Expert Reveals Secrets to Raising Happy Kids
When it comes down to it, what we really want for our kids is for them to be happy. What better way to work on this than to look to Gretchen Rubin, who wrote the book on it. Rubin's bestseller, The Happiness Project, and her award-winning podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, gives a lot of pointers on finding joy.
Her latest book, Secrets of Adulthood, is out now, but in a piece on CNBC, Rubin shared some solid parenting lessons to help us raise happy kids.
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Rubin's lessons to parents include:
1. Avoid cheering your kids up every single time.
It's a slight shift in what parents feel compelled to do. Instead of saying things like "It's fine! Don't let it bother you!" or attempting to snap them out of the bad mood by pointing out the positive, try validating their feelings.
Something like, "I understand you are really upset. You're going through a hard thing." might go a long way in helping them through their challenging time and land on the other side in a healthier way.
2. Realize that acceptance is love.
Get better grades! You should study this! Why don't you do that? Sound familiar? This could be a parent's way of trying to impress their own wants onto our kids. We don't want to be annoying parents, we want to be accepting parents.
Accepting who our kids are, what they like, and how well they do in school is key to letting them feel loved for who they truly are.
3. Be kind to yourself.
If we as parents are cranky, kids are going to pick up on it. That creates a big cloud of unhappiness. We can find ways to be kinder to ourselves, finding our own paths to happiness, so we can be a better parent to our kids.
Kids will pick up on happy energy and it will shine in them as well.
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4. Cherish all the moments.
Parents know that sometimes the days feel long but then you blink and your kids have grown four inches, their voices deepened, and they're old enough to not need a babysitter anymore. When we cherish all the moments with our kids, we are building memories with them that will be imprinted on them as they grow into adults.
The secret ingredient is love.
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