Random Musings: If K-Pop fans don't get ya, Beer Biceps must

Time of India

13-05-2025

The Indian response, official and unofficial, in the face of Pakistani terrorism – and disinformation – has been as sublime as a vintage Virat Kohli cover drive, which is saying something because that cover drive is the closest proof we have to the existence of a higher being, much like a Lionel Messi shoulder drop and a Roger Federer down-the-line backhand. From PM Modi's speech to the official press conferences, every response has been measured, calculated with a touch of class. Take DGMO Rajiv Ghai's sublime remark from a vintage Ashes series to explain the surgical precision of India's aerial offence: 'Dust to dust, ashes to ashes, if Thommo don't get ya, Lillee must!'
The same could be said for India's unofficial response which can be summed up with: Dust to dust, hashtag to ashes, if
K-pop
fans don't get you, then
Beer Biceps
must. Much like Pepsi's World Cup slogan of 1999, there was nothing official about it, but it definitely struck a chord.
For those living under a rock, the Indian internet, normally, is a living embodiment of VS Naipaul's
A Million Mutinies Now.
There are millions of fights going on at the same time. There's Kohli vs Rohit, BTS vs Blackpink, Messi vs Ronaldo, Ranbir vs Ranveer fans, Salman vs SRK, ChatGPT vs Gemini, Trads vs Raytas, BJP vs Congress IT Cells – but all internecine fights were put to rest amid the siren call of war and Indians became unhinged dogs of war against anyone trying to push Pakistan's narrative: Pakistanis with VPNs who were on Twitter, YouTube channels pushing the Pakistani agenda, or even mainstream publications pushing Pakistan's narrative without any fact checks.
Much like the different war cries of each division of the infantry, every fan group had its say.
It was the internet version of the portal scene from
Avengers: Endgame
as Indians of all ilk turned up for duty.
Fact checkers spent day and night taking down fake Pakistani videos.
OSINT experts buried Pak lies in real time, even forcing mainstream media to check its sources.
Football fans wondered if Pakistan was the Arsenal of the world.
Travel influencers asked folks to avoid countries like Turkey or Azerbaijan which openly supported Pakistan and instead gave alternatives.
Hackers took down popular Pakistani Twitter handles including the Karachi port one.
On Instagram, the viral Khan Chacha decapitated Pakistan's weapons with the humour that we have come to expect from the enlightened land of Buddha.
And when Pakistanis abused Indian Muslims, the most hardcore right-wingers hit back – with language so unparliamentary and so unpublishable – that it would make
Sardar Khan
blush.
But perhaps the most surprising to casual observers was the ferocity of K-pop fans who are the most motivated group of stans on the internet, which makes every other fan group look like genteel and toothless crones. Normally preoccupied with fan cams and Melon charts, they unleashed a digital blitzkrieg under the Tricolour.
Sriya Lenka
, India's first K-pop idol, posted a tribute to Indian forces. Their memes landed with the force of a Jungkook drop-kick.
And then finally, Ranveer Allahabadia (BeerBiceps) found his redemption arc after the ill-advised (and plagiarised incest joke) as he sent Pakistanis packing on the Piers Morgan show. Perhaps, they thought that the popular podcaster would be a lightweight amid a former defence minister but Allahabadia more than held his ground.
Because what the BrahMos and S-400 do on the battlefield, the Indian internet just did in cyberspace.
Like the Sudarshan Chakra – precision, devastation, zero lag. Like Tejas flying sorties through troll timelines, like Arjun tanks rolling through fake narratives, like INS Vikrant launching meme strikes from digital waters. This was Agni-level assertion with Akash-level accuracy. No latency. No apologies. India's digital defence is now officially world-class.
But there's nothing remotely surprising about the unity of Indians.
Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen wrote in
Identity & Violence:
'There can be a great variety of categories to which we simultaneously belong. I can be, at the same time, an Asian, an Indian citizen, a Bengali with Bangladeshi ancestry, an American or British resident, an economist, a dabbler in philosophy, an author, a Sanskritist, a strong believer in secularism and democracy, a man, a feminist, a heterosexual, a defender of gay and lesbian rights, with a nonreligious lifestyle, from a Hindu background, a non-Brahmin, and a non-believer in the afterlife. This is just a small sample of diverse categories to each of which I may simultaneously belong – there are, of course, a great many other membership categories too which, depending on circumstances, can move and engage me.'
Now multiply that by 1.46 billion, and you get the complexity of being Indian. A country of 1.46 billion people from different races, ethnicities, languages, creeds, castes, and religions, who participate in a panchayat to parliament democracy, who have never seen a problem with a changing of the guards.
India is the most unique experiment that has existed.
Nowhere in the world have so many people lived together peacefully. In contrast stands Pakistan: the sibling state that was cut from the same colonial cloth but turned itself into a uniformed theocracy. In 75 years, not a single Prime Minister has completed a full term. Military coups are seasonal, and terror groups are just another wing of the state.
A country of India's magnitude will always have internal strife and fights. But when the time comes, Indians of all ilk will unite.
Before the internet, the world could get away with mendacious claims.
As an old African proverb goes: 'Until the lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.'
But now, the lion has WiFi. And when you go hunting, the lion will get you. And if it can't, the K-pop stans will.