Kid Cudi says Cassie was Diddy's 'prisoner', recalls a 'salty' Kanye in new book

USA Today

3 days ago

Kid Cudi may be the "Man on the Moon," but he's revealing the peaks and valleys of his life on Earth to fans in a new book.
The rapper, actor and fashion designer born Scott Mescudi opens up about his early career, substance abuse struggles and redemption in "Cudi: The Memoir" (out now, Simon & Schuster), a raw look at an artist known for moody introspection and vulnerability.
In "Cudi," Mescudi delves into his Cleveland upbringing and bopping around New York City in his early career during the blog-era rap scene. The book also features stories about his famous friends in music, film and fashion, including his bond with late Louis Vuitton director Virgil Abloh, falling outs with Shia LaBeouf and Drake, and a turbulent period with Casandra "Cassie" Ventura Fine and Sean "Diddy" Combs.
For fans of his music, the memoir includes the inception of some of his biggest songs and projects, including breakout hits "Day 'N' Nite" and "Pursuit of Happiness" and collaborations with Kanye "Ye" West. For admirers of his acting and style, he details his introduction into Hollywood with projects like HBO's "How to Make It In America" and Members of the Rage, his brand that debuted at Paris Fashion Week in 2023.
But more than anything, Mescudi's memoir details the darkness that followed him as he became a household name, and how he pulled himself out of depression and addiction, and grew to recognize and appreciate his influence in music as an advocate for mental health.
Kid Cudi overdosed during the making of 'Man on the Moon II'
Mescudi explores his inner sorrow, which started from a young age following the death of his father.
The rapper attempted suicide as a teen, after his first love coldly broke up with him. He recalled swallowing about 12 Tylenol pills and calling his friends, who called the police. He was taken to a hospital and had his stomach pumped, and was moved to the psychiatric wing for several days.
Mescudi craved fame and recognition from a young age, but was disappointed when he got it to realize all of his issues were not solved. "There was a lot of anger inside me that came from the Kid Cudi experience not aligning with the vision in my mind," he writes. "I always imagined success as a magic bullet for all my problems."
He details the highs and lows of various romantic relationships and drug use as a crutch or to fill a void, but to no relief. He writes he started using cocaine around 2009, after the creation of his debut album "Man on the Moon: The End of Day." By his second album, 2010's "Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager," he was doing multiple lines of cocaine while recording. He says the habit pushed him creatively and numbed the stress that came with overnight fame, but affected his relationships.
Following a 2010 arrest, Mescudi quit cocaine use for several years. He went through a two-week relapse in 2016, describing it as a faster means of "relief" and "solace" from the loneliness of fame. The "unsustainable" highs were followed by suicidal ideation, dangerous behavior and a mini-stroke. He would self-enter rehab for cocaine, marijuana and alcohol, saying the experience strengthened his relationship with God and provided "a level of peace ... I hadn't felt ever in my life."
Mescudi began smoking again months later, but has been cocaine-free since.
Kid Cudi recalls Kanye collaborations, antics at Virgil Abloh's funeral
Mescudi recalls meeting Kanye "Ye" West by chance at the Virgin Megastore in New York City's Union Square. He said run-ins with the rapper and his team eventually led to a creative partnership and the Cleveland native being signed to West's G.O.O.D. Music.
Some of their most noteworthy collaborations on West's "808s & Heartbreak" and Jay-Z's "Blueprint 3" track "Already Home" came from a weekslong stint in Hawaii, with Mescudi recalling writing the hook for the latter track in 10 minutes.
Mescudi called their relationship at the time "polar synchronicity," though he long made it a point to differentiate himself from the "Power" rapper, not wanting to be labeled a "sidekick."
For their collaborative 2017 album "Kids See Ghosts," he felt they were on the same page as they were both coming out of dark times and wanted an "uplifting" album, since Mescudi was post-rehab and Ye was going through a public mental health situation. Mescudi recalls this moment as a "test" to see if it would bring people back to his music since he was standing next to West, while maintaining his discography stands on its own.
By 2021, their relationship soured, though Mescudi doesn't mention the exact moment it fell apart. When Off-White founder Virgil Abloh died in 2021, Mescudi recalls Ye holding up the funeral to sign autographs. Ye had also fallen out with Abloh, and when he tried to speak during the service, the pastor refused, leaving the rapper "salty" and complaining about it in public rants for years.
Kid Cudi gives new details on Cassie and Diddy
In May, Mescudi testified in the sex-crimes trial of Sean "Diddy" Combs, recalling the turbulent time in 2011 and 2012 when his relationship with Cassie was followed by a break-in and damage to his car. The rapper calls the situation the "wildest" thing.
Mescudi provides new details in the memoir, including when Combs discovered he was in a relationship with Cassie and they fled to Connecticut with Mescudi stationing security outside Cassie's family home while he stayed with her.
Following a 2012 explosion in which Mescudi's Porsche was set on fire, he made a police report and followed up, but says it "disappeared" and officers "didn't return my calls." And when the rapper met up with the Bad Boy Records founder, he felt like he "won" after Combs denied involvement. "Man, you can't even be a G and just say, 'Yeah, I did that. Do something.' I would have respected that."
Mescudi and Cassie's relationship came at a time when he was still madly in love with an ex-girlfriend, he says, noting a long-term relationship "never felt possible." Still, he was "pissed at Cassie for going back to" Combs.
"But over time I realized she was a prisoner," he writes. "I just prayed one day she would be free."
Kid Cudi takes the stand in Diddy trial: What he revealed, from car explosion to his dog
Mescudi on meeting now-wife Lola Abecassis Sartore
Mescudi details the ins and outs of various tumultuous relationships, but none seem to bring him the sense of ease and peace that his wife Lola Abecassis Sartore does. He recalls first seeing her at Abloh's Louis Vuitton fashion show in 2017, where he walked right up to the menswear designer and asked for her number, without even knowing her name. Their relationship started out as a friendship until he began to seriously court her in 2022. He proposed in Kyoto, Japan, that year with a custom 11-carat diamond platinum ring. The couple married earlier this year.
Abecassis Sartore came at a time when he was "not needing a relationship as a crutch, but more as a bonus in my life.
"The only piece that I was missing was a companion. She was not only the perfect companion, but she was peace in my life that I just hadn't felt with a woman before," he writes. "I love every little quirk about her. She inspires me; she lifts me; she supports me in every single endeavor I have … She's a master in her craft, so it's like I found my equal in creativity too."
Kid Cudi ties the knot with Lola Abecassis Sartore during wedding in South of France
Kid Cudi on his influence: 'My music will always help people'
Known for his gloomy, cross-genre hits, Mescudi's pioneering legacy as one of the most vulnerable artists in hip-hop has been solidified.
One of his biggest tracks, "Pursuit of Happiness," was initially meant as a warning against finding satisfaction in drugs and alcohol, but he later embraced the joy it brought people. He approached later projects like "Speedin' Bullet 2 Heaven" and "Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin'" with the same desire to be a guide to younger fans.
"Kids needed to hear someone authentically and openly dealing with their most toxic baggage," he writes.
Reflecting on his impact after nearly two decades in music, Mescudi says his music "opened the door for generations of nonconforming artists .... I was touching people, and my music will always help people to the end of time."
Reflecting on his 40th birthday, a "milestone that felt so very far out of reach," Mescudi considers his impact.
"It wasn't the fame that brought me to my nirvana; it was all the wonderful, sincere people who my music led into my life," he said. "And all my time searching for life in outer space, I never thought I'd find peace and love on Earth."
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental and/or substance use disorders, you can call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's free and confidential treatment referral and information service at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). It's available 24/7 in English and Spanish (TTY: 1-800-487-4889).
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call 988 any time day or night, or chat online. Crisis Text Line also provides free, 24/7, confidential support via text message to people in crisis when they dial 741741.