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Yahoo
08-08-2025
- Yahoo
Charity warning for Swindon Pride attendees amid domestic abuse concerns
A charity is urging the LGBT+ community to seek support if they are experiencing domestic abuse. As Swindon prepares to celebrate Pride this weekend, Society Without Abuse (SWA) is reminding people that abuse can happen in any relationship, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Kate Rowland, chief executive of SWA, said: "Domestic abuse can happen to anyone in any relationship no matter how they identify, their age or their background. "In same-sex relationships the abuse can often be multi-faceted due to community and identity issues and it's known that victims are less likely to report their experiences or seek help, with 61 per cent of people who acknowledge they have been victims saying that they did not seek professional support to recover. "As a result, LGBT+ victims are more likely to self-harm or commit suicide. "However, it's important to know that there is expert support available to people of all genders and backgrounds in Swindon who are experiencing domestic abuse." The charity highlights that domestic abuse is believed to be more common in same-sex relationships, but that many individuals may not recognise abusive behaviours or feel able to reach out for help. SWA also runs a behaviour change scheme called Open2Change, which supports individuals who use harmful behaviours in relationships to seek help and change. Ms Rowland said: "Swindon is also home to our innovative behaviour change programme that works with people who use harmful behaviour and they can come directly to us to seek support to change." The Open2Change programme is delivered one-to-one and is available to people of all genders and relationship types, including those in same-sex and mixed-sex relationships. SWA will be present at Swindon Pride this weekend to raise awareness of its services and recovery programmes. Read more: Shoplifter who assaulted staff jailed and banned from stores The charity, originally founded in 1974 as Swindon Women's Aid, takes a whole-family approach to tackling domestic abuse, with 50 years of experience supporting survivors, families and perpetrators. Its specialist team for children and young people collaborates with educators to promote healthy relationships at an age-appropriate level. The charity also works with businesses and the wider community to ensure people know how to signpost victims to support. SWA operates two fundraising shops, located in The Parade in Swindon and Hughenden Yard in Marlborough. Anyone in need of advice or support related to domestic abuse can contact Swindon's domestic abuse helpline on 01793 610610.
Yahoo
01-08-2025
- Yahoo
How to ask her to be your girlfriend: A guide for shy lesbians & sapphics
If there's one feeling that can top the initial rush of attraction—especially when it's mutual—it's that moment when you officially become girlfriends (or partners, or whatever term best fits your relationship). You've done the apps, you've conquered your gaydar struggles, and you've even made the first move and things are going great, but there is still one hurdle left—and that's defining the relationship. Why does it matter? Beyond simply making a mutual commitment, it's an acknowledgment that what you're feeling is shared, and that you're in it together. It's sweet, affirming—and, at times, totally nerve-wracking. Especially if you're the one initiating the conversation. But it doesn't have to be. There are ways to ease the anxiety: feeling confident that this is truly what you want, picking up on cues that they're on the same page, and knowing what to say when the moment comes. Listen, we get it—easier said than done. That's why PRIDE reached out to dating and relationship experts, bisexual licensed sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos, and certified matchmaker and relationship expert Tammy Shaklee, for their advice on how to ask your sweetie to be your girlfriend—when you're ready to take the plunge. Are you ready? Here's how you'll know. The first step to feeling calm (well, as calm as possible) when asking the person you're dating to be your girlfriend is to first be secure in knowing that it's what you want. It comes down to both timing and a gut feeling, says Roos. 'Generally, you know you're ready when you're longing to take the next step—that it feels natural to let her become a bigger part of your life, no matter what kind of relationship you're having now.' If that's not clear enough, Shaklee says to take an analytical approach and consider dynamics that will lead to a healthy relationship, when and if she says yes. 'Have you taken the time to genuinely get to know each other, not just through constant communication and sharing, but through a range of shared experiences, emotions, mutual support, patience, and understanding?,' Shaklee asks. If the answers are yes, then chances are you're in a good place to take the next step. Just remember, there's no rush if you're not quite sure yet, adds Roos. 'Take a step back to feel whether or not this is the natural next step—something you'll feel if giving yourself some time to reflect over the situation, your relationship, and listen to your feelings.' Once you know the answer to that, you know what your next move will be, provided you feel they are on the same page with you. Which leads us to… Are they? Here's the signs to look out for. In moments like this, when you're putting yourself out there and are vulnerable, you may wish you could read your sweetie's mind. Sadly, no advice our experts can give, no matter how skilled they are, will give you superpowers—but they can offer some clues of what to be on the lookout for. Roos says to consider how they talk about you and your future together when the conversation arises. 'Does she use an 'us' when talking about the future, and does she like to make plans of things you should do together? Is there any interest in meeting your friends and family, and overall becoming a bigger part of your life?' Roos asks. If the answers are yes, it indicates they are in a similar headspace. 'That's signs of her also wanting to make things more serious and take your relationship to the next level, and move to the next step,' explains Roos. 'So pay attention to small details in her way of seeing you, and pick up the overall feeling she's giving!' Also assess how she makes you feel, says Shaklee. 'Do you feel this relationship is truly reciprocal? Do both of you feel comfortable, heard, seen and are there clear signs that your attention isn't divided by outside distractions?' she asks. Again, if the answer is in the affirmative, those are good signs that you both want the same thing. How and when to pop the girlfriend question. - Yuri A/Shutterstock You've assessed, you've considered, you've asked yourself all the important questions—and yep, you wanna do it. You wanna make your paramour your official girlfriend. But how? Here's the experts' best advice for popping the question: #1'Try to keep it quite simple, but yet personal,' says Roos, adding it doesn't have to be the most romantic moment in history. 'The most important thing is that you let her hear how you're feeling for her, and what you'd like you to become.' #2 'Picking the right moment is important,' says Roos. 'It doesn't necessarily need to be that cinematic romantic moment that might never come. However, you should be in a place where there's no stress and no distractions, so you can spend that moment with just the two of you and really have time for each other.' Shaklee adds that breakfast time is a surprisingly ideal time for the conversation since it's casual and intimate. 'It's a great time to be calm, clear, and level-headed in having a legit conversation. Whether you make it on your own, or meet out for a special table for two,' she says. #3 'Be straight up with how you're feeling. Even though it's super scary to open up this way, it always turns out so much better if you're putting your heart out on that plate and let her know exactly what you want and how you're feeling,' Roos advises. If you're tongue-tied, Shaklee says something along the lines of the following communicates what you want and what you're feeling, but also gives them some space to consider their feelings, too: 'Let's be serious for a sec. I truly enjoy you, your company, your friendship, and really hope to make some more fun memories together. I admire and respect about you your kindness, drive, fun personality, your way in the world that I think is so rare and significant, etc). I'm into making it an exclusive thing, and want to give you time to think about it. I respect your answer either way.' What to do if they say no? Even when you've set yourself up for success, it can still not go the way you hope—otherwise it wouldn't be so nerve-wracking. So it's best to also prepare for them to say no, too, say the experts. 'Getting a no is always a risk, and most of the times not anything personal, even though it easily can feel that way,' says Roos. The key, she says, is to try and focus on gratitude for the honesty.' 'Respond with kindness and respect,' adds Shaklee. 'Continue being the person she's clearly drawn to, the one she may grow to feel more aligned with in time. People move at different emotional paces, and not every 'no' is permanent.' But most of all, you should also be proud of yourself for being brave and putting yourself out there. 'Pat yourself on the back for being so brave to ask someone this!' says Roos. And don't give up on love! Experts cited: Sofie Roos, a bisexual licensed sexologist, relationship therapist and author at relationship magazine Passionerad Tammy Shaklee, a relationship expert, certified matchmaker, and founder of H4M Matchmaking. This article originally appeared on Pride: How to ask her to be your girlfriend: A guide for shy lesbians & sapphics RELATED What to do when your girlfriend wants an open relationship How to date a girl: 15 ways to woo your first date Solve the daily Crossword
Eater
28-07-2025
- Eater
A New Printer's Row Bar Proves Vital to Locals
has been a regular contributor to Eater Chicago since 2021. She's written for Chicago Tribune, CS, Block Club Chicago, OpenTable, Time Out Chicago, Chicago Sun Times, Chicago Magazine, and So Good. For Jennifer Wilson and James Shields, there's personal motivation behind opening Vitalogy, their new bar on the ground floor of a 142-year-old brick building in Printer's Row. 'One of the biggest things when we bought this space is that we love this street,' Wilson says. 'We live here, and we wanted to be something that was inviting to the neighborhood and not only uplifts it, but hopefully uplifts some of the other businesses, too.' Open since early June, Vitalogy has established itself as a neighborhood hangout with weekly specials and a happy hour. On a recent weekday visit, the room was decked out with rainbow decorations for that evening's Pride celebration. The 18-seat wood-topped bar was almost full with solo imbibers and couples. Plans are in place for community-focused activities, cocktail classes, and live music from local musicians. For their beverage list, the couple leaned into their travels and love for Chicago for inspiration. Beer options include Spain's Estrella and Belgium's Delirium Tremens and Chicago's Old Irving and Printer's Row. There's a handful of wine options, non-alcoholic drinks, and THC- and CBD-infused drinks. Of the 10 house cocktails, Shields is especially proud of the Second City Milk Punch — a clarified milk punch with Jeppson's Malört. 'It's not everybody's cup of tea, but it gets a lot of compliments,' he says. The Second City Punch is made with Jeppson's Malort. Vitaology Expect seasonal cocktails with fresh herbs being grown in a hydroponic garden in the bar's glass-enclosed wine room toward the back of the space. Originally, the couple didn't plan on serving food, but a discussion with their alderman's office made it clear that wasn't an option. They enlisted a French-trained chef friend who also lives in their building as a consultant. The couple didn't want to disclose where the chef worked. The chef hired the staff and developed the menu, no easy feat as the small kitchen relies on only a convection oven and induction burner to cook its food. The concise menu includes small plates like roasted nuts and chickpeas, and chicken and steak skewers. Larger plates include beef and vegan cheeseburgers on a brioche bun. For dessert, there's a chocolate chip cookie skillet, a root beer float, and a THC creamsicle soda. To transform the former secondhand store into the bar of their dreams, the couple was adamant that the interior of the 1,300-square-foot space reflect the vibe of the neighborhood. The build-out took three years, and reclaimed items are used throughout, including a vintage leaded glass door at the entrance. They worked with a carpenter who had built several Chicago bars in the past, with Vitalogy being one of the last before he recently retired. For its name, they stuck close to home. Formerly a printing company, like many of the ones surrounding it, this building focused on children's books, including The Wizard of Oz. It also holds several encyclopedias, one of called Vitalogy, a health and wellness-focused book printed in 1916. The fact that it's also the name of a Pearl Jam album was a bonus. A glass case displays a copy of that book along with a few others. For now, the couple will remain at their day jobs — Wilson works in finance, while Shields is in tech sales. They'll continue to head over to Vitalogy after work and on the weekends, just like other locals in the neighborhood. 'These days it seems everybody's doing multiple gigs,' says Wilson. 'This is a heck of a side hustle, though. I've joked that we could've just bought a car and driven for Uber, but this has been much more fun.' Vitalogy, 723 S. Dearborn Street, (872) 318-2118, open 4 p.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Thursday; 4 p.m. to 12 a.m. on Friday; 12 p.m. to 12 a.m. on Saturday; and 12 p.m. to 10 p.m. on Sunday. Eater Chicago All your essential food and restaurant intel delivered to you Email (required) Sign Up By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Notice . This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
