EXCLUSIVE No laughing matter! Top London comedy club that hosts the biggest celeb comics fails hygiene inspection

Daily Mail​

21-04-2025

A hugely popular central London comedy venue that has played host to some of the biggest names in British stand-up has been hit with a damning food hygiene rating.
The Top Secret Comedy Club in Covent Garden has had to make major changes after environmental health inspectors found evidence of mice, droppings on bar surfaces, and mould in the ice machine.
The club – just yards from the West End's theatres – was given a food hygiene score of 1 out of 5 by the Food Standards Agency, meaning 'major improvement is necessary.'
The venue, which has become a cult favourite thanks to its no-frills atmosphere and surprise sets from comedy royalty like Jack Whitehall, Romesh Ranganathan and Russell Howard, has now come under fire for its shockingly poor food hygiene practices.
MailOnline can reveal that the official report makes for grim reading.
Inspectors reported 'evidence of mice in the bar area' on not one but two separate occasions in September – a major red flag for any premises serving drinks to the public.
The report, seen by MailOnline, also noted: 'Droppings noted on surface / in the bar.'
'You must deep clean all areas (food and drink).'
Inspectors were so concerned by the findings that they ordered the venue to call in professional pest control immediately to carry out a full site survey and implement proper 'proofing' to block any further rodent access.
They also slammed the use of open bait trays, writing that they are 'not appropriate with food and drink' nearby – potentially putting customers at risk.
Further concerns were raised over the general state of the premises, which was described as 'dirty' with 'sticky floors', and most shockingly, the ice machine – a staple of any bar – was found to be 'very dirty / mouldy', casting serious doubt over the cleanliness of drinks being served to guests.
Despite not having an operational kitchen – the club encourages patrons to bring in their own takeaway – the bar and drinks area still fall under food safety regulations, and the rating of 1 suggests the club is falling dangerously short.
The venue is known for its stripped-back style, low ticket prices and the possibility of seeing household names test out new material in front of small audiences.
On any given night, it's not unusual for stars like Katherine Ryan, Seann Walsh, or even US comics like Louis CK to appear unannounced – making it a go-to spot for savvy Londoners in the know.
But now the spotlight is on a very different kind of performance – one taking place behind the bar, where health and hygiene practices appear to have slipped to a worrying low.
The Food Standards Agency's scoring system runs from 0 (urgent improvement necessary) to 5 (very good). A score of 1 is just one step above the very worst rating.
The club, which remains open and trading, has been approached for comment.
It comes after the club banned guests with Botox last month in order to liven up the crowd.
They claimed that 'frozen faces from Botox impact the entire atmosphere'.
Mark Rothman the owner of the club said at the time: 'I've had numerous complaints from performers who find it increasingly challenging to gauge audience engagement and bounce off their reactions.'
The club says it has taken this measure as a 'last resort' to help liven up the crowd.
'We hope trialing this ban will help move the needle and get facial reactions back into the room – for the benefit of our comedians and the audience,' adds Rothman.
Now famous comedian Jimmy Carr, 52, who recently debuted a new look and has admitted he can't stop getting 'tweakments' said he will no longer to play at the venue.
Speaking to Radio Times, he said: 'I would look surprised, if I could.
'Does that mean Katherine Ryan and I can no longer play the club?
'Because we're mostly Botox. Of course it's a PR stunt, but it's a fun PR stunt. It speaks to something interesting, which is when you watch live comedy, the person on stage isn't the only one performing.
'Being in an audience is performative: people laugh out loud in a way that maybe they wouldn't if they were just staring at their phone.'