Orlando Bloom ‘turning into world's worst ex' as he celebrates single life after Katy Perry split
All that's left us wondering: has Orlando, 48, assumed his greatest role yet … as the worst ex ever?
Because as far as he's concerned, his single era's in full Bloom. And he is making sure the world knows about it.
Whether it's air-kissing the Kardashians and co at the Bezos-Sanchez wedding, or partying with nepo babies half his age at Oasis's concert in Manchester, the former heart-throb has been keeping himself busy.
Meanwhile, his very recent ex has been grafting hard on her world tour, Lifetimes, and plastering on a smile following the end of their nine-year relationship.
His jam-packed social diary includes cringe-inducing selfies and videos, and a bleary-eyed appearance at Wimbledon the morning after the night before at Oasis.
Rewinding two months, the actor was there to greet Katy, with their four-year-old daughter, Daisy Dove, in tow, following her all-female, 11-minute space flight with Blue Origin in April.
But behind the scenes, reports spread that the couple's out-of-this-world love had come crashing down to earth, amid rumours that Orlando wasn't happy with Katy's very attention-seeking spectacle.
One month later, their engagement was reportedly over, and they were duly pictured on opposite sides of the world.
For his part, Orlando rocked up solo to Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez's £20m wedding in Venice, while Katy - who's actually the one who's close to the billionaire pair - honoured her tour commitments in Australia.
They had yet to confirm the split, but the writing was on the wall, as Orlando got busy 'partying and cosying up' to Sydney Sweeney, among the many A-listers in attendance, and hugging a 'mystery woman' - who later turned out to be Katy's stylist, Jamie Mizrahi.
And the cringey behaviour didn't stop there, as Orlando - the man who didn't like Katy's public spectacle - decided to run a lap of Venice in the shortest shorts possible.
Needless to say, short-shrift was given to any alleged hopes he had of going incognito.
Days later, the former couple announced in a statement that 'Orlando and Katy have been shifting their relationship over the past many months to focus on co-parenting.
'They will continue to be seen together as a family, as their shared priority is - and always will be - raising their daughter with love, stability and mutual respect.'
Days later, they stayed true to their word - with Orlando sharing photos from a family holiday in Italy with Katy, Daisy Dove, and Orlando's son Flynn, 14, whom he shares with ex-wife Miranda Kerr.
But after bidding the family arrivederci, the actor was off to the races - seemingly loving every minute of his newfound single life.
Over the weekend, he posted a video from Oasis's concert at Heaton Park, where he hobnobbed in the VIP section with the band's kids, including Liam Gallagher's sons Lennon, 25, and Gene, 24.
Singing blissfully into his phone, the actor sparked a mixed reaction. Some loved his unbridled love for the band; others found it just a wee bit cringeworthy.
One commenter wrote: 'Midlife crisis on full display,' while another weighed in: 'Grow up.'
A third added: 'Hasn't done anything since Lord of the Rings.
'Such a boring non-entity.'
Not one to be deterred, the father of two partied into the night, before donning his fineries the following day to attend the Wimbledon Men's Final.
Dressed in a Ralph Lauren suit - with sunglasses to supposedly disguise the inevitable hangover - the actor watched Jannik Sinner beat Carlos Alcaraz to take the top title.
Taking to Instagram, he later wrote: 'What a game!!!
'There is something so reassuringly British and life affirming about Wimbledon.'
Once again, his exploits sparked a mixed reaction.
One follower joked, 'You're everywhere,' while another added, 'He's having quite the freeloading summer.'
Meanwhile, in contrast to his very social life, Orlando's acting career hasn't quite sparked the same global attention.
His most recent film, Deep Cover - in which he stars as an improv actor turned undercover agent - was released on Amazon Prime last month.
So far, it's garnered positive reviews, but it's had half the impact of Orlando's social calendar.
What's more, he may have been Hollywood hot property in the noughties - with roles in massive franchises like Lord of The Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean - but he's hardly made a splash since.
He's worked relatively consistently, but his personal life has always eclipsed his professional output.
Very public relationships with actress Kate Bosworth and first wife Miranda Kerr have increased his reputation as a celebrity romancer.
That was then cemented when he got together with singer Katy in 2016 - before proposing in 2020.
They'd initially planned to get married in Japan later that year, but the COVID-19 pandemic scuppered those chances.
Then, after the initial postponement, they said their busy schedules kept getting in the way.
Sources have since said: 'They never set a date for the wedding or got around to planning anything, and Orlando is 'over it.''
Meanwhile, despite Orlando's love for things 'reassuringly British' he's slowly but surely become a parody of an LA cliche.
In 2021, he went viral for all the wrong reasons, after taking part in the Sunday Times' Day in the Life series.
On an average day, he said, he woke up at 6.30am and spent time 'connecting' with his then baby daughter.
He said: 'I'll do eye-gazing with her and sing songs.'
Then, his day got progressively madder, as he explained: 'I like to earn my breakfast so I'll just have some green powders that I mix with brain octane oil, a collagen powder for my hair and nails, and some protein.
'It's all quite LA, really.'
As well as chanting 'for 20 minutes every day, religiously', he also went hiking and built Lego.
Capping off the universally-mocked feature, he explained why he was 90 percent vegan, opining: 'I sometimes look at a cow and think, that's the most beautiful thing ever' … despite the fact that, 10 percent of the time, he ate red meat.
Orlando was duly mocked to oblivion for his 'normal routine' - and his reputation hasn't quite survived the wreckage.
Now, as he continues to make hay while the sun shines on his very single summer, we're all wondering: are we watching him play his biggest role to date, as the world's worst - and certainly most embarrassing - ex?
Sadly for Katy, Orlando may have hung up his pirate costume decades ago … but it looks like he's more determined than ever to sail the seas.
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