I've had an affair in EVERY decade of my marriage: In my 20s it was revenge. In my 30s I wanted someone who listened. In my 40s I needed a boost. And then my 50s betrayal changed everything...
'It was just sex,' he said. 'It didn't mean anything. I know how you must feel, but please believe me when I say that.'
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The Sun
7 hours ago
- The Sun
My gay lover is threatening to send snaps of us having sex to my fiancée if I end our affair… my world is imploding
DEAR DEIDRE: MY gay lover says he will send photos of us having sex to my fiancée if I insist on ending our affair. All of this turmoil has made me realise how much I love my fiancée and how I can't bear the thought of hurting her or losing her. I'm 34 and she is 32. How do I make my lover come to his senses? A couple of months ago, I went on a stag weekend with a group of mates. I ended up sharing a room with a friend from my university days. A lot of drinking took place and on the second morning I woke up in bed with him. Naked. I'm not gay or even bisexual. But when he awoke and started kissing me, I found myself responding and we had sex again. Sex with my fiancée has been rubbish lately, and it felt incredible to be passionate and physical with someone again. So, when we got home and he messaged to say he wanted to meet again, I couldn't help myself. Since then we've been having a secret, and increasingly risky but thrilling, affair. One night I let him take pictures of us in bed, which he promised he would immediately delete. But last weekend, my fiancée started talking about wanting a baby, and I came to my senses. Dear Deidre: Spotting the signs your partner is cheating I realised I had to end my affair or I'd lose her. I told my lover we needed to stop. I expected him to understand. Instead, he said he couldn't let me go and that if I didn't agree to continue our sex sessions, he'd send my partner the pictures. I don't know what to do. It feels like my life is about to implode. Those are crimes. You need to make it clear to him that you can and will go to the police. Please get advice from (0345 6000 459). If you have concerns about your sexuality, see my support pack, Bisexual Questions. It would be wise for you to have an STI check. Find your nearest sexual health clinic through As for your fiancée, if you love her you need to work on restoring intimacy so nothing like this can happen again. My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, may help. DEAR DEIDRE: CARING for my abusive stepson has ruined my marriage and my sex life. I'm just so drained and exhausted I struggle to be in the mood for intimacy. How can I rescue our relationship? I'm a 42-year-old man and last year married my girlfriend, who is 39. She has a son, 15, from a previous relationship. He clearly disliked me from the start five years ago. But since we got married he's been nasty and violent. After dealing with him, sex is the last thing on my mind. I have no energy. My wife feels rejected, and it's adding to the arguments we're having over her son. Even though we love each other, I sometimes think this marriage is too hard. What should I do? DEIDRE SAYS: Raising stepchildren is challenging, particularly teenagers. It sounds like your wife's son is angry about his parents ' break-up and resentful of the fact you've moved in with his mum. He probably wants to come between you, so it's important you and your wife present a united front. Get parenting support from (0808 800 2222). Stress often affects libido. Talk to your wife about this so she understands, and try to get some time alone to reconnect. Couples counselling might also improve your relationship and sex life. See my support packs, How Counselling Can Help and Reviving A Man's Sex Drive. DUMPED OVER HIS CANNABIS PROBLEM DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend went out for a cigarette, but never returned. We had been arguing a lot over his drug use, but he denied he had a problem. I know we can't be together while he smokes so much weed, but I'm devastated. We're both in our late twenties and we were together for four years. He wasn't into drugs at the start of our relationship, but smoked more and more – until it was all he cared about. I told him he couldn't do drugs at home, so he went to smoke at his mates' homes for days on end. A few weeks ago we had a massive row and he said he was going out for a cigarette. That was the last I saw of him. His mum said he was staying at his friend's house. He didn't reply to my messages, so I texted him to say we were over. But I miss him and worry so much. DEIDRE SAYS: Drugs don't just destroy the user's life, they have a terrible impact on loved ones. But, sadly, you can't support your ex-boyfriend unless he wants to be helped. And you've tried. As much as you love him, you must look after yourself too. Talking to someone will help you to heal. Read my support pack, Drug Worries, and see which helps people affected by another person's addictions. Website also provides information and support. EX GUILT-TRIPS ME FOR DATING DEAR DEIDRE: IT'S been years since my marriage broke up, so why do I feel so guilty about dating someone new? I haven't done anything wrong, but my ex- husband is making me feel like I'm cheating on him. I'm 45 and was married for 16 years to a man I met at college. We split up four years ago. Our marriage gradually fell apart, mainly because my husband was moody and argumentative and often put me down. Eventually, I got tired of being miserable, realising I only had one life. We agreed to separate and eventually divorced. We have remained friends since, but I've often felt he's too reliant on me for emotional support. Recently, I decided it was time to start dating again. I didn't want to be single any more. I met a lovely guy online, who I have been seeing for a couple of months. He's kind, funny and great in bed. My ex used to make me feel fat and unattractive, but my new guy clearly loves my body. As things are getting serious, I told my ex I'd met someone. He's been really off with me ever since. He's acting like I've betrayed him, even though we're not together. How can I stop feeling bad and enjoy my new relationship? DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex-husband put you down so much it's damaged your self-esteem, that's why you're questioning yourself. But you have nothing to feel guilty about. You deserve happiness with someone who values you. The fact you still give him emotional support despite how he treated you shows what a caring person you are. He clearly doesn't want to lose that. But it's time to put yourself first. My support pack, Raising Self-Esteem, should help you to rebuild your confidence, and another one, Standing Up For Yourself, will help you make it clear to your ex that his guilt trip won't work.
Metro
8 hours ago
- Metro
Matthew Perry's doctor pleads guilty to supplying him with ketamine before death
A doctor charged with giving Matthew Perry ketamine before his death has now pleaded guilty. The actor, most known for his role as Chandler Bing in Friends, died in October 2023, at the age of 54 – an autopsy later revealed that he had been killed by 'acute effects of ketamine'. Following an investigation, five people were charged in connection with his death – including his live-in assistant, Kenneth Iwamasa, Erik Fleming, Dr Salvador Plasencia, Dr Mark Chavez and Jasveen Sangha, who was dubbed the 'Ketamine Queen'. Appearing in federal court in LA earlier today, Plasencia pleaded guilty to four counts of distribution of ketamine. According to AP, the 43-year-old only spoke to answer the judge's questions, confirming that his legal team had considered the possibilities of the pleas and sentencing. In a statement to the outlet, his lawyer later said: 'Dr Plasencia is profoundly remorseful for the treatment decisions he made while providing ketamine to Matthew Perry. 'He is fully accepting responsibility by pleading guilty to drug distribution. Dr Plasencia intends to voluntarily surrender his medical license, acknowledging his failure to protect Mr Perry, a patient who was especially vulnerable due to addiction.' Plasencia had initially pleaded not guilty, but changed his plea last month after an agreement was reached with prosecutors, who dropped two counts of falsifying records and three addition counts of distribution of ketamine. He was accused of supplying the bulk of Perry's ketamine in his final weeks, and faces a maximum of 40 years in prison. Rolling Stone reports that he signed the agreement on June 13, stating that he once administered the 17 Again star with ketamine in the backseat of a parked car in California. In another instance, he allegedly confirmed that he visited Perry's home in October 2023 to give him the drug, and watched as his 'blood pressure spiked', causing the actor to 'freeze up'. 'Not withstanding victim [Perry's] reaction, defendant left additional vials of ketamine with defendant Iwamasa, knowing that defendant Iwamasa would inject the ketamine into victim [Perry],' the paperwork reportedly said. Perry had been in the spotlight for decades, thanks to his starring role in Friends alongside Courteney Cox, Matt LeBlanc, Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Kudrow and David Schwimmer. He had been open about his addiction struggles throughout his career, including in his 2022 memoir, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing. Court documents state that he was taking ketamine 6 to 8 times a day in the time leading up to his death. It is thought that the TV icon found Plasencia about a month before his death, after asking Dr Chavez to help obtain the drug for him. Prosecutors claimed that they conspired to supply him with around 20 vials in exchange for $55,000 during the last weeks of his life, and charged him $2,000 for a single vial – which reportedly cost Chavez around $12. More Trending Plasencia reportedly called Perry a 'moron' in text messages to his fellow doctor, and wondered how much he'd be willing to pay for the drugs, according to communication uncovered in the indictment. He will be sentenced on December 3, while Chavez's hearing is on September 17, Fleming is due in court on November 12 and Iwamasa's sentencing will take place on November 19. Sangha is the only defendant who is yet to reach an agreement – she is accused of being a major ketamine dealer and is alleged to have provided the lethal dose that killed Perry. She has pleaded not guilty, and her trial is scheduled to begin next month. Got a story? If you've got a celebrity story, video or pictures get in touch with the entertainment team by emailing us celebtips@ calling 020 3615 2145 or by visiting our Submit Stuff page – we'd love to hear from you. MORE: Justin Timberlake slammed for doing 'bare minimum' at his concerts MORE: Fleetwood Mac icons confirm album release – here's why it's such a big deal MORE: Ozzy Osbourne's heartbreaking final texts to sister revealed days before death
Times
8 hours ago
- Times
Billionaire film mogul, 82, ‘treated husband like living experiment'
David Geffen's estranged husband has sued the billionaire film and music mogul for allegedly treating him like a 'living social experiment' during their two-year marriage. Donovan Michaels, 32, filed a lawsuit in the Los Angeles superior court accusing Geffen, 82, of breach of contract. He alleged the media proprietor had kicked him out of their New York home while attending Jeff Bezos's lavish wedding to Lauren Sánchez in Venice last month and reneged on a promise to provide him with lifelong financial support. The suit alleges Geffen used a 'toxic mix of seduction, control, promises of love and lavish displays of wealth to entrap' Michaels in a cycle of 'dependency, submission and humiliation'. Patty Glaser, a partner at the law firm representing Geffen, said: 'There was no contract — express, written, oral or implied — that has ever existed. We will be vigorously and righteously defending against this false, pathetic lawsuit.' According to the complaint, Geffen met Michaels in 2016 on the dating website and paid him $10,000 that night for sex. They were married in a private ceremony in Beverly Hills in March 2023 and Geffen, who has an estimated net worth of $8.8 billion, did not seek a prenuptial agreement, the complaint states. Geffen filed for divorce in May, citing irreconcilable differences. The pair had kept details of their relationship and separation private before Michaels's lawsuit was filed this week. Michaels, whose real name is David Armstrong, described himself in the suit as a vulnerable, marginalised young gay black man who had been systemically exploited by a 'wealthy, powerful white gay billionaire who believed himself untouchable'. The former model and dancer alleged Geffen had known about his troubled past growing up in foster care, but rather than showing empathy had treated him as an 'object of exploitation'. Geffen is said to have critiqued 'every aspect of Michaels's appearance' and body hygiene, and required him to get 'painful' laser and dental treatments. Michaels claimed he was constantly subjected to 'back-handed insults and put-downs' about his 'past and lack of sophistication'. He compared their relationship to the plot of the 1983 film Trading Places, alleging that Geffen began treating him like 'a living social experiment — a trophy to show off to his wealthy friends, under the guise of benevolence'. He claimed to have become a 'prop in Geffen's theatre of virtue, paraded around as evidence of Geffen's supposed altruism, while privately used as a sexual commodity'. 'Geffen told Michaels he loved him, and the two agreed to treat each other as life partners, share all assets equally and that Geffen would support Michaels financially for life,' the lawsuit states. 'Michaels gave up his dreams — his modelling career, his independence — to dedicate himself fully to this promise.' The lawsuit further alleges that while Geffen was celebrating aboard his $400 million superyacht Rising Sun before the Bezos-Sánchez wedding, he ordered Michaels to 'immediately vacate' their New York home and cut off his financial support. Michaels was left homeless at the same time that Geffen was 'decadently and extravagantly partying and dancing the night away in Venice, Italy with the other 0.0001 per cent of the wealthiest people on the planet', the complaint stated. 'While Geffen holds himself out to the public as an extraordinarily charitable man whose foundation gives millions and millions of dollars to advocacy and support groups for the homeless and disadvantaged populations, he is simultaneously endeavouring to render Michaels impoverished and homeless.' Geffen launched his eponymous music label Geffen Records in 1980, and signed top artists including John Lennon, Guns N' Roses, Nirvana and Aerosmith. In 1994, he co-founded the film studio DreamWorks with Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg. It produced the Shrek franchise, Saving Private Ryan and Gladiator. Geffen maintains properties in Beverly Hills, Malibu and New York, and owns one of the most expensive private art collections in the world.
