EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Why Mrs Cleese's sharp memory could come in handy for John
Tentative plans this year for a joint birthday celebration behind closed doors for Andrew and big sister Anne were apparently vetoed. With Anne's 75th on Friday and Andrew having already turned 65, my mole reports: 'It was contemplated by the King but ruled out after objections from William. Anne may be supportive of her exiled brother but the heir to the throne isn't.'
Revelations President Trump wanted to date Dame Emma Thompson immediately after her divorce from Sir Kenneth Branagh confirms Donald's penchant for newly available English roses. He also bombarded the late Princess of Wales with 'massive bouquets of flowers' when the ink was barely dry on her divorce from Charles. After Diana expressed alarm, presenter pal Selina Scott advised: 'Throw them in the bin.'
Publicly mourning the passing of pet duck Magda – his cheeky tribute to Australian actress Magda Szubanski – Sir Sam Neill delights in naming his farmyard animals after Hollywood colleagues. Sir Sam's former co-star Michael Fassbender (who famously appeared fully naked in the film Shame) regrettably failed to see the funny side on hearing of 'Fassbender' the cockerel.
Acknowledging memory issues as he approaches 86, John Cleese cheerfully says of fourth spouse Jennifer (both pictured), who is more than 30 years his junior: 'I have a wife with a very good memory and she tells me what I was doing the day before.' Confusing the various blonde Mrs Cleeses down the decades threatens to become an occupational hazard.
Bowing out as the Earl of Grantham after the upcoming third Downton movie instalment, frisky housewives' favourite Hugh Bonneville prepares to make his lucrative debut on the cruise-ship circuit. 'I'm absolutely thrilled to be sailing with Cunard,' insists canny Hugh, separated from Mrs Bonneville. 'I look forward to sharing a few stories... and exploring the Caribbean with my fellow guests.' Ker-ching!
Reflecting on feuding with Blue Peter presenter John Noakes after barring him from using his famous canine co-star in adverts, the show's late boss Biddy Baxter mischievously pointed out plenty of viewers 'liked Shep more than they liked John'.
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