A Bachelorette, a Ballroom Dancer and a ‘Traitor' Walk Into a Bar

New York Times

20-02-2025

'My boob is hanging out, what's new,' Gabby Windey said, reaching a manicured hand into her bandeau top and tucking her left breast back into place.
Perched on a bar stool sipping a tequila soda in fishnets and heels, she balanced a real fur coat over her shoulders. 'It's vintage, it's vintage,' she said. 'I hope it was owned by like Sylvia Plath or somebody else really depressed like me.'
It was a chilly Monday night at Cubbyhole, a lesbian bar in the West Village of Manhattan, just a few days after Chrishell Stause, a real estate agent from 'Selling Sunset' with whom Ms. Windey had formed an alliance on the reality TV show 'The Traitors,' was eliminated.
Secluded to a 19th-century castle in the Scottish Highlands with their eccentrically dressed host, the actor Alan Cumming, the show's contestants try to suss out who in their midst is secretly (but not literally) offing them in their sleep.
Within the first few episodes of this season, Ms. Windey won over fans with her droll, deadly serious affect that many have compared to Jennifer Coolidge's. Like Ms. Coolidge in her best-known role of late on 'The White Lotus,' Ms. Windey can be underestimated by some — but that's a useful position to be in on a reality TV show predicated on deception and deflection.
'I can gaslight the hell out of anybody — but then, I don't know if I can really backstab,' she tells a confused Mr. Cumming. 'But I'd also be a good faithful because I'm loyal as hell.'
The cast of 'The Traitors' is composed of many reality TV veterans, from franchises including 'The Real Housewives,' 'Vanderpump Rules,' 'RuPaul's Drag Race,' 'Big Brother' and 'The Challenge.'
Ms. Windey, who is 34 but was hesitant to say so, is right at home among them, in a sense. Though she's been on television for only about three years, she has already been through the reality gauntlet.
A California-born former N.F.L. cheerleader for the Denver Broncos and a nurse who worked on the front lines during the Covid-19 pandemic, Ms. Windey traded pompoms and nasal swabs for roses in 2022 when she joined the cast of the 'The Bachelor.' She was the runner-up, which led her to a titular role on 'The Bachelorette' the next season, and a proposal and diamond ring.
But after a stint on 'Dancing with the Stars' (she came in second), Ms. Windey came out as a lesbian, ditching the fiancé and announcing a new relationship with a woman in an interview on 'The View.'
'It's miserable. They're all terrible,' Ms. Windey said of her various reality television experiences. 'This one' — referring to 'The Traitors,' which she filmed back in June — 'is the most fun to watch back, though.'
Still, Ms. Windey seems to find it somewhat improbable that she's landed there. A self-described bad liar with 'the memory of the goldfish,' Ms. Windey says she does not take naturally to the show's mind games.
'I'm not a strategic person; I'm normal. I don't have a personality disorder,' Ms. Windey said. 'I'm like, 'Does this come out in your relationships, or are you constantly refraining day in and day out not to manipulate the people that you're surrounded by?''
Early on, she aligned herself with a group of female contestants on the show, nicknamed 'The Bambis' for their collective doe-eyed nature. Among them was Ms. Stause of 'Selling Sunset,' whom Ms. Windey described as a 'pioneer for the lesbians.' (Ms. Stause, who was previously married to a man, married the nonbinary musician G Flip in 2023.)
There is a group chat where the women talk trash, Ms. Windey said, using an expletive. This season, the show's arguments, physical challenges and votes have regularly split along gendered lines.
This divide has made certain moments more delicious, she said, like watching Tony Vlachos, a police officer and former 'Survivor' contestant, cry after being eliminated.
'Watching a grown man break down over a murder mystery game could cure the patriarchy,' Ms. Windey said.
A woman walking by the bar stepped inside to ask for a photo after recognizing Ms. Windey through the window. Others drinking inside eyed her from across the room.
'She was very herself,' said Hannah Figurski, who identified herself as a fan of Ms. Windey's from her 'Bachelor' days. 'I'm kind of a weirdo, so I liked that she wasn't afraid to be who she is.'
Ms. Windey lives in Los Angeles, but she had been to Cubbyhole once before, she said, when she came into town to shoot her segment on 'The View' in 2023. She and her girlfriend, the comedian Robby Hoffman, stopped by the bar to celebrate afterward.
'I didn't want a huge interview because what more is there to say when you're gay other than 'I'm gay,'' she said. She recalled making out in the bar with Ms. Hoffman after the taping.
'I love P.D.A.,' Ms. Windey said, trailing off into song, belting out the chorus of 'What's Up?' by 4 Non Blondes playing from a nearby jukebox. (She did not sound half bad, for any casting directors on singing-based reality television shows who might be reading this.)
Ms. Windey's turn on 'The Traitors' has widened her audience on social media, where clips from her podcast, 'Long Winded,' regularly find tens of thousands of viewers. The meandering monologues, which Ms. Windey often delivers while wearing sunglasses inside, feel more like free-associated spoken word poems than typical podcast fodder.
'No, I have business hours. What are you doing calling me after 3 p.m.? I've lost all my confidence. I've just had lunch. I'm lethargic,' Ms. Windey said in a clip that was shared by the model Bella Hadid and has since become a meme.
She also often jokes about her mental health, drawing inspiration from some unlikely places, like 'The Catcher in the Rye,' which she's reading for the first time. 'He kind of sees things in a way that I do,' she said of its author, J.D. Salinger. 'I think everyone's inherently sad because I am.'
Ms. Windey added she was intrigued by his reclusive tendencies.
'I can't wait till I get to the place where I can say no,' she said in a TikTok video the next day, announcing that she had fallen ill because of her packed schedule. 'You'll know when I start saying no, because you'll never see me again.'