Footy star Lewis Brown relives the shattering moment he found out his dad had taken his own life - then learned his grandfather and great grandfather had died the same way

Daily Mail​

a day ago

Former NRL star Lewis Brown has opened up about the heartbreaking discovery of his father's suicide - and the later gut-wrenching news that his grandfather and great grandfather had died the same way.
The 38-year-old, who played 198 NRL games and 15 Tests for New Zealand, has spoken about a phone call he received in 2016 to inform him that his dad had passed away.
'I was unfortunate enough to get a phone call, hopped off the field, by my older sister, my only sibling, and it was a phone call that changed my life ... what I valued, and also what life was,' Brown told News Corp.
'That phone call was that he'd taken his own life. I remember being at Liverpool in the hotel bar with Shaun Johnson and his partner, just being very confused about what it meant.
'I'd never really come across the topic of suicide, obviously I'd heard of it but at that time it wasn't talked about either.'
Brown, who didn't see much of his father growing up, flew home to Christchurch to be with his mum.
While at the funeral, the footballer learned some other shocking news.
'That week, sort of leading up to the funeral was a bit of an odd one,' he said.
'I got to the funeral and walked in and I have a half brother who I hadn't seen since I was four.
'Then as the day went on, I found out my dad, my grandfather and great-grandfather had all taken their own lives.
'And the only thing that we share in common was the same middle name and that's Earl.'
'And the only thing that we share in common was the same middle name and that's Earl.'
Brown went on to explain that he never really acknowledged his father while growing up and would call him by his first name instead of 'dad'.
'We'd lost connection for nearly 10 years and during that day, the funeral, people would come up to me and say, "Your dad was so proud of you",' he said.
Brown (pictured playing for Manly) said he ran from his middle name 'for 31 years' until he turned a corner and used it as a positive in his life
'Say, "He was always at the pub watching you on a Saturday, Sunday". The thing is he didn't want to be a burden on me; like most males, he didn't want to be a burden.
'Just because he'd seen me on TV, he thought I'd gone off and was living my dream. He just didn't want to be a burden or reach out and no one told me he was dealing with depression.
'I never even knew the history of my grandfather either ... I was just off living my dream and never had any contact from that side.'
Shortly after Brown retired in 2019, he decided to start a luxury clothing line called 'Earls Collection'.
In six years, Brown's business has thrived and his clothing has been worn by NFL, NBA and NRL stars.
'One day I was up in Paddington ... I remember driving up Oxford Street and I stopped on the side of the road and I was like, "I'm going to call it Earls Collection", he said.
'I've run away from this name for so long, this is the reason why I retired, this is a new chapter in my life.
'I ran from the name for 31 years, let's just give it a go.'