I've worked in college admissions for decades. I always look for these 3 soft skills in every student's application.
Successful students have proven adaptability, intellectual vitality, and executive functioning.
These soft skills aren't easily listed on an application.
I've worked on Ivy League admissions committees and as a consultant, so I've reviewed thousands of applications. The strongest candidates almost always have three soft skills: adaptability, intellectual vitality, and executive functioning.
These traits are not always the most visible on paper, but they show up in the choices students make and the stories they tell. When I consider any college application, I look for these three traits to see how the students would adapt to college life and the real world later on.
In my book " Get Real and Get In," I focused on individuals who demonstrated these skills and got into their dream schools. Let's look at how past students exemplified these traits, even before their careers took off.
Adaptability: Turning a "no" into a "yes"
For my book, I spoke with Aaron Kirman, who is now one of the top real estate agents in the country.
He struggled with learning disabilities and a speech impediment throughout his school years. He was held back in first grade and often felt like an outsider academically and socially. He was rejected from every single school he applied to, including the University of Southern California.
But Kirman didn't give up. Fueled by what he described as "a mix of anger, disappointment, and desperation," he wrote a heartfelt letter to USC explaining his challenges and his determination to succeed. That letter made the difference. USC reconsidered and admitted him through a support program for students with learning differences.
As a former Ivy League admissions officer, I would have taken note of this kind of self-advocacy immediately. We looked for students who showed adaptability, resilience, and resourcefulness.
Of course, not every student will have the opportunity to transform rejection into acceptance. But the most compelling stories often emerge when students adapt to everyday challenges — maintaining focus during academic struggles, demonstrating meaningful growth over time, or navigating personal obstacles with grace and purpose.
Intellectual vitality: Asking the bigger questions
Raya Bidshahri, founder of multiple educational platforms, is known today as a futurist and science communicator. But her journey began with a deep, sustained curiosity about the world.
In her Dubai high school, Bidshahri demonstrated remarkable intellectual vitality through several initiatives, most notably, co-founding Intelligent Optimism with her mentor Rohan Roberts. This social network centered a rational, evidence-based, and positive outlook on human progress. The network expanded internationally, eventually growing to hundreds of thousands of followers.
This curiosity and initiative beyond the norm of expectation is what admissions officers call "intellectual vitality." That mindset is gold in admissions.
Bidshahri's entrepreneurial and education-driven projects played a major role in her admission to Boston University. Her application stood out because it reflected an authentic pursuit of knowledge and impact that extended far beyond the comforts of her own mind and community.
Executive functioning: Turning vision into impact
Katlyn Grasso began college thinking she would do both business and pre-med, but she quickly realized her true passion was entrepreneurship.
In high school, Grasso transformed her leadership roles into vehicles for real impact. She co-founded two nonprofits to earn her Girl Scouts Silver and Gold Awards, served as class president, and captained the softball team. What truly distinguished Katlyn wasn't the titles but the substance behind them. Her ability to organize thoughtfully, lead authentically, and follow through relentlessly set her apart.
Whether launching a community program or rallying her teammates during a tough game, she demonstrated a rare combination of strategic vision and execution skills. She lived her values and turned her commitments into meaningful action. In her applications, she was intentional about highlighting her core passions: leadership, business, and learning.
She then framed her activities through that lens, proving executive functioning. It helped her gain admission to Wharton.
As someone who's reviewed thousands of applications, I can say that executive functioning often gets overlooked. But it's a hidden driver of success.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Forbes
2 days ago
- Forbes
Back-To-School Season Is Go Time For Ivy League Hopefuls
Summer may be winding down, but for high-achieving high school students, the most strategic phase of college admissions is just beginning. Whether you're a rising sophomore plotting your long game or a senior gearing up to hit 'submit,' the start of the school year is a critical runway, and how you take off matters. While many families assume it's your grades or test scores that carry the most weight, Ivy League admissions officers are increasingly asking: What sets this student apart? What do they truly care about? And how have they used their free time to deepen their academic interests? Here's how students can treat the back-to-school season not as a return to routine, but as a launchpad for standing out. 1. Recalibrate Your Resume A new school year is the perfect time to take stock of your extracurricular activities. But here's the truth: it's not about how many clubs you join, it's about what you do within them. Admissions officers at top colleges aren't tallying your hours, they're scanning for leadership, consistency, and authentic love of learning. If you're tempted to add a new activity each semester, pause. Instead, ask yourself: As Heidi Steinmetz Lovette, Top Tier Admissions Senior Private Counselor and former Assistant Director of Admissions at Cornell University, explains: 'We sometimes used 'busy' as a quiet shorthand for students trying to do it all. It wasn't a compliment—it meant they had taken on too much without showing why any of it mattered, and were pursuing things to check off boxes rather than with real intention or interest.' Whether you're leading your robotics team or launching a community garden, showcasing initiative and follow-through will always beat a long but shallow list of extracurricular involvement. 2. Make Writing a Weekly Habit For seniors, the fall semester is crunch time to write your college essays, and the difference between a good application and a great one often comes down to how well you tell your story. This is the time for students of all ages to develop a writing practice that strengthens your voice and brings clarity to your ideas. That could mean: For younger students, building strong writing habits will serve you well in high school, college applications, and beyond. The earlier you start thinking critically about how your experiences connect, and challenging yourself to experiment with different genres, the more authentic and compelling your college essays will be. A great way to begin is to contribute to your school newspaper or literary magazine. 3. Think Like an Admissions Officer This fall, commit to becoming a more intentional, engaged observer of the world around you. Why? Because top colleges—especially Ivy League institutions—seek students who demonstrate curiosity, critical thinking, and the ability to engage respectfully with those who hold different perspectives. That means reading thoughtfully, asking questions, and being willing to challenge your own assumptions. One of Harvard University's supplemental essay questions asks: Describe a time when you strongly disagreed with someone about an idea or issue. How did you communicate or engage with this person? What did you learn from this experience? To prepare for questions like this, and to grow as a scholar and community member, try this weekly exercise: Read one article from a national newspaper (like The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal) and one from your local or school publication. Then, ask yourself: Whether you're interested in healthcare equity or sustainable design, top schools want students who connect their intellectual interests to real-world challenges and personal experiences. To build this habit, consider entering The New York Times Summer Reading Contest. It's a great way to practice engaging with current events with purpose. 4. Build a Roadmap to Your Zone of Genius The concept of the 'zone of genius,' coined by author Gay Hendricks, describes the unique space where your natural talents, passions, and sense of purpose intersect. It's the place where your work feels both deeply fulfilling and uniquely your own. For students, leaning into this zone can lead to meaningful projects that stand out far more than a checklist of activities. This fall, choose one project, pursuit, or question to explore in depth—something that aligns with your strengths and curiosity. For example: When you work from your zone of genius, the results feel authentic, and they can lead to the kind of accomplishments that resonate most with admissions officers. 5. Reframe College Prep as Self-Discovery Too often, students approach college admissions with a scarcity mindset: Am I doing enough? Will I get in? What if I fail? Instead, college applicants should think of these next few months as a rare opportunity to articulate who you are, what you care about, and how you hope to grow. The strongest applicants I've worked with aren't the ones who checked the same boxes, they're the ones who can connect their authentic interests and meaningful experiences with intention and depth. As the school year begins, set goals not only for grades and test scores, but for questions you want to ask, mentors you want to meet, and risks you're ready to take. Ivy League schools don't just admit students, they admit people. Be the kind of person who's building something meaningful, starting now.
Forbes
5 days ago
- Forbes
The Common App Is Open—Here's How To Craft An Ivy League-Worthy Essay
Student writing an essay getty The Common Application opened on August 1st, marking the official start of the 2025–26 admissions season. The Common App is the hub for students' applications—including their activities lists, letters of recommendation, and supplemental essays. One of the most consequential—and daunting—elements of the Common App is the personal statement. While a student's grades and test scores lay the foundation for their candidacy, what truly differentiates them is the story they tell about who they are on their application. This application narrative should be cohesively developed and presented throughout all of a student's application materials, and the personal statement offers a particularly crucial opportunity to convey that narrative in their own words. It therefore shapes and guides how admissions officers view other elements of their application. What are the Common App prompts? The Common App provides students with seven prompts to choose from as they write their essay. For the 2025–26 application cycle, students may select one of the following: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design Students who are intimidated by the challenge of selecting a topic or narrowing their ideas might find inspiration in the first six prompts, while the seventh prompt provides students with the open-ended opportunity to write about whatever they would like. This option ensures that students won't be pigeonholed in trying to answer any particular question and can allow their creativity to flourish. How can students make their personal essay stand out to Ivy League admissions officers? Daunted by the challenge of telling a compelling story in only 650 words, many students resort to cliches, write a half-baked essay, or outsource their writing to uninspired AI-generated prose. An Ivy-League worthy essay, on the other hand, requires forethought, strategy, and a clear understanding of the unique type of writing characteristic of a compelling personal statement. Here are three steps students should take to write an essay admissions officers won't forget: It is impossible to share your entire autobiography in 650 words—and you should not try. Admissions officers are not looking to read your entire life story. Instead, they want a snapshot of who you are—your values, core qualities, goals, personality, and unique voice—through an emblematic story or anecdote. Rather than telling a sweeping story or narrating years of your life, focusing on a particular moment, object, facet of your identity, or impactful experience will allow you to provide greater detail, a critical component of a standout essay. Narrowing in on a specific story that might seem mundane or unnoticeable to others can allow you to showcase your creativity and individual outlook. Keep in mind that admissions officers read thousands of essays every admissions cycle; differentiating your essay from others' will require you to articulate what specifically distinguishes you. Don't write that you're 'passionate about helping others.' Instead, illustrate for admissions officers the exact moment your passion began. Don't just claim you're 'curious about the world.' Draw your readers into a moment in which your curiosity led you to challenge yourself or change your mind. Don't write that you've 'overcome challenges.' Choose one defining hurdle you have overcome and articulate how it uniquely shaped you. While you don't have to respond directly to a Common App prompt in your response, answering a particular question may help you choose your essay topic if you find yourself struggling. With the ubiquity of AI language, students have to be all the more intentional about getting creative and avoiding cliche, ChatGPT terms and phrases. Even where students have not used AI, cliché language and other common AI constructions can lead admissions officers to doubt the authenticity of students' writing. While AI can be helpful in brainstorming, students should keep in mind that even the ideas an AI bot generates may be generic, overused, or shallow, and brainstorming should never end with AI. Instead of relying on artificial intelligence, students should embrace their creativity and strive to share their unique voice and perspective in their essays. If you're the class clown, don't be afraid to weave in your sense of humor. If you write poetry in your spare time, embrace rich, descriptive language (but don't whip out the thesaurus and select words you wouldn't normally use!). One of the best ways to determine whether your distinct voice is reflected in your essay is to enlist the editorial support of a friend or family member who knows you well. You might read the essay aloud to them or allow them to read it independently and then ask whether they would be able to identify you as the writer if they had read the essay blind. One of the most important qualities that admissions officers look for in the personal essay is self-awareness. Your essay should not cast you as the unproblematic hero of every story. Admissions officers know that you aren't perfect, nor do you know everything—instead, they want to see that you are aware of your own shortcomings, teachable and open-minded, and mature enough to identify your own blind spots and take action to learn and grow. As you choose a story and begin drafting, consider not only the skills you possess, but also the experiences that have caused you to rethink your perspectives, learn something new about yourself, identify a weakness, or overcome a struggle (whether internal or circumstantial). At the same time, keep in mind that your essay is a professional piece of writing. While some students fall into the trap of writing a hero narrative, others assume that they can garner sympathy from admissions officers by sharing tragic or highly personal stories. You should be honest and introspective, but avoid trauma dumping or overly intimate disclosures. In addition to the above, one of the most important steps students can take toward crafting an Ivy League-worthy personal statement is starting early . A great essay is not written on the first try. Developing a story, conveying your voice, and connecting your experiences to a deeper insight about who you will be on campus all require significant effort and will occur through the process of trial and error. The sooner a student starts refining their ideas, the more polished and compelling their essay will be.
CNET
6 days ago
- CNET
Air Fryer, Grill or Cast Iron: There's No Way to Mess Up this 75-Year Old BBQ Chicken Recipe
I use my air fryer and cast-iron skillet just as much as my grill during summer -- it all depends on my mood and sometimes the weather. That's why I love any recipe that transitions seemelessly from one to the other, and Cornell chicken, a simply barbecue chicken dish with a 75-year history is just that. You don't usually think "Ivy League" and "barbecue" in the same sentence, but one of the best grilled chicken recipes in the country was born at Cornell. Known as Cornell chicken, this old-school classic was developed by Robert Baker, a food science professor with a deep love for poultry and a serious understanding of flavor. His vinegar-based marinade is made with a few common pantry ingredients, but it turns out chicken that's anything but ordinary -- crisp on the outside, juicy and tangy on the inside. The beauty of Cornell chicken is its simplicity. No bottled sauces, no fancy tools -- just a time-tested formula that works whether you're grilling over charcoal, gas, or even using your oven's broiler. It's one of the earliest recorded barbecue chicken recipes in the U.S., and it's still a favorite in upstate New York for good reason. One bite and it's clear: this Ivy League bird has serious backyard cred. Whether you like to cook your summer bird in an air fryer, over a cast-iron skillet or directly on the grates of your gas or pellet smoker -- I made this recipe on all three and it worked each time -- this simple and straightforward marinade is easy to make in large batches and worth adding to your rotation. What's special about Cornell chicken? Baker is a Northeast barbecue legend. Baker wrote the proverbial book on barbecue chicken, according to many, after extensive recipe testing in the 1950s. He was unhappy with the bland state of American cuisine and created this recipe to help serve tasty food en masse at large cookouts. "Cornell chicken," as it's known, is beautifully simple and remains one of the most lauded chicken marinades and summer cookout recipes. You'll find Cornell chicken served at restaurants, particularly in upstate New York, where the university is located, family picnics, food fairs and festivals across the country. What's different about Cornell chicken? Cornell chicken uses one unusual element, a beaten egg, to add a creamy coating and let the chicken skin get crispy without burning. There's also poultry seasoning for depth of flavor and vinegar to add tang and help the marinade penetrate. If you're wondering how to make Cornell chicken, it's easy -- use just five ingredients and a similar cooking method to traditional barbecue chicken. This chicken marinade is vinegar-based so it's akin more to a Carolina style than the sweet Kansas City or St. Louis styles. Baker suggests using a charcoal grill to keep unwieldy flames from cooking the skin unevenly. The barbecue chicken recipe is about as simple as it gets. Baker's cooking technique is a little more meticulous. How to make perfect Cornell chicken Ingredients Bone-in chicken pieces 1/2 cup vegetable cooking oil 1 cup apple cider vinegar 1.5 teaspoons poultry seasoning 1 beaten egg Salt and pepper to taste Let the marinade do its thing for at least three hours. David Watsky/CNET Directions Step 1 : Beat the egg. Add oil and beat again. : Beat the egg. Add oil and beat again. Step 2 : Whisk together all the ingredients in a bowl. : Whisk together all the ingredients in a bowl. Step 3 : Add chicken pieces and toss to coat. Refrigerate for at least three hours and up to 24 hours. : Add chicken pieces and toss to coat. Refrigerate for at least three hours and up to 24 hours. Step 4 : Place coated chicken on a medium-high grill (Baker suggests charcoal) or hot cast-iron skillet and reserve any leftover marinade. : Place coated chicken on a medium-high grill (Baker suggests charcoal) or hot cast-iron skillet and reserve any leftover marinade. Step 5 : Cook for 15 to 20 minutes, flipping and basting the chicken with leftover sauce every five minutes. The basting should be light at first and grow heavier toward the end of cooking. : Cook for 15 to 20 minutes, flipping and basting the chicken with leftover sauce every five minutes. The basting should be light at first and grow heavier toward the end of cooking. Step 6: Cook until internal temperature reaches 160 degrees F. Baker recommends a charcoal grill but gas works fine, too. David Watsky/CNET Can you make Cornell chicken in an air fryer? Yes and I did. I put half of my batch in the air fryer and the other half over a hot flame the way Baker intended. Both methods worked well. The grill gave me a slightly more caramelized char while the air fryer was faster and there was less to clean up. Baker included instructions on how to build a fire pit but you can choose a charcoal or gas grill and get similar results. Can you use any chicken for Cornell chicken? Baker's original recipe calls for broilers (small whole chickens), but this recipe can be applied to any bone-in, skin-on chicken. You can use boneless, skinless chicken, but you won't get that coveted crispy skin that Baker's Cornell chicken recipe aces. As it turns out, some forum users have even experimented with using the Cornell chicken cooking recipe on wings -- to pretty immediate success. One person from the r/Wings subreddit shared their successful Cornell chicken wings, after using the same basic six-step process included in Baker's original recipe. If you don't feel like making this sauce, these are the best bottled barbecue sauces we've tried. Now Playing: Best Air Fryers: Cheap vs. Expensive 19:24 Cornell chicken FAQs What is the most important ingredient for Cornell chicken? Aside from the obvious -- the bone-in chicken -- the apple cider vinegar is perhaps the most important part of the Cornell chicken marinade. It adds a unique "tang" and a depth of flavor that defines Baker's BBQ recipe. Adding the egg also allows the skin to crisp over, adding a great texture to bite into.
