, and I still hate him today' In 2014, Sarah and Peter Milosevic were driving home one night when another car collided with theirs. "There were pieces of car everywhere. There were traffic lights that had been knocked over. We'd been pushed through a brick wall — there were bricks everywhere," Peter told Insight. Sarah says emergency services spent hours extracting her from the car while she was in and out of consciousness. They both suffered significant injuries. Sarah was also 39 weeks pregnant and was due to give birth a few days later. Their unborn baby Sophie died due to injuries sustained in the crash.
"It wasn't actually until after she was delivered, and I held her for the first time, that it was real," Sarah said of that night.
Peter and Sarah were due to have a baby just a few days after they were in a car crash. Source: SBS Queensland police obtained a warrant for blood tests for both drivers. Peter tested negative for drugs and alcohol, while the other driver tested positive for both. The other driver lost his licence for five months and was fined $950. Sarah feels he was not held to full account for his actions. "I hated him, and I still hate him today."
Under the Queensland legislation at the time, Sophie's life counted as part of Sarah's injuries.
Months after the crash, Sarah and Peter started campaigning for legal reforms in Queensland. "I wanted unborn babies to be recognised when killed due to a criminal act", Sarah said. The couple specified they only sought recognition for criminal circumstances.
"I wanted people to not be charged with the death of an unborn baby in cases of accidents ..."
'We could finally rest' A decade after the car crash, Peter and Sarah were able to provide Sophie with a legacy in 2023 — which provided them with some sense of closure. After nearly nine years of campaigning, Queensland passed Sophie's Law, which mandates that courts in that state consider the death of an unborn child when sentencing offenders.
"It allowed me to grieve. We could finally rest", Sarah said.
The mental impact of crime Forensic psychologist Ahu Kocak told Insight that there are several factors affecting how much someone will be affected by being caught up in a crime — including someone's age and the crime's intensity. "Whether they're a victim or a perpetrator can make a difference by way of how much exposure they've had to violence, for example..." Kocak said. She says that fundamentally, humans like to believe the world is safe. "We like to believe that our homes are a safe place. Our partners, our parents, our families are a safe place. The city is a safe place. The shopping centre is a safe place." And when faced with the reality that this may not always be the case, "it can reinforce or create the belief that the world is, in fact, not a very safe place".
Kocak says that this chronic sense of mistrust and feeling of not being able to overcome it, is what trauma essentially is.
Helping others on their path The passage of time has seen changes for Damian as he navigates through the trauma of his unstable beginnings, which were largely informed by crime. "I strayed from the path many times. I found myself going back to old habits and just being lost again. I think that's a part of growth is, is being lost and allowing yourself to be lost ..." he said. "But over time, I started to really settle into the foundation of the person I am now."
Damian is now a leadership coach and youth mentor in Northern Territory communities where he visits people in adult prisons and helps with bail support. He says that sharing his life experience helps others on their path.
Damian has been working with crocodiles since 2012. Source: Supplied He believes his connection with nature and wild animals — including crocodiles — helped him discover himself. "Crocodiles are one of the most misunderstood animals that I can think of ... And it's the same with me. I feel that connection of just being misunderstood ...
"But whereas I have a voice, crocodiles do not. I don't want to stand by and watch other people or other things get hurt."
Forgiving her husband's murderer Sixteen years after her husband died, Olive met with his murderer in prison through a restorative justice program. Their meeting lasted over four hours. They cried and hugged, and Olive read White a letter of forgiveness. "He apologised to me and not only to my son, but to my family. And he apologised to Jason's family and to his own family," she said. Olive says that in the five years since the meeting, her mind has become much clearer. "I'm in a good headspace and I move on — let go of my past." For addiction support, contact National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline [phone]). For natal and post-natal grief, contact Red Nose Australia (1300 308 307) or Griefline (1300 845 745). For crisis and mental health support, contact Lifeline (13 11 14), SANE Australia (1800 187 263) or 13Yarn (139 276), a 24/7 Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islanders crisis support line.