Happy meals: is eating together the secret to happiness?
'I used to do a quick scan around the tables and think, 'Oh God, I hope I don't sit next to a dud',' she says sheepishly. 'And then, you're like … maybe I'm the dud! Now, I really like how this crosses over into general life. You may have had a chat with 80-year-old Margaret, then you see her down the street and you may give a little wave and have a little chat.'
Freston, a community access worker who lives with her teenage son, had been missing the communal eating she'd experienced when travelling overseas, such as in Ghana where she stayed with local families. 'It was beautiful, this simple act of fostering closeness with people,' she says. 'I thought, why don't I do that here? But I guess lifestyles and schedules get in the way.'
Sharing meals is the one of the best things we can do for our wellbeing, according to a report released last month. The World Happiness report 2025, based on a Gallup poll of more than 150,000 people from 142 countries and territories, found that people who dine alone have the lowest life evaluation rating globally compared with those who regularly share a meal, who are happier.
The benefits don't just come from breaking bread with the townsfolk: the World Happiness report focuses on eating with people we know, which may mean friends, family or housemates. According to the report, sharing meals 'has a strong impact on subjective wellbeing – on par with the influence of income and unemployment. Those who share more meals with others report significantly higher levels of life satisfaction and positive affect, and lower levels of negative affect. This is true across ages, genders, countries, cultures and regions.'
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Growing up, my family only ate together once a week and we all brought a book to the table, thinking that more interesting than conversation. By contrast, my boyfriend is the youngest of seven, and all nine family members were expected to take turns telling a story while squabbling over the potatoes.
Freston's background is more like mine. 'Growing up, we were pretty much forced to eat at the table, but it wasn't like in movies. It was more 'You're not getting down until you finish.' So when we got older and could rebel, we'd just eat dinner on our lap watching TV,' she says. 'Now, unfortunately, my son and I don't eat much together because we've got different schedules. I think not having grown up with eating at the table being a happy occasion, I've never tried to instil it.'
Parents risk getting burnout if they worry too much about getting bums on dinner table seats every day, says Dr Georgia Middleton. A research fellow at Flinders University's Caring Futures Institute, Middleton focusses on the social and cultural aspects of food. She thinks it's fine to have a few meals a week that are a means to an end: getting everyone fed and back to their nightly routines. What she's interested in is how to encourage families to share a few meals more intentionally.
'A kinder and more beneficial way to go may be having one or two meals a week where you sit down together, with the intention of connecting with each other, connecting over the food you're eating, communicating, sharing and bonding,' she says. 'The meal may be messy, it may not be perfect, but you will have spent some dedicated time together as a family.'
According to the World Happiness report, Australians share, on average, 8.5 meals per week with people they know (about 50% of our lunches and 70% of our dinners), ranking well above people in the UK and US. While the connection is strong, the report says 'there remain vast gaps in our understanding of the causal dynamics' – that is, it is not yet clear whether eating together improves subjective wellbeing and social connectedness or vice versa. Nevertheless, when it comes to the strength of the association between sharing meals and wellbeing, Australia is one place where this association is the strongest – although more research needs to be done to ascertain why.
'My conjecture is that in countries where individualistic culture is strong, social rituals that bring people together might be particularly important for people's wellbeing,' says Alberto Prati, one of the authors of the report and an assistant professor in economics at University College London.
Middleton says other research has indicated that prioritising personal dining preferences is more prevalent in more individualistic countries such as the US and the UK, compared with European countries such as France, Italy or Switzerland where tradition and eating together are more important. 'I would say that [Australia is] a bit of a hybrid between the two, perhaps heading in the direction of more individualisation, but not quite to the same extent as the US and UK,' she says.
But we are living more individualised lives. Single-person households are on the rise in Australia, with the 2021 census showing an increase from 18% in 1981 to 26% in 2021. Castlemaine Community Lunch is not the only initiative designed to bring together people – living alone or not – at a social meal. An hour down the Calder Freeway in Melbourne there are regular Free to Mingle events with conversational prompts and craft activities. The Chatty Cafe scheme is an initiative where venues across the country can offer 'have a chat' tables for anyone wanting to drop in and connect with other people. Club Sup holds big dinner parties for strangers in Sydney and Melbourne, expanding the 'orphan's Christmas' idea into something all-year round.
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So what am I waiting for? Like Freston, I live in Castlemaine, and despite it being a culturally buzzing small town, I've resisted diving headfirst into the community. It's that avoidant gene: what if you commit and then can't escape?
Retired school principal Vic Say, who says he is shy and an introvert, reckons it's fine to just dip a toe in the water. 'Community Lunch is valuable in being with people without necessarily having to be madly social,' he says. 'As somebody who's lived on my own for the past nine years, it creates a punctuation mark in the week.'
'The food is always fabulous and very healthy and contains a lovely range of ingredients that I wouldn't have at home,' he says.
Using donated ingredients, chef Duang Tengtrirat creates a vegetarian main, two salads and a dessert each week. That makes sense – it's likely that by sharing meals we will benefit from better nutrition. If I'm on my own I'm liable to crack an egg over instant rice to save time and money. Reviewing the literature about shared meals, the World Happiness report researchers found that adolescents who ate more meals with family members had 'better diet and nutritional habits, lower levels of obesity, fewer eating disorders, and greater academic achievement'.
Having settled at a trestle table with my bean bake, I suss out the room. The lunch is attended by a broad demographic, most of whom are chatting, but there's no pressure. Freston had even advised me I could bring a book if I wanted – better than scrolling a phone, in her view.
'Anyone sitting here?' a woman asks, hovering next to me.
'You are,' the woman opposite says with a smile. I was about to say that.
As is human nature, I impose an entire backstory on to the woman sitting opposite, but all my preconceptions explode five minutes into our conversation. By the end of the lunch I have to admit to myself that one advantage of being a journalist is the privilege of having intense conversations with strangers but it turns out you can do that even when you're not on the job.
That night, I take a leaf from the book of my boyfriend's family. When we sit down for dinner, he and I see who can tell the best tale from the day.
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Telegraph
20-05-2025
- Telegraph
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Daily Mail
04-05-2025
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE Our country was voted the happiest nation in the world... but we think it's bull**** - here's why
Strolling through the windswept grey streets of Helsinki, there's one fact every Finn seems to know off by heart – their country is rated the happiest place on earth. At least that's what the authors of the UN-sponsored World Happiness Report from the University of Oxford decided (for the eighth year in a row). But most of the Finnish people quizzed by MailOnline haven't the faintest idea how they managed to be crowned champions of the cheerfulness charts. After all, they may be glowing inside, but perhaps because their country is plunged into darkness and sub-zero temperatures half the year, they do tend to look a bit of a miserable bunch. That's certainly true of the hundreds of people standing in line for hours outside a foodbank in Helsinki's city centre, with the queue extending around a city block and out of sight. It's also no stranger to street crime. 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'I was worried about the Russians because of Ukraine, but I feel safe here now. People here are generally honest and although this is highly debated, I find people very welcoming. 'They're not as expressive as we Italians, but if you speak their very difficult language, you can find the warmth underneath.' Back outside Helsinki's main railway station, primary school teacher Onerva Girs, 22,thought there was something in the Happiness Index. 'I think we are happy, but we don't always realise it. We get free education and free healthcare, but we tend to complain a lot, but I don't know who gets asked the questions for this survey, because I don't think you'd find many Finnish people telling you how happy they are! 'I feel that being born in Finland is like winning the lottery and I'd rather live here than anywhere else. It is expensive, but so is much of Europe, and although we pay high taxes, we get quite a lot back for it.' Traffic engineer Niko Suokko, 28, agreed, up to a point: 'Everyone is always talking about the happiness index and wondering why Finns don't look happy on the outside, especially when the weather is grey and horrible. It's warm today, by our standards, you know. [6C] 'I think the index isn't measuring happiness, but the possibility of it. 'So if the government is taking care of the people, and public transport is working, and you have the chance to get a job, family and education. Taking all those into account, you have a great chance for happiness, but it's your responsibility to take the chance. ' *The World Happiness Report is published by the Wellbeing Research Centre at the University of Oxford, in partnership with Gallup, the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network
The Guardian
01-05-2025
- The Guardian
Just one in three British families eat together each day, survey shows
A quarter of British families no longer talk at dinner, with most bringing their phones to the table and 42% of parents saying they struggle to find a topic of conversation, a survey of 2,000 households shows. It found that just one in three families sit down to eat together every day and conversations are increasingly being replaced by scrolling and screens. Two-thirds (66%) of children aged eight to 16 said they would rather eat in front of a TV or computer than with a parent, and 51% said they actively used their devices while eating. However, it is not just young people who are increasingly being drawn towards their screens – 39% of children said they had to ask their parents to put down their phones at the table. Commissioned by The Week Junior, a weekly news magazine for children, the research found that a reluctance to discuss current events was part of the reason why dinner table conversation had fizzled out. Over 70% of parents said they struggled to discuss the news with their children and 42% found it difficult to come up with a topic of conversation altogether. In its latest edition, the magazine published a set of conversation cues for parents and children, such as 'If you were in charge of the country, what would you do?' and 'What's one thing you would like to know more about?' Vanessa Harriss, editor of The Week Junior, said: 'In our fast-paced daily lives, being able to spend time together as a family can be a challenge and the digital distractions are ever more insistent. 'Whether it's chatting about everyday things or discussing what's going on in the news, family conversations boost children's development and their wellbeing.' The research found that despite worrying signs dinner time conversation was dying out, children and parents were keen to bring it back. Of the children surveyed, 82% said they wanted dinner to be a special time set aside exclusively for conversation with their parents. The majority said they enjoyed discussing a range of topics, from global affairs to playground drama, and 83% said they preferred having these conversations with their parents face to face at the table, rather than over the phone. Of the parents, 93% said they would more consistently enforce dinner table rules if it helped their children's development and 94% said they learned something from their children in two-way discussions. Dr Elizabeth Kilbey, an author and child psychologist, said: 'These simple, daily interactions can make a significant impact, not just in strengthening family ties but in cultivating a generation equipped to lead empathetically and thoughtfully.' This year's World Happiness Report examined the link between eating together and wellbeing for the first time. It found that dining alone was becoming more prevalent, especially among young people, but those who shared more meals with others reported significantly higher levels of life satisfaction and social support.
