My quest to gatecrash Jeff Bezos's wedding

Telegraph

4 hours ago

'We are excited for you to join us!' was the enthusiastic opening line on Jeff Bezos's wedding invitation.
The loved-up Amazon entrepreneur and his bride-to-be, Lauren Sánchez, were thrilled to share their personal passion for Venice when they urged 250 of their nearest and dearest to celebrate their nuptials with three days of lavish celebrations in the Lagoon City.
Decorated in straw-coloured butterflies and shooting stars soaring above the historic Rialto Bridge, the invitation was sent to the brash and the beautiful, billionaires and millionaires, and A-list actors such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Orlando Bloom. Oh and a slew of Kardashians.
But my invitation never arrived.
There was only one option: gatecrash the wedding. So how do you pretend to rub shoulders with billionaire VIPs who have parked their private jets at the airport and docked their multi-million-dollar luxury superyachts around the Giudecca Canal?
Recalling the takeaway message from the Hollywood hit movie The Wedding Crashers, I knew I had to be 'the life of the party'. As the film's protagonists told us – it pays to blend in, so you can stand out.
To do that, I would need a designer dress with an unaffordable price tag, glittering jewels, a dose of silicone to pump me up and a Botox injection or two. Of course, a private water taxi and a personal squad of hefty bodyguards would also help to reinforce my status and get me across the line.
Alas, it's easier said than done.
Dressed in a black halterneck dress and wobbly high heels, I instead board a crowded water bus on the Grand Canal before snaking my way through a labyrinth of alleys in stifling heat to arrive at the Madonna dell'Orto, the 14th-century cloister, where the first event is getting under way in the Cannaregio quarter on Thursday evening. My hairdo has already collapsed with the humidity.
Local traffic has been halted on the waterways and a no-fly zone imposed by the city authorities. A dozen uniformed Carabinieri police block the bridge leading to the entrance. Anti-riot shields and batons are lined up along the wall. As I approach the bridge, an officer with a boyish face greets me with his hands on his hips.
'You can go as far as the barrier, but no further,' he tells me.
From the narrow bridge I have a clear view of the courtyard in front of the cloister around 30 yards away, but two police officers and three private security guards are determined to stop me from getting to it.
Dressed in a tailored black suit, white shirt and polished patent leather shoes, the bald-headed boss of the crew could pass for a wedding guest himself. He removes his aviator glasses and smiles broadly as I seek to negotiate.
'Look at these people, they look like trash,' I say, introducing myself as a reporter from The Telegraph and referring to the crush of casually dressed Italian and foreign media colleagues standing beside me. 'I look like a wedding guest!'.
My robust opponent is charming but firm. 'I wish I could,' he says. 'For me this is all nonsense!'
Our tête-à-tête is suddenly interrupted by a string of water taxis. Ivanka Trump, wearing an enviable floral Oscar de la Renta number, and her husband Jared Kushner, are among the early arrivals. I catch a glimpse of Bill Gates and Oprah disembarking.
There is a flurry of activity as a group of besuited men spring to life along the banks of the canal and a frisson ripples through the awaiting media before Queen Rania of Jordan alights in a floating Fendi gown.
A beaming Bezos and his bride-to-be create a bit of a splash as they disembark from another water taxi – Sánchez, dressed in an hourglass Schiaparelli Haute Couture, which highlights her ample décolletage, before Kim Kardashian steals the show in a slinky, silver snakeskin Versace.
I am not the only one sidelined by the event. Local residents are also stopped at the bridge.
Mara Sartore, who runs an art gallery and bar in the area, is annoyed she could not get to her gallery and her home, both close to the church. 'We don't need this event,' she says. 'We don't want our city to only be about weddings. We already have enough tourism.'
Sartore is grateful for the 'No Space for Bezos' protesters taking a stand to protect the city from exploitation. 'We live here and we love this city. We want to keep the city alive. If one day it is empty, it will no longer be so beautiful.'
Across the water from St Mark's Square, on the tiny island of San Giorgio, intense preparations are taking place behind the garden walls for what is expected to be the main event when Bezos and his bride-to-be exchange vows, or at least rings (reports say the couple legally married in the US ahead of their Venice ceremony) inside an amphitheatre on Friday.
Unsurprisingly, the entrance is again blocked by Carabinieri police and private security guards who tell me I can go no further without accreditation or, alas, an invitation.
Instead I head to the other side of the Giudecca Canal to the Arsenale, the 15th-century shipyards and armoury that was once the backbone of the Venetian Republic.
Built like a fortress, the former shipyards span 110 acres and it's easy to see why it has reportedly been chosen as the venue for the main party, as its walls make it hard for protesters and unwanted guests, like me, to get in.
Around 80,000 roses and fireworks are reportedly being shipped in, along with Lady Gaga to entertain the guests. But there is no sign of either of them. Instead, the windows are barred and blacked out and security guards – a couple with sniffer dogs – are positioned at every entrance.
One guard tells me he can't speak to me, while another stops me on the opposite side of the building, saying 'I am sorry, this is the limit.'
'Until tomorrow night?' I venture.