Hoda Kotb Shares the Truth About Why She Left the 'Today' Show (Exclusive)

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Hoda Kotb is opening up about her decision to leave Today in PEOPLE's newest cover story
Stepping down as Today co-host has allowed Kotb to be there "to watch over" daughter Hope, 6, who is living with type 1 diabetes
Kotb shares what life is like being home and how her daughters are adjusting to having mom available all the timeHoda Kotb's last day on the Today show, Jan. 10, was an emotional one.
'From the minute I walked into 30 Rock that day to the minute I walked out, it's like this beautiful parade of people were there. Maria Shriver came out, Simone Biles came out, Andy Cohen, Kathie Lee Gifford, Jimmy Fallon. And you know what I remember about it all? I remember my heart breaking,' she tells PEOPLE in its newest cover story, on stands Friday. 'When you say goodbye to something you love, even though it's right, it's like your heart's broken and on display.'
When the cameras stopped rolling at 11 a.m. and the cast and crew and Kotb's friends from all facets of her life descended onto the stage to send her off with a glass of champagne, her co-host Jenna Bush Hager burst into tears. Kotb's daughters Haley, 8, and Hope, 6, also joined her on set — and Haley was concerned.
'She goes, I'm worried about Jenna,'' Kotb recalls. 'Jenna was holding and rocking her, and Haley was sitting there looking like she was protecting Jenna. Some things can be super sad and super beautiful, and that's what that was.'
It's been five months since Kotb, 60, walked away from one of the most coveted spots in broadcasting, and in that time she's been settling into a new life, relishing the amount of time she has for her daughters and making plans for the future. She's been hard at work launching a wellness company, Joy 101, complete with an app, live events and a subscription newsletter that will all center around themes of joy, mindfulness, meditation and wellness.
But it's the small things that have been filling her days with the most joy. 'It's really cool to just realize that there's so much more to life,' she says. 'I wasn't able to bear witness to my kids' daily lives because of what I was doing. I got to see Haley sing 'What a Wonderful World' at 9:15 a.m. — I would have missed that. I used to think life was the big things, but it really is all the stuff that happens in between.'
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Being there for things large or small has been critically important for Kotb as the family has navigated her younger daughter Hope's medical condition over the last two years. In February 2023, a sudden onset of mysterious symptoms landed Hope in the hospital for two weeks and forced Kotb to take a leave of absence from the Today show.
Now that the family have established a care routine that's working, Kotb reveals that Hope is living with type 1 diabetes, an autoimmune disease which prevents the pancreas from making its own insulin, requiring vigilant blood sugar monitoring and frequent insulin injections.
'It's kind of constant care for Hope. We're monitoring her 24/7,' says Kotb, who calls her daughter is a 'trooper' for having had to deal with the unpleasant realities of treatment.
'She was getting shots — four or five a day — every day for a year. Now she is getting them less frequently because we have some other means to get her what she needs, but there's a lot to it, Some kids can have sweets and she can't. If she's up in the night, we have to take care of her at night.'
Thoughtfully, Kotb adds, 'She is a happy, healthy, rambunctious, amazing kid, and we have to watch her. Diabetes is a part of her, but not all of her. I hope it shapes her but never defines her.'
Being able to be totally available for her daughter became a non-negotiable, Kotb says, something which was not possible when she was locked into a long-term contract for a job that had hard deadlines and call times on the Today set and a daily wake-up at 3:15 a.m.
'I really wanted to and needed to be here to watch over her. So, whenever she needs anything, and it can happen at night, multiple times, I'm up — I'm up up up,' she says. 'But I would never, ever want Hope to one day grow up and say, 'Oh, my mom left her job because [of me].' It wasn't that alone. But if you look at it cumulatively, it was a part of that decision.'
Now that she is working from home, Kotb jokes there's a 'split verdict' on having mom available all the time. 'I think that on some days they love it and sometimes I think I might be cramping their style a little bit, because they were used to a morning routine minus me,' she says. 'I still feel like I'm learning how to be a calmer mother, and I want to be that mom for them, so I'm still a work in progress there.'
But for Kotb, it's heaven. She wakes up at 4:30 — her version of 'sleeping in' after years of an even worse schedule — meditates and writes in her journal before the girls get up. After walking her kids to school in a big neighborhood group, Kotb sometimes hits the gym or heads for a tennis lesson — a new hobby! — before zeroing in on work plans.
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Afternoons are filled with an array of after-school activities, from bracelet-making to field hockey for Haley and lacrosse for Hope. In between, 'I pick up my guitar a lot more just because I can,' Kotb says. 'I go on walks with the other moms from the burbs here after dinner and I love that. Things I didn't do before because I was too tired.'
And nothing can replace the feeling of seeing her children totally relaxed, knowing Mom is not going anywhere. 'Sometimes I'm right there working in my office, and they'll run up to the window and wave to me and throw up a heart [with their hands]. They're fine because they want me to be here, they're just happy to see me, and then they'll go off and play,' she says.
And at night — with no more call times — the girls cuddle up on either side of Kotb in bed. 'I sleep in the middle so there's no rolling over — and it is not my favorite sleeping position — but when I wake up and they're both nuzzled into me, I'm thinking to myself like, 'Oh my gosh, look at me! I get to lay here with these two kids, and all they want to do is be as close to me as they can get.''
Read the original article on People