With ‘Matriarch,' Tina Knowles finally takes center stage
Among pop culture aficionados, few surnames have the cachet of Knowles. The family exploded into popular awareness when Beyoncé found fame as lead singer of the futuristic R&B girl group Destiny's Child then reached superstar status as a solo artist, becoming one of our era's most important cultural figures. Meanwhile, her younger sister, Solange, gained critical acclaim as a singer-songwriter with the release of her 2016 album, 'A Seat at the Table.' Their talents were honed by their forward-thinking manager and father, Mathew, who taught them the ins and outs of the music business, and their mother, Tina, who nurtured her daughters but also their fanbases.
Despite being household names, one of the defining qualities of the family is their tight-lipped control of their story. Beyoncé and Solange rarely speak to the press and, much like the royal family, avoid commenting on negative stories. In 2011, when media reports began questioning whether Beyoncé was really pregnant with her first child with husband Jay-Z, the response from Knowles HQ was a firm 'no comment.' At the time, Beyoncé told her mother, 'Mama, you cannot address these ignorant people.' And yet, Ms Tina, as she's affectionately known by fans, is ready to address everyone. Her new memoir, 'Matriarch,' gives readers a peek behind the curtain at the successes and tragedies that shaped the famous family.
Tina Knowles was born Celestine Ann Beyoncé in the tight-knit, coastal community of Galveston, Texas, in 1954, to a seamstress mother and longshoreman father. Affectionately known as Badass Tenie B in her youth for her propensity to find trouble wherever she went, Knowles paints a detailed portrayal of her early childhood as the youngest of seven children. Readers can envision the sturdy pecan tree that stood tall in the family's backyard, the dizzying rush of the crowds at the beach amusement park and the pounding patter of her padded feet as she ran across the floor in all-in-one pajamas. Knowles's descriptions of her youth, even her youngest years, are told in rich color with flourishes so detailed they may have come from stories shared by her older siblings and elders, possibly even from sessions spent rifling through local archives. Whatever the case, they conjure a fully realized world the reader can inhabit.
As a fan of the Knowles family music empire, I was not expecting to uncover information I did not already know, but Knowles proved wrong. She delves deeper into her own backstory than ever before, and she gives an honest (although probably one-sided if we asked her ex-husband) account of the problems in her marriage, including Mathew's many affairs. As forthcoming as she can be, there are also portions of history that have been conspicuously excised, namely the exit of the early Destiny's Child members; perhaps this is too contentious a topic to bring up, even now.
It is clear from the title of her memoir that Knowles is keen to examine the female lineage, what it means to be a mother and how to find your identity as a woman both within and beyond those definitions. Across her life, we see Tina form a girl group (the Veltones), move to Los Angeles, marry and start a family, launch several thriving businesses (including her famous Houston hair salon Headliners), and divorce twice. While her business acumen and drive are clear themes throughout the book, so is her propensity to be a surrogate maternal figure to friends, family and young mentees.
There is a way to see this as purely positive, an example of her open-minded philosophy on motherhood. 'Family isn't just about blood,' she writes. 'It's who you show up for.' But there was another side to her need to boost others up and live vicariously through them while she played down her own achievements. She recounts that, later in life and with the help of a therapist, she finally came to terms with her rocky relationship with her own mother, who taught her to 'dumb yourself down a little bit, hide your light so people won't be offended.' It is only later that Knowles learns that shame is not the same thing as humility.
She continues to rediscover herself, even in the face of a breast cancer diagnosis that she reveals late in the book. As her daughters accompanied her to a surgical appointment, she recalls, Solange lightened the mood by sharing the 'very demure, very mindful' viral meme of TikTok influencer Jools Lebron. 'I entered the surgical room laughing, thanks to them,' Knowles writes. It's a poignant moment of a lifelong caretaker being lovingly tended to, and an example that no identity is fixed. Although it took her until she was 71 years old, with 'Matriarch,' Knowles finally becomes the star of her own story.
Stephanie Phillips is a music journalist and the author of 'Why Solange Matters.'
A Memoir
By Tina Knowles
One World. 432 pp. $35
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As mother to Beyoncé, Solange - and as she notes in her book honorary daughters Kelly Rowland and Angie Beyince - Tina Knowles is surely unrivalled as a world-famous matriarch. These days, with social networks and parasocial relationships at their peak, it's more common than not for the family (and even social circles) surrounding a star to have a fame of their own. But in the late 90s, when Destiny's Child first broke onto the scene, that just wasn't the case. Still, even at that time, Ms Tina was known to fans, and her importance felt. Guiding the band, styling them, Ms Tina was always intricately entwined with her daughter's success. But while many may think they know her story, her New York Times best-selling book, Matriarch, is here to prove them wrong. Tracing her life from childhood, through her life as a young mother and entrepreneurial businesswoman, Ms Tina has her own fascinating story before her daughters' fame even begins. And sure, once that journey into mega-stardom does begin, the insight in the book is fascinating - but what comes across is the importance of Knowles' position as a mother and how the female experience - and the women around her - has always been integral. As she visited London this week, ELLE UK had the chance to sit down with Ms Tina to discuss her book - and incredible life. Why did you decide to write Matriarch? I started recording my story just for my grandchildren and my great grandchildren, because I wanted to leave that history for them. I wanted it to come straight from my mouth. And so I had a lot of recordings, and when they approached me a couple years ago about doing the book, it didn't start off as a memoir, but as I got into the story of it, it turned into that. So I was able to go back and pull all of those recordings and and use what I had already written. That the book actually had another ending, and then I got the breast cancer diagnosis, so I stopped. I didn't turn it in, and I went back and included that. I kind of struggled with it, because I didn't know if I wanted to put that out into the world, but because I missed a mammogram, and I felt like the breast cancer was stage one, but it could have been stage zero, if I would have gone on time. And so that was really important to put that out into the world, so that people would take care of themselves. That has been the best part of doing this book, because I have had so many people say 'I went and got my breast exam', 'I took my mom to get her breast exam,' and that warms my heart. Was it important to you to make sure you wrote down your younger life and what America was like then? Absolutely, for all the kids that are told that you don't belong. My biggest message was that you belong anywhere you choose to be, and I had to fight for that when I was a kid. And a lot of kids have to fight for that because they're told or shown that they don't belong. And so for me, that was a big, big deal. What was the biggest misconception about your family that you wanted to clear up with the book? Well, I think that people, when they don't know you, they speculate, and they come up with a lot of stories. And, you know, I've heard a lot of things about, 'Oh, well, you don't have to worry about money'. I have lived it all, and it was really important for people to relate to the fact that I grew up poor, I grew up Black, I grew up in the south with a lot of racism, and I had a lot of challenges and obstacles in my life. But still, I'm here today because I've fought through all of those things, and you can come out of all these things in your life - you're not going to get stuck there. And it it's a lot to do with your determination, your willing to sacrifice for what you want. And I think that it was good for people to see a success story of somebody who came from such a meagre background. For you, is being a matriarch about strength? Yes, it means being a leader. My niece talks at the beginning of the audio book about how in every family, there's that number that you call when it's really bad stuff or something that you need to work through, or it's something very good. So I'm that number, and my mom was that number, even though, you know, she did [it] in a completely different way. I always thought she was passive, but behind the scenes, she was working her magic. And so you're that person that everybody calls, yeah, you're it, absolutely. You and your daughters have become feminist icons, why is the female experience so key to you? I think because I come from a long line of strong women. You know, my great-grandmothers, on both sides, were both enslaved, but they managed to keep their families together at a time when I don't know how they did it. Like you can imagine the things that they had to go through to keep their kids with them. And that's what I'm from. That's the stock I'm from - really strong women who do what they have to do to keep their families together and that their families are first priority. My family is everything to me and if I lost everything I have today and I had my family, I know I would be fine. I would survive. Your daughter Beyoncé will also be in London soon - can we expect to see you on stage? On stage? No, not on stage. That was one time, because she wanted to honour me because of the book. You speak so much about your love for your grandchildren - now they are also known by so many people, how do you protect them and keep their lives normal? You know, their mother keeps their lives normal. And they are just normal kids. They love the stage - they've grown up around it. And, you know, Rumi, for the last tour, just every day, said, 'I want to go out there. I want to'. She wanted to experience it too. And so Beyoncé is allowing her to do it this time. And I'm really happy about it, because she has fun out there. She gets to be a kid, and when she gets off stage, she's right back to being Rumi, the little kid, you know, the little seven-year-old, adorable. You were on Meghan Markle's podcast this week, what made you decide to go on there? Was it the business focus? Oh, well, I love Meghan, and what she's doing and what she's done with her life, and so it was a joy to go on that podcast. Yeah, she's wonderful. Yeah. I mean, that was her [decision to talk about business], she could pick any topic, and that's the topic she chose, which I really was happy about, because a lot of times people aren't interested in that part of the book. So that was nice. What's your advice for matriarchs trying to juggle it all? I just think you have to have the balance, and you know, that's not an easy task. You give equal time to your work and your family, and then you somehow squeeze in a massage here, there and take care of yourself. It's a really difficult thing doing that, and sometimes I've done a lot better than others. I'm often all in where I'm just running around trying to take care of everybody, but I do know when it's enough, and I'm going to say, 'Okay, well, I need a vacation', or I need to go and have some me time. And that's not an easy thing. In the book, your daughters urge you not to go on social media, but I love that you defend your family on those platforms - what made you take that decision? Someone actually put me on Instagram, and I did a photo, and then I think maybe the third post that I had was something that was a cause. And I was like, 'Wow, look at how many people saw this cause and that they're talking about it.' And so I realised that it was a really powerful platform. I'm always posting other people and uplifting them, and that's my favorite part about it. And then when I need to get the word out, when enough is enough with the gossip and the crazy and the rumors, I get to vent. I mean, that's therapy. Free therapy. Meghan, like your daughters, has been subject to so much online abuse. Do you think Black women especially are targeted? I don't think that it's just Black women, it's everybody who is in the public eye. I had someone [ask me something] in an interview and I said, 'Why would you ask me something terrible like that? Like that's not even in a book'. And the person replied by saying, 'You are a public figure, so I could ask you anything, and you should be okay with it.' And I just think that that is so insensitive and so inhumane. You don't get to treat people any kind of way because they happen to be a celebrity, but I think that goes across the board with every race. And for women it does seem to be a whole different standard… It's amazing to me, that it is 2025 and people are still making such a huge difference [between men and women]. And men get away with murder, and we get away with nothing. We're just criticised and torn apart. You and your daughters are known for your style - why is it so important to you? We grew up so poor, but we were always the sharpest people in the room. Yvette, my publicist, said 'Fashion saved your life'. And I thought about that, and it's true, it saved my life, because it has always been such a part of it. My mom was a seamstress, and we always had this beautiful clothing, and when you looked good, you felt good. She found something that she could do with the little bit of money she had, that made us feel powerful in some ways. So I think it's a lot of power in looking your best and and fashion. It's been a recurring theme in my life that has been so, so positive. So I love fashion, and I love other people feeling beautiful too. And now with Cécred, you and Beyoncé have continued that journey with haircare too. Hair is a very, very important part of you - as my mom would always say, that's your crowning glory. So that's kind of like your crown. And to take care of it, to make it beautiful, to make it healthy, is something that, again, is sort of like fashion. If your hair looks great, you just feel differently, you move differently in the world. And I love the science of hair, I always have. When I had a hair salon, I mixed all my own conditioners and hot oil treatments and those things, because it's all self care, and it makes you feel worthy. And when you go into a salon and you're there with other women, it's camaraderie too. There's power in that and the sisterhood that goes on. It doesn't matter whether it's a Black salon, a white salon, or whatever it is, it's a coming together of women, and it's a place where you can be vulnerable and get that support and networking. So I just love the whole salon experience. You revealed your breast cancer diagnosis in the book - how has it changed your outlook? When you're told that you have cancer, it doesn't matter what stage it is, it's just that word that everybody dreads, and it makes you really look at your life. I said earlier that I feel freer than ever. I feel like it's so not important to me what people think of me, and I just put less limitations on my life than I did before, because I had a bucket list. I went out and did those things. It becomes more important to live your life and to live it freely, without judgment, so I just care much less about what people think of me. Motherhood can be tough - what would you say to any mother who is struggling today? I would say, for me, the best gift that I've ever had is to be a mother and to be able to help shape a life. There's nothing more important than that, and it's such a gift. I've had the same issues that every mother has with trying to balance [things]. And sometimes when kids don't understand what you're giving up, what you're sacrificing, and you kind of feel like, 'God, nobody appreciates me' - I've had those feelings like every other mother. But what outweighs it is when my when my kids say, 'You've done a good job', and when I see them with their kids and that they are really great mothers. It's the best feeling in the world. Matriarch by Tina Knowles, is out now and available to order ELLE Collective is a new community of fashion, beauty and culture lovers. For access to exclusive content, events, inspiring advice from our Editors and industry experts, as well the opportunity to meet designers, thought-leaders and stylists, become a member today HERE.
