Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz suffering 'identity crisis' in family feud

Daily Mirror

2 days ago

As Brooklyn Beckham's Instagram post sends tongues wagging, we examine the potential reasons behind the Beckham family's alleged feud, with experts offering their professional take
The Beckhams have long been known as a tight-knit bunch, but in recent times, whispers of a feud have exposed supposed cracks in their picture-perfect family unit. Brooklyn Beckham, the eldest of David and Victoria Beckham's brood of four, is rumoured to have distanced himself from his famous parents in recent times, making his loyalties clear in a recent, telling Instagram post.
Sharing a video of himself and wife Nicola Peltz zipping along on a motorbike, the 26-year-old photographer vowed: "My whole world x I will love you forever x I always choose you baby x you're the most amazing person i know xx me and you forever baby."
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Amid a backdrop of gossip and perceived slights within the House of Beckham, many have taken this message to be far more than innocent romantic sentiment. Indeed, it's believed by many that Brookyln is here signalling his allegiance to 30-year-old Nicola, above his own family.
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But what has gone so wrong behind closed doors? And what's the real reason behind the alleged Beckham feud? Here, experts offer their perspective.
Beckham family expectations
Growing up in a family with high expectations can be particularly true for "strong-willed individuals with assertive personalities", says Angela Vossen, lead sex & relationship coach and founder of Sextasy. This is especially true when, like the Beckhams, the family in question has a "high-profile, tightly knit public brand" to uphold.
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As noted by Angela, "tensions" in the Beckham household appear to have risen over time, while the couple seem to have railed against family traditions from the early days of their marriage. In one telling example, remarked upon by Angela, Nicola opted for a Valentino wedding dress over a Victoria Beckham design.
Angela told the Mirror: "This rising tension can mean that even relatively small issues or disagreements start to be seen as bigger snubs, adding to the sense of 'us v them'. Psychologically, couples may bond tightly when they perceive external criticism or control, a phenomenon called 'reactive independence.' This is particularly true for younger couples like Brooklyn and Nicola, who are navigating their identity as a unit in the public eye.
"If one partner feels their spouse is being unfairly targeted—say, through media scrutiny or family disapproval—they may double down on their allegiance, as seen in Brooklyn's Instagram post: 'I will always choose you'. This public declaration, interpreted as pointed, reflects a protective instinct, prioritising the partnership over familial harmony."
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Although this dynamic "can strengthen a couple's bond", Angela warns that it could see spouses risk "long-term family estrangement if not balanced carefully".
Identity crisis
According to Sally Baker, an accredited, award-winning senior therapist, clinical supervisor, author and speaker, couples may "feel compelled to unite against their families as they want to prove their allegiance to each other" in the face of perceived attacks.
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Furthermore, just three years on from their dreamy Palm Beach wedding, Brooklyn and Nicola are still figuring out who they are as a marital unit in their own right. This is, of course, a far more complicated task to navigate when your parents rank among the most iconic couples in celebrity history.
Sally told us: "A newly married couple are forging their identity apart from their family of origin. They cannot entertain the idea that they might be in the wrong or have behaved badly. To consider that takes confidence in themselves as a couple.
"That comes with time and experience, but until then, offspring can seem blinkered and casually unkind as they carve their own path. Thankfully, most family bonds are strong and enduring. However much pain has been inflicted, families are forgiving and patiently wait for their adult child to rejoin the fold, with or without their partner in tow."
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'Loud and clear message'
Teresha Young, multi-award-winning International wellness and relationship coach, advised the Mirror that the 'it's us against the world' bond is far from unusual among couples embroiled in familial dramas, especially if "there's been a sense of betrayal or some serious hurt from family in the past".
As explained by Teresha: "If one partner feels let down by their family, whether in the past or right now, they might double down on protecting their relationship and turn to their partner to meet their emotional needs.
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"Couples who live by that 'ride or die' motto tend to be all about passion, loyalty, and the need to feel chosen and secure in their personal relationships - and when both partners share that mindset, their compatibility can really amplify this dynamic, often leading them to bump their romantic relationship up the priority list ahead of family ties in tough times."
Delving into Brooklyn's recent motorbike post, which body language expert Judi James previously stated seemed "brimming with symbolism", Teresha added: "Take Brooklyn's 'I will always choose you' post as an example. It's not just a sweet reassurance for Nicola – it's also a loud and clear message for the world: 'We're in this together'. Whilst that can make their bond stronger, it might stir the pot with family, creating even bigger divides."
'Emotional survival strategy'
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According to EFT Couple Therapist, Thomas Westenholz, the dynamic seen between Brooklyn and Nicola could well be "an emotional survival strategy", and this is far from an unusual tactic.
Thomas explained: 'When couples unite against family, it's often an emotional survival strategy, a way of saying 'I need to know you'll choose me when I feel unsafe'. From an attachment lens, this reflects a deep need for security, especially when the wider family system feels critical or rejecting.
"The phrase 'I will always choose you' might sound romantic, but it can also be a signal of stress in the couple bond. When one or both partners feel emotionally threatened, they may pull together tightly, not just out of love, but out of fear of being alone in the conflict."
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He continued: 'Strong couple bonds don't require cutting others out, they're built on the safety of being able to turn toward each other, even when outside relationships are strained. Real security means you can hold connection and boundaries at the same time."
'Universal truth'
The Mirror also heard from Chartered Psychologist and CBT Practitioner Dr. Manpreet Dhuffar-Pottiwal, who remarked that Brooklyn and Nicola's "all or nothing" rebellion "underscores a universal truth".
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Dr. Manpreet commented: "The Beckham-Peltz saga underscores a universal truth - lasting harmony requires families to examine their shared emotional patterns, not just blame individuals. While personalities and compatibility influence why couples unite against families, healing begins when systems replace scapegoating with curiosity about their own role in conflicts.
"For the Beckhams, this might involve privately exploring their resistance to Nicola's integration, while Brooklyn and Nicola could benefit from nurturing a connection without confrontation. In British culture, where stoicism and appearances often trump emotional openness, such introspection demands courage – but it's the only path to breaking free from these deeply ingrained cycles."